DH and his flag pole dream….

[Lilysienna1]

DH mentioned a few years ago, that he has ‘always wanted’ to have a flag on display in the front garden. A proper flag on a pole, that we would raise up every morning, and ‘fly at half mast’ when the occasion calls for it.

I have never ever even thought of having a flag. We are British and I know it’s quite common in America, but not so much here. DH isn’t a football fan, so it’s nothing to do with the flag flying we see during the World Cup and the like.

last year, for Christmas he said the only present he would wish for, was to have that flag. He was most disappointed with the watch and aftershave he received instead.

He has now mentioned it to 13 year old DD who thinks it’s ‘kinda cool’ and she could imagine using it behind her for tik tok dances.

So now, I’m being made out to be highly unreasonable and a bore, for saying I do not want to raise a bloody flag every morning and see it outside the front of my house every day. I did try to compromise by saying ‘maybe’ a small one in the back garden, but DH says it’s to go out the front only, and why should we be ashamed of patriotism.

We don’t live in a grand estate home, just a detached house in a redrow cul-de-sac. The neighbours wouldn’t be affected as there are large trees between our only neigbours drive and ours, and we are on the corner.

However, everyone that comes in and out our road will see it as it’s the first house.

what would you do?? Give in and say yes to DH and his flag pole or put your foot down? Am I really being that unreasonable and boring? Does anyone else fly a flag? 🤦🏻‍♀️

I started a thread about this a few years back with my DH wanting one. We compromised on him just having it up during the summer for the football. He said I was scared of drawing attention to us and too middle class. Really not keen on them but I forgot about it after a while. He hasn't bothered at all last summer.

I enjoy the idea of having a flagpole, however the neighbour opposite does have one and the noise of It hitting against the pole when the windows are open at night when it's hot and you're trying to sleep is infuriating.

Is it the union jack flag???

When's his birthday?

https://www.flagpoleexpress.co.uk/flagpoles

You'll need this as well.
https://www.theflagshop.co.uk/

I'm English and now live in Wales.

In England, a Union Jack flag in peoples gardens seems to be a thing of ridicule.

In Wales a Welsh flag is seen as being perfectly normal.

We don't have a flag but I like seeing them when I'm out and about.

Yes

Oh good grief 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

Tell him you are very concerned about proper flag etiquette. What happens if something to warrant half mast happens when you are both out? Who will rush home? Are you going to install up lighting so that it can be flown after dark? If not, who is going to be at home to lower it before sunset in winter? Etc etc.

We have a flag pole at our lake cottage ( Brit's in USA) we have never had a flag because we couldn't really think of anything we wanted to fly.
But it seems a fairly harmless eccentricity.

Thank you for that. Me too. It stinks of pomposity.
OP

We have a couple of flagpole people in my town, they're all odd permanently unemployed, Pro Independence, Brexit hater people that rant and rave to anyone that will listen to them! Flagpole people in my Scottish town definitely seem to be a type!

Excluding my experience above, I personally wouldn't want to draw attention to myself as everyone will look as the go past, I prefer privacy in my garden.

He'd feel right at home in Northern Ireland!

He says the ‘dream’ has been since he visited the states as a child and stayed with a family that had a flag pole in their front garden 🤷🏻‍♀️ his parents said no to having one in their garden, back home in England and so then grew his dream: he always knew his own home in the future would be complete with the presence of a flag.
Having a wife trample over the dream was not part of his plan, clearly.

He didn’t even mention any of this to me until a few years back though and we’ve been together 20 years! 😬

He is honestly a lovely, kind and amazing man. The opposite of a racist brainless gammon type. He isn’t into football (although nothing wrong with that of course! Just stating that the wanting isn’t connected to any type of football hooliganism) he likes the royal family, so a bit of a royalist- would have liked to fly the flag at half mast when the queen died etc. He voted to remain so isn’t a Brexit supporter.

Absolute loon... If it's true

A neighbour a few doors down has a full size flag pole in his small back garden. In addition to flying the Union Jack for national holidays and royal events it's become a family sport trying to work out what the flags flown on other days signify. We reckon that he must have a cupboard full of them - international flags are flown on national days (Stars and Stripes, Tricolour, Australia, NZ plus many more) and for major sporting events (we have worked out he follows F1 and the Tour de France). Also an assortment of county crests and regimental flags. We've certainly learnt a lot about flags over recent years thanks to google whenever a new one appears that we don't recognise.

DD had asked about the changing of the flag / theme and DH replied that perhaps we could get MORE flags, as in not just the one pole, which is absolutely not going to happen. 🤣

He did try to encourage me a few years back, when he first mentioned it, by saying we could make a thing out of it, an occasion. And invite the neighbours- this was during the days of the pandemic, when we could only do doorstep visits and socially distant street parties. He thought it would really raise the spirit of the street.

When I was a teenager, a neighbour put up a flagpole in their front garden, didn’t occur to me to think twice about it. My DM was utterly disgusted at how "common" it was. The neighbours went on to build a large shed (also front garden) with neon signs saying that it was a bar. I could almost see the steam coming out of DM's ears.
As it turned out, after months of rowdy parties at weekends, they were the subject of a police raid and found to be part of a large drug ring in the estate. DM positively clucked over it and said she could tell because they had the poshest cars.
As an adult, I’m keenly aware of the ridiculous snobbery (she's still the same), we certainly weren't living in a mansion.
To me, I guess it would only make me look twice depending on which flag was flying. A Jolly Roger as per PP would make me grin every time

Er no it’s crackers

Perfectly normal in some counties, definitely batshit here. Stand firm.

A flag in your front garden in some countries is normal. In the UK it screams “I’m an absolute nutter”.

Our neighbour has one in the front if I remember rightly he lowered it for royal deaths but tbh never take much note till mentioned now

I think this is a situation where if one member of the family objects, it doesn't happen.
There is absolutely no fucking way I'd have a flag up in my garden.

Get him a little Lego house with a flag pole.

Is this thread still up? I am obviously completely out of touch😂

we went to look round a house on sale. Next door had a flagpole and Union Jack.

We turned round.

Our neighbour had one at the bottom of the garden adjoining ours, the noise drove me mad! Clink! Clink! Flap! Flap!

But saying that, life’s too short, get one!