Really Annoyed This Morning ...

[MrsToriCostner]

Sorry guys, I just really need a rant!

SAHM here, two kids, almost 7, almost 2.

Got up this morning, came down, kitchen a mess from me cooking last night.

Presumed DH would have sorted it or at least filled the dishwasher and turned it on last night.

I do DHs packed lunch for work and shout up and ask him to bring any glasses/pots from upstairs meanwhile I've told DC1 to get dressed for school numerous times but they are not listening and still in pjs watching tv.

I go upstairs to get ready for the school run and find glasses/pots in DC1 bedroom, DH has taken the flat sheet off our bed and dumped it on the floor and left it there because DC2 leaked in the night apparently. His socks are dumped on the floor too, it's the same every morning, I find myself putting them in the wash basket myself.

DC1 is still not dressed and apparently can't find any socks despite multiple pairs been in the wardrobe.

So I'm shouting loud by now as we are going to be late and I'm taking 2 kids on the school run.

I don't know why I'm writing this, I just feel I could fall out with the world today 🙁

@Grammarnut

yeah but you get moneyyyyyy when you go to work

I went from South Wales to London and until I met DH’s parents (aged 23) I’d never heard it. Had I not met him/them I assume I wouldn’t have heard it (my dad is from the Potteries and never used it). The Midlands are a lot closer to Manchester/Yorkshire than Cardiff is!

(I wouldn’t expect you to know local Welsh dialect so it’s not strange that I hadn’t heard about “pots” before meeting PIL.)

It’s clearly blowing some people’s minds that some couples don’t cook and eat together every night lol

Or that some people don't meal plan all their meals in advance

I just buy stuff I know I like and make what I fancy each night. If I'm not going to eat something before it goes off then it gets chucked in the freezer for another day.

I don't want to derail completely so this will be my last post

Pots and pans is universal. It means...pots and pans. Things you make soup in and heat up beans

What's not universal is to call dishes pots. It's really not. It's strange to those of us who don't use that dialect/colloqualism.

I'm not sure why people aren't understanding that not everyone uses the same expressions as they do

I've learned something from this thread - but I'll continue to "do the dishes"

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos you are really projecting here. The thread is not about you and your partner and routine, but about the OP.

I am another who has never heard of the term ‘pots’ to mean all eating, drinking and cooking utensils.

@DropDeadFreida you're projecting. You speak of all men/husbands/fathers with a disdain that you maybe even can't see.

Don’t you come back home after the school run? Sort the sheets and dishes then? I assume your husband is away to work!

It's obvious from the context what the op meant by pots. The proper response is to think "That's interesting- I haven't heard that usage before. Now what can I say that might help the OP?"

Not entirely. As I said I'd heard of it once before in relation to general washing-up. I didn't realise could mean just glasses and cups. There's a difference between dirty plates and cutlery being left in bedrooms and just drinking vessels.

Have you not heard the expression pots and pans?

Yes, pots and pans meaning, well, pots and pans. Not meaning all items of cutlery, glasses etc. Nobody is saying they haven't heard of pots and pans, they're saying they haven't heard it to mean more than pots and pans.

I first heard of washing the pots on Teen Mum UK and was confused. Then here. Nowhere else.

Precisely!

In many parts of the country, "pots and pans" literally means "pots and pans" - as in, the metal pots and pans you use to cook food in. It doesn't mean plates, cups, glasses, crockery etc.

All this arguing over the phrase 'pots and pans'. Surely it's not a huge leap to work out that the OP means crockery and cutlery and it's just an expression?
Too much focus on this instead of helping her to come to a resolution with her husband.

Didn’t realise ‘pots’ was a dialect thing. People get employed as pot washer is pubs and restaurants and we use the word a lot. Oh and pubs employ a pot collector - meaning they collect the glasses. I’m NE but also used when lived NW.

misses point of thread

I actually agree.

But she didn't, she meant just glasses apparently!

I'm sure I'll get blasted for this but as a SAHM would it not be reasonable to collect the pots from around the house and make husbands lunch for him? I know that's what I'd do. I work but still do this. Child watching tv? Then don't allow tv on a school morning, we just have the radio on in the morning. You're the adult, your rules. If you don't incorporate them then you can't really complain.

Please don’t take this the wrong way bc I genuinely feel your pain and it’s utterly shit when you’re lumbered with everything and nobody is complying/helping/or even aware. BUT you do sound a bit passive aggressive. You are capable of getting your needs met you need to assert yourself more. Look your husband in the eye and say. I need to to pull your weight around here, it’s disrespectful leaving your dirty socks on the floor for me to pick up, I don’t want to have to do it again and if you ignore me then we’re going to have a much bigger problem. If your kids don’t respond to being asked to get dressed the first time, be proactive. Go over and stand in front to of the TV and ask again directly and assertively and turn the tv off. If they don’t go, take then by the hand and lead them upstairs to get dressed. They’re still little so probably need more direction/assistance but if you’re expending that energy feeling frustrated and saying the same time over and over why not just focus on getting actual stuff done.
it sounds like your husband is a 3rd child so maybe you need to treat him like one. Give him a clear choice and set your expectations. Say to him, do you want to make the lunches or get the kids dressed? You need to do one of those things now.

Rules need to be put in place, I don't cook but I clean as well as husband and we share the other jobs in the house from washing clothes to hoovering. Our teens empty the dishwasher and will be responsible now moving to clean their rooms

Yr a sahm so it’s yr job, go back to work and do 50/50 on the housework.

Helpful.
its not a competition.

Why allow TV before your DC1 is up, dressed, had breakfast and ready for school? And tell DH to stack the dishwasher every night and put a load of washing on every morning. And why are you all shouting at each other? No one wants to listen to someone shouting.