21 year old daughter pregnant - help please

[MacciesApplePie]

I’m fairly new to this so thought I would post where there’s most traffic.
As the title said my 21 year old daughter has told me tonight that she’s pregnant. She has talked it over with her boyfriend and they would like to keep it. I said I will support her whatever
She has just started a zero hours contract as a waitress and he is self employed as a gardener.
Her dad and I don’t have huge amounts of money but we do have a flat that was left to us by his mum (shared with his brother) that is currently rented it
Could anyone please advise me where to look for any benefits they can claim, and advise if they could potentially live in the flat (we can’t afford for them to live there rent free so maybe benefits). This is a big shock to me but I want to help them all I can. Thank you :)

*thunder234 · Today 08:50

Why it is automatically assumed they should go on benefits. They can both get jobs and support themselves like everyone else does*

They both have jobs after being made redundant at the start of January. I don’t think there is any question over their work ethic. Many many families, couples and single people work and claim benefits

Being on benefits no longer means you are not in f/t work

Hmm ma y of my friends ad I had babies between 15 and 21. None of us had grandparents swoop in and take over. All of us were in jobs further education and 2 of y friends did degrees as single parents ( one with 2 toddlers.) So you maki g ahuge assumption there

Where does the OP say her 21 year old adult DD will be a single parent on benefits for ever?

Why are people assuming her BF won't stay with her?

But if they are on benefits they are not supporting themselves are they?

Lots of people in work get benefits. Do you think only the very rich should be allowed to have children?

Clearly you aren't aware of the Uc minimum income floor then. maybe you aren't affected by this currently because you are still in the 12 month start up phase of Uc or your minimum income floor is lower due to the age of your children. However if op's daughters partner is the main earner this will affect them . He will be expected to earn the equivalent of 35 x nmw. If he doesn't earn this then he can still be treated as if he does which can mean a low amount being paid. Perhaps read up on it rather than telling me I am 'clearly wrong' ?

I am on benefits, PIP. I work full time and get around a uk average wage.

I fell pregnant at 24. My mum gave me a very stern talking to about the reality of what my life would be and the sacrifices I would have to make at such an important time in my life and I terminated the pregnancy. I am 27 now and am grateful I did not have a baby then. It would have scuppered all my plans and goals massively. I know you want to be supportive and my mum certainly was, but she was frank and realistic. Raising a baby with money is hard enough these days. Doing it without is another story.

Do you think you are have regretted if you have been unable to conceive when you chose to though? Happened to friend of mine e Had abortion when with lost of boyfriend. 10 year later happily married had 6 miscarriages on the trot and never did manage to have a baby

Hmm. I haven't read the full thread.

Congratulations. It's probably old fashioned to ask when they are getting married, where they are going to live and how they are going to manage financially.

If they are grown up enough to have a baby they are grown up enough to attempt to be financially independent and to set out their own stalls.

However, had dd been in this position, she'd have floundered at 21 and wouldn't have been ready. I don't think she's ready at 25 to be honest, but at least she has a full time job and would be entitled to paid mat leave.

I think you need a factual discussion with them. It's a shame it wasn't had about contraception and consequences much earlier.

This is what I would do. Don't care if it is viewed as negative. Having a baby with no income is not something I want my DD to do, and no one in our house will go on benefits if there are other alternatives.

No but I don’t think that working people should expect to receive benefits. That is precisely why this country is falling apart.

I was 20 when I had my first and do not want that for my own children. It severely restricted my life choices as I had parents who worked full time and couldn’t help with childcare and ended up a single parent. I did work full time which helped and had a flat for a while. It was only once i met my now DH my life changed and things became easier. It’s only been now in my 30s I’ve been able to go and do my nurse training as I had no help To go any sooner.

Ive told my eldest now that she wasn’t a mistake but she wasn’t planned and how it honestly affected my life, I’ve told her to get herself a good career, see the world and live her life before kids

Posters are incorrect about housing benefit. She will be able claim housing benefit even thought you (part) own the property. Why wouldn't she, you are saving her having to go on the housing list and be provided council accommodation!

What is she and the guy who got her pregnant doing to support themselves and the baby they are choosing to have? Why is this the taxpayer’s problem?

Depends what you mean by good money. I know a head gardener at a stately home, responsible for a team of workers. He has 10 years experience and a degree, he is on £28k.
This young father might earn a lot more if he just mows lawns privately.
I'd honestly back right off OP. In 9 months they will be parents so they need to grow up quickly to sort out their own finances and living arrangements.

I woudn't leave them to sort it themselves as there are a billion posts on mums stepping in to do the childcare in this economy. You may be stuck holding the baby, as it were.

Op even if your dd is left holding the baby in the worst case scenario, you have a second home she can live in. More than most 21 years olds have.

@Newchapterbeckons

What are you talking about? A whole load of companies have just gone through rounds of redundancies. The risk you take when being with someone you work with is that if your company starts cutting staff, you can both end up redundant at the same time. That isn’t anywhere near “unable to hold down a job.” They’ve been made redundant and are looking for new jobs, but have taken other jobs in the mean time. That’s actually the adult thing to do.

Nicely OP. If they are old enough to have a baby, they can work this out for themselves. You need to let them do the research and grow up a bit.

Your daughter and her BF are not ready to bring a child to the world, sorry. I strongly disagree that the tax payers and you (grandma) should foot the bill. The couple need to grow up and sort themselves out.

I could not agree more. And why can’t the parents assist if they are in such dire straits. Why is is automatically assumed that they should claim what they are ‘entitled’ to. I cannot understand this mentality.

We are very lucky to live in an country with a safety net for when things like redundancies happen. They were both gainfully employer, then made redundant. That is exactly what tax payers should be supporting; giving a financial boost to those who have lost their jobs and are looking for new ones, which these people are. The majority of this country and one pay slip away from poverty. You lose your job, you need the benefit system to step in until you get a new one. That’s a great thing, which we should actually be proud of providing and not bashing those people who use it.

This is why the country is completely bankrupt!

What is more - if you are made redundant you receive a payout from the employer. This is mean to help you to find a new job not benefits!