DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

@MasterBeth

I agree with everything you have said. I'm just saying if you're so obviously not proud to be British then you may be happier elsewhere. I myself don't live in the UK anymore.

@Newchapterbeckons is obsessed with people coming from "estates". She's a dreadful snob, living in a Wiltshire village, but qualified to pontificate on the rest of the UK.

And she's been keeping the diatribe going since early afternoon. Perfectly normal behaviour, I'm sure...

It it's not that easy is it?

There's a house that does that down a road near us. It's just a normal house. I know absolutely nothing about the people who live there, but I've always just assumed that they're psychopaths. Or weird boat people like that "Admiral" in Mary Poppins who stands on his roof harassing Mr. Banks about being on the "starboard side" when he's just trying to get home after a long day grifting people out of their tuppances at the bank.

Either way, unless you're nutters or boat people, I wouldn't be fulfilling your husband's dream.

Ds has a flag pole in the back garden. He collects flags and changes the flag daily.

No l live in a very very left wing suburb. I think it’s one of the highest number of graduates in the U.K. In a house on a road.

I meant, that the extreme right go on marches etc waving huge union jacks. You don’t see this on any other marches. You might see little flags but not massive union jacks waved in an aggressive manner.

And this is how l think of the Union Jack. Hijacked by these racist thugs.

Incredible.

An ex-pat who loves her country so much, she won't even live here taking potshots about the patriotism of someone who does!

@MasterBeth

It wasn't that I wouldn't live in the UK. I moved to marry my now husband. I very much miss the UK and being away makes me prouder than ever.

I now live in the US, which has given me a greater appreciation for the positive aspects of being proud of your country.

I don't mean anything by "hijacked". I haven't said anything has been hijacked. Why are you asking me this question?

Yes, pride in the US is going extremely well, isn't it.

Is he a bit quirky? Will it fit with his personality? I mean you'll never have to provide directions to your home again just tell people to look for the flag.

If its been his dream forever I'd probably let him do it and just be very apologetic to the neighbours and make sure they know you've not lost your minds but you do of course take requests for specific flags which can be raised on special occasions. I would also put a condition on it that each family member gets to choose a flag and you rotate them and that you need to go full hog with it. Neighbour is getting married - special flag flies, someone's bday - full on ceremonial raising of the special bday flag, visitors coming - an honorary flag flies.You've got to fully embrace it if you're going to do it.

@MasterBeth

I'm not a fan of Donald Trump lol.

Oh my goodness no!!! If we ever drive down a road with flag poles I immediately think "this is not a good area" and would be concerned about racism.

Union Jack is marginally better than St George Cross, but both scream EDL.

Well clearly the student vibe is getting to you and colouring your world view, most people grow out of their hellfire views when they realise the world is nuanced. What happened to you?

We have lots of flags here. It’s rated one of the happiest places to live in the U.K. not a racist in sight! I don’t know how you have become so militant.

You can be forgiven if you are Swedish

Hilarious worldview from someone who thinks graduates are students and whose own world view is now restricted to her sleepy Wiltshire village. I thought you spent 20 years in London, Newch. What happened to you?

But there’s no students! It’s in the suburbs on the edge of the country. Way too far away from the universities. And my suburb is rated one of the top 10 in the U.K.

So there

Anyone who questions if the UK might might be a little bit racist looks like a dangerous militant in @Newchapterbeckons rural bolthole.

Unfortunately, flying the union flag on a pole at your house will make people think you're racist. It's just been too closely linked with the BNP and that sort for too long now. This isn't the USA, there's no pledge of allegiance and displays of patriotism culture iyswim.

Is he ok with being seen as a dimwitted racist right wing nutter? Rightly or wrongly people do judge based on observation and enough rabid racists wave the union flag that it's inexorably linked with them now.

So grads - same thing. They soon change when they can afford to join the housing ladder and realise there is more to life than screaming hellfire. I should know I was I was just the same.i never accused people of being EDL members though….. a low point thst you still haven’t apologised for.

@Newchapterbeckons take a breath, you must be totally exhausted!

Graduates are not the same as students. I'm a graduate. I'm 55. Guess what? I've paid off my mortgage and own my own house and still wouldn't put a flagpole up in my garden.

She thinks she's defending King and Country from the militant hordes. She's never felt so alive

I have only just got started.

"In a house on a road"

I don't understand. Aren't 99.9% of houses on a road? With a postal address including a street name and number / name? Even large stately homes are on a road, with a postal address, even if they have a long driveway. The only ones I can think of are crofts on moorland (no roads around), or on islands (access by boat).