DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yeah, but it's not a good thing. And no one already lived on the moon.

There was a trend for this in my village a few years back. Most flew the red rose flag and tbh didn't look that out-of place.
I have a union flag I hang in the window for coronation/jubilee etc so why not?

I'm in NL. Flag flying is the norm.
We have a detachable flag pole, with the bracket that holds it attached to the house it's not a huge stand up straight thing. My entire street has flag ploles. Some do everyday flag flying but mostly it's if a royal family member has a birthday, remembrance and liberation day. On Kings day you fly flag and the orange bunting comes out , party time.

During the Kings coronation in the UK and I even put my Union Jack out, neighbours thought it was great.
When your DC graduates high school, we fly our flag and hang their backpack from it for few days.
I found it a little odd when I first moved here, but I've been here for decades now and fully embrace the Dutch flag flying.

I live in the states, and as PPs have mentioned it's a thing here, but mainly for occasions, and hung from a bracket on your home, not an actual flag pole (the noise of the rope and clips is annoying). Many who fly the flag do it on (1) Memorial Day in remembrance of those who've passed and/or the dau they died un service for our country,, (2) Veterans Day if they're a Veteran, and (3) the 4th of July to celebrate our independence, etc. I'll pass on the various obnoxiously tacky Trump flags that are flying. The one that always makes me laugh is my sister-in-law who is English, and lives in the states, she flies the Union Jack on the Fourth of July!

We used to say The Pledge of Allegiance (to the flag) every morning in grade school. Organization(s) made noise about the separation of church and state as the Pledge of Allegiance mentions God, and it was discontinued. Honestly as a child it didn't ruin my life reciting it daily at the start of the day. We were taught about the history of the flags, and changes along the way, but I'm not yet suffering any ill effects of reciting, that I know of! LOL

Racists on twitter/insta often have union jacks on their profile or bios etc.

Oh dear- it's relatively normal where I live (in the UK- down South!) but mainly perhaps because we are a seaside and tourist town and many many people have the union jack or other boat-related flags flying such as various ensigns etc.

I quite like it!

I would agree, but my assumptions were questioned recently.

There's a house near us that has a big Union Jack flying in the back garden, and my thoughts were similar to some of the ones mentioned on this thread. But then a month of so ago they added the EU flag to the same pole, under the Union Jack.

They also have a second, smaller, flag pole with a flag with a football team logo on it.

I think they just really like flags.

Why are so many people opposed to the union flag it’s the flag of our nation and yes it has been hijacked and bastardised by some factions but it’s still a symbol of a country who believes in freedom, democracy, justice and peace. We should be taking it back from those who corrupt it and be proud of all the good things we do as a nation and part of that is realising that our history is part of our national identity but it doesn’t define us.

I can't believe the people stereotyping and equating having a flag pole with being racist 🤦

I'm sure your DH isn't, but most people who have flag poles are racists. If I was buying a house it would put me off if a neighbour had one.

it wasn’t just the British who did it pretty much everyone had a crack at it back in the day - it wasn’t right not by a long chalk.

OP I believe your husband isn’t racist. But of course lots of racists fly flags in this country. How does he feel about this? Is he ok with others drawing this unfair conclusion about him?

I am glad my husband doesn’t want a flag. At the very minimum, it’s really tacky!

And the prize for the most ridiculous comment of the week goes to...

Ah that old chestnut. The British arr the ones people remember so I think 'erecting' a flag is a really terrible idea!

Lots of racists have a fish supper on a Friday night but no one is suggesting that we boycott the local chippy.

You people are insane.

My parents’ neighbour has one, similar type of house. He’s very quirky though. Has flags for different occasions.

Flying a union flag does have BNP connotations. I wouldn’t want one and if my husband was that keen I’d insist we fly a Pride flag during Pride and a European flag at least once a year.

So torn on this only because of how sweet your dh sounds and it being such a dream of his.
I guess I could tolerate it.
Now, if it were a dovecote I'd be right up for that. That's my little dream.

As far as I know, the flags at homes in USA are almost always at homes of war veterans. Is your husband one or just an ignorant adult playing soldiers?

Well that depends where you go really - Cape Verde has only just been handed back by the Portuguese 🇵🇹

We have one in the neighbourhood, it’s nice they raise it for our birthdays, weddings etc and you can pay a tenner for their charity and they’ll then raise it for you to celebrate something. It’s quite nice to se it raised as we know someone in the community is celebrating something

We live in the States at the moment and recently moved into a new place that had a flag pole. DH got very excited and went and bought a bunch of flags.

We don’t raise and lower it daily, but we do swap out for different things. And I’ve kind of gotten into it. We had a Jolly Roger for International Talk Like a Pirate Day, A Turkey flag for Thanksgiving. We have the Stars and Stripes and the Union Jack and our State’s flag. We have a flag for our kids’ high school and a suffragette flag, and a couple of others I can’t remember. It’s been fun thinking up what to put for what special occasion. Whether to outrage the neighbourhood with the Union Jack on the 4th of July (we didn’t) or make a tiger stripes one for world tiger day (we did).

If we moved back to the UK I’d be tempted to do it there too.

Here In the UK it is different… if I see the flag there full time (ie. Not international sport league time), I assume there’s a bigot living there.

FIL had one- detached country house. I never asked why, he wasn’t a racist. I agree there are negative connotations with George Cross or Union Jack, sadly.

Get one and fly the EU flag!