Family didn’t pay

[LonelyonThames]

I’m in the middle of a discussion with my DH about the events of his birthday meal last week.

I had booked a table for my DH, his sister, her husband, their DC and our parents. Everyone had a good time and towards the end of the meal I felt worried that it would be awkward to sit and divide the bill up between such a large group. I went over and paid discreetly.

To my surprise, upon leaving not a single person asked whether the meal had been paid for. I felt very taken aback that nobody even thanked me for paying for the whole meal, let alone asking if they could contribute. No discussion about money was had prior to the meal.

AIBU in expecting my DH’s sister and husband to have at least asked about payment? I can understand our parents not asking or paying but don’t understand why his sibling wouldn’t enquire about the cost?

OP is the boat something like the below..

https://uk.boats.com/power-boats/2009-nimbus-380-coupe-9211904/

because yes they are expensive and cost more than some people’s houses. A fortune to run too!

However the boat is irrelevant, social etiquette is to at least offer payment and then do that British thing of “let me get it”, “no this one is on me”, “oh really that’s so kind of you”. Especially if they have kids so they make up 50% of the bill just their family. They’ve been really rude.

You organised this and invited them, in the circs the expectation is that you will foot the bill. It would have been nice if others had offered to share the cost but I'm afraid it's down to you.
How would feel if someone invited you to a meal and at the end asked you to pay for yourself.

🤣 Hahaha

I don't know, I think it depends on the relationships as a whole. Sometimes amongst my closest family we don't thank each other for buying each other dinner! Sometimes - not always - it's just kind of a given. And that's where the difference between sister and sister in law kicks in perhaps? Maybe you don't really experience her as family? Or you're not used to footing the bill for the whole family... and neither is she so she didn't put much thought into it? Sometimes people get caught up in the evening.

Is this you?

Even if someone genuinely thought OP intended to pay and didnt want a fuss they should say thank you. Basic manners!