DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Is he in the Forces/ ex-Forces? Or come from a particularly patriotic military family? If not it would be a hard no from me. For me, a bit chavvy and a lot naff, but then I feel the same way during football tournaments when everyone has them on their cars. 🙄

Plus if your house is the only one in the lovely with a flag outside, you’ll become a navigation point for neighbours when giving their visitors directions: “Down the road, past the house on the left with the flag outside, and ours is 5 doors down with the blue door.” 😂

My BIL (and therefore my sister) has a flag pole in the front garden.

He has quite a few different flags. He changes them for political reasons (Ukraine war), national mournings/celebrations, Christmas, certain days connected with him being ex Army.....

He has lots of flags but only one flag pole.

As my sister says, its harmless and as hobbies go it could always be worse!

I could not get worked up about this. It’s his home too. I think it’s fine. I often drive through the country and see flags, I just assume people love their country and support it. No more than that. I see more Ukraine flags than British ones these days to be fair.

If you live on a council estate and fly a flag people will assume you're racist chavs. If not, go for it and let him enjoy his flag. He sounds eccentric but fun.

One person in my mums village had one and he used to change the flag. He even ended up putting a note out as to which flag was flying as so many people asked lol. Go for it I say life is short flying your flag :)

I’d personally be mortified if DH wanted a flag in our front garden, so I sympathise.

But having said that I’m Team Flag too - I think his rationale is quite sweet and it’s about time we reclaimed the national flag from all the negative connotations - in lots of countries it’s absolutely normal to fly a national flag, it’s a shame that it’s mostly the preserve of eccentrics, racists and football supporters here.

Your dd won’t be able to tic tok in front of it- the flag poles are too tall for that!

I find it odd. But I’m also sad how unpatriotic we are and how many people do down our country which has many things going for it, so do it, maybe you’ll normalise it and pride in our country a little bit more for a few people.

I prefer the one attached to the house like in the US. And also the idea of changing it for different occasions

Mind my DH has started collecting coins so maybe he's on the slippery slope to flagdom.

I would not mind, since this seems to be a lifelong dream of his and not a whim. But I would assume zero responsibility for the raising and lowering of it. His dream, not yours.

They police won't come out for most things because they're too busy with all the flag erections they need to manage.

Our flag seems to represent racists now.
I have so much to do before work what with the kids and dog who has time to erect a flag. If my DH suggested this I'd probably laugh for a few days.

I see 2 in one street by my parents . Normal busyish roads in the Midlands. The one is very posh I've noticed it a few times flying about and thought what a great talking point.

If it makes him happy , let him have it. Who cares what people think ?!

I know of a house with a flagpole, they have an assortment of flags eg union jack, jolly roger, pride, some others that i’m not sure of.

You sound nice.

It is a pretty well known sign of having particularly extreme views, not pride, however it sounds quite fun where people have a range of interesting flags.

In Wales a Welsh flag is seen as being perfectly normal.

Especially during Six Nations or if by some miracle the football team has made it to the finals of the Euro or World Cup. May be the Welsh flag or cross of St David - yellow on a black background.

Yes,the Welsh and Scottish flags have never been hijacked by far right movements so are not associated with them.

It is a pretty well known sign of being far right extreme, so he might have a different view if he reads up on it perhaps (unless he is).

Having a flag pole?

Yes,the Welsh and Scottish flags have never been hijacked by far right movements so are not associated with them.

I didn’t realise the union jack had been hijacked though?

Certainly by BNP and UKIP.

My parents have one, as does a sibling. They each live on a few acres, so not as noticeable as in a street. TBH I forget about them, as they are both near trees and the pole blends in and to be frank I guess I don’t look up to much. My sibling has fun with it and flys the Jolly Roger and other flags at times, but most of the time they just leave them up for months at a time. I did laugh once when Dad put the new flag up upside down. We were joking the house was “in distress” and no one would tell him to spoil to joke🤣

Certainly by BNP and UKIP

I assumed BNP used the english flag & UKIP aren’t on my radar. Tbh someone flying a union jack wouldn’t make me think racist but each to their own.

It's such a shame the England flag has somewhat been hijacked by hooliganism.
I'm not English and it's sad to see this view.

Now I wouldn't want a flag pole on my property but I rather like seeing the odd one in a domestic setting. (although I’ve only ever seen 2 in this country). Great big things, no idea how you'd install one and how easy it would be to have it removed. I think there's a whole list of requirements in terms of taking the flag down at sunset, how do you dispose of a flag, you need to know how to make special knots to tie the flag to the pole and so on.

If it's not visible to your immediate neighbours and would make DH happy, why not?! Let him crack on but make it absolutely clear you're having nothing to do with it, no flag duties whatsoever for you, ever.

DH wanted this years ago and I objected vocally. He actually put up a flag pole and I promptly took it down again!! Fortunately he realized it was my hill to die on and didn’t press the issue.

For reference I’m in the US and absolutely can’t get on board with all the flag flying. As in, I don’t care what other people do, but I won’t be doing it!