21 year old daughter pregnant - help please

[MacciesApplePie]

I’m fairly new to this so thought I would post where there’s most traffic.
As the title said my 21 year old daughter has told me tonight that she’s pregnant. She has talked it over with her boyfriend and they would like to keep it. I said I will support her whatever
She has just started a zero hours contract as a waitress and he is self employed as a gardener.
Her dad and I don’t have huge amounts of money but we do have a flat that was left to us by his mum (shared with his brother) that is currently rented it
Could anyone please advise me where to look for any benefits they can claim, and advise if they could potentially live in the flat (we can’t afford for them to live there rent free so maybe benefits). This is a big shock to me but I want to help them all I can. Thank you :)

They told me otherwise. That I couldn't get it if my family own the house ... But then my parents came to me and said its the business that owns it and I think they said that was fine

Hmmm, sounds like an odd one @blackpanth - though I can only speak for my own local authority and maybe they can each set their own acceptance criteria?

Happily it sounds as if you might have sorted it, but I'd definitely get further advice if they do continue to block you

Edited to add I didn't mean you're doing this oddly, but that their approach might be

@izimbra someone already rents the flat, not so easy to kick tenants out, and why should they be kicked out? Also OP doesn’t have full ownership of the flat.

I don't think anyone is thinking she shouldn't help but she's asking what benefits her daughter will get.

Honeychickpea · Today 14:36

MamaAlwaysknowsbest · Today 14:23

So I won't encourage my daughter to put herself in such future situation but if happens, all I have, own and all my physical abilites will be transferred immediately to my new grand baby and her mum , Sorry , may be not the typical opinion. If her future partner or husband is good and more mature and working and providing, good. But imagine he is not. Then of course I will go step and provide full time support, with no question

It might be better to do the teaching first rather than the rescuing.
...........

yes but how many of us, even having had all the teaching, still got pregnant the very same way, at that age !!

Presumably OP and her family are working people who have paid into the system for many years. Their child now finds herself in a situation where she may need to avail herself of support for a few years.

This is what the welfare state was designed for...to help people short term, until they are in a position to help themselves (with a few disability related exceptions where someone may need ongoing support forever).

With the right family support, it does not follow that OPs daughter will be a drain on the benefits system for years.

If OP and family have been working for years, why should their children not receive short term support when it's needed?

You're being very blasé @MacciesApplePie, I'd be absolutely beside myself if it was my daughter. Both of them are, essentially, unemployed. Cost of living is crippling even the responsible young couples (ie those with their own home and decent jobs). Given that they're both young and healthy, I can't imagine they'll be entitled to any benefits.

They’ll be entitled to universal credit if their income is below the threshold. That’s what it’s for, to top up people on low incomes so they can afford to live.

And yet plenty of us were in the same situation and made it work.

Neither of us had jobs when I found out I was pregnant (id just graduated) and DH was still a student. I found FT work, lived at home, DH continued at uni, worked PT and sent me decent money every month.

Where there's a will, there's a way

If you pay rent to a landlord who is also a close relative and you live in the same property then you will not be able to claim housing benefit.
If you pay rent to a landlord who is also a close relative and you do not live in the same property then you may be able to claim housing benefit. However the Council will need to ensure that the tenancy meets all the criteria of a fully commercial arrangement and will probably ask you for more details in support of your claim. The rent shouldn't be discounted (so the idea that the OP has of charging rent and routinely paying it back would actually be fraudulent) and the applicant's income should be below the threshold for qualifying for UC.

Utilising the benefits system when you're young and fit to work isn't akin to falling on hard times; the latter of which is actually what the system is designed for.

I didn't realise we were all being crippled by the cost of living, I'll need to tell our finances
We aren't wealthy, but cost of living hasn't meant we're feeling the pinch. Of course we pay out more, but we still have plenty to save or spend as we please.
Why is it assumed that the OP's daughter will either be miserable on benefits or scraping by on pennies? We certainly didn't at near enough her age, even with our second.

I wonder if it would be best not to read on OP, you didn't ask for unnecessary "advice " to consider termination or assumptions that the couple will be scraping by on benefits as it seems to be assumed their jobs will instantly disappear at the time of the birth.

Be a realist but offer unconditional love and support.

Who said they wouldn't be working?!

This is a depressing thread. Yet more ‘benefits will take care of it all’.

Agreed. Tired of everyone automatically seeing benefits as the answer to everything. The country is skint. They’re working ages, they should find full time jobs, rent a flat and support themselves.

There is another thread on here where a 16 year old is planning a baby with her mum's loving support. Now that's depressing. ( Yes, TAAT etc etc).

The welfare safety net is there for anyone who needs it because they can't earn sufficient money to meet their basic living needs, for whatever reason - because they're carers for young children or elderly people, because their wages are very low and insufficient to provide for their basic needs, because they're ill and can't work etc.

To the benefit bashers. Isn’t it good that we are all in the fortunate position to not have to claim benefits.

Not fortunate, just making decent decisions and taking responsibility for ourselves. I would be stunned if she was using reliable contraception (ie not ‘the pill where I take it when I remember’ or condoms ‘most of the time’).

Yes and that’s why we have no cash and struggling services, but I digress.

She has a job as a waitress
He is a gardener

In what way are they unemployed?

No, that's not what I'm saying. I was on the other thread fully in support of the 2 child cap and not allowing people to languish for years with their lifestyle being supported by the taxpayer forever more.

I do not believe benefits should take care of it all. I believe people should be able to avail themselves of support in times of need (just like all these people claiming childcare costs from the government are doing), but with a view to becoming self supporting in the near future.

Nice bashing of those on benefits, and you threw in some infantilisation while insulting their intelligence too. Nice.
It is obvious you don't know many people on benefits, let's hope you never fall on hard times yourself, because all the planning in the world doesn't protect you from the unexpected.

Is though? Other countries have more generous welfare systems than the UK. The French spend an additional 50% more of their GDP on public spending than we do, and they don't have collapsing public services, record levels of homelessness, widening health inequalities like we have in the UK.

The state of UK public services and our housing situation didn't just happen by chance. They're the result of public policy decisions.

There is a sizeable contingent on Mumsnet that feels anyone who has a baby without owning a house in a desirable area, having a degree from a Russell group uni, 6 figure income and an expensive ring on your finger are basically feckless scroungers with feral children.

The reality is the most people are neither scroungers or Mumsnet wealthy on a 6 figure salary, and have perfectly happy children and home lives. Not everyone enjoys partying and constant travelling and don't feel they have missed out if they don't get to do this before having a family. I did some of those things before having my first at 26 and feel like I only did because it was expected. I have generally been much happier as a mum and now my children are much older doing chilled stuff, UK hols etc with DP and close friends.

You sound like a lovely mum and your DD and her DP sound like they are figuring out how to create a home etc for their baby, it's an exciting time for you all, enjoy it.

And as for the suggestions that mum should butt out, most of my friends have mums who are interested in these things for their children regardless of age, 20s, 30s, 40s when they have a baby etc.

I would certainly want to be a helpful nanna however old my children are, surely that's just part and parcel of being a family.

Because they have a kind of insurance system where how much you get in benefits depends on how much you’ve worked and earned previously. They don’t just hand out generous benefits to freeloaders or 20 year olds that decide to have a baby despite paying minimum taxes for a matter of months.