To feel annoyed that those on UC have more disposable income

[nappyvalley2024]

Myself and DH both work full time and have one child in nursery that we are paying for. We have a household income of just under £100k. After taxes, mortgage, student loan, NI, pension deductions and bills we are not actually left with a huge amount of disposable income. We are in the south east.

Brother in law and his partner have just had their first baby and announced that SIL will not be returning to work for at least 3 years. BIL earns roughly £30k and they live in social housing (lucky them). They will get around £900 a month in UC + no childcare bill.

So whilst we are running around like headless chickens trying to keep on top of things and juggle professional jobs, house renovations and parenting. My SIL will have the pleasure of sitting at home with no stress enjoying her baby. (SIL is known to be very lazy and also took the whole of her pregnancy off sick due to anxiety.)

At this point I just feel so deflated, and am wondering what the point is of working hard and being self sufficient. Funny thing is in laws think we are the lucky ones, when I don't actually think we are here. The system needs to change as there is no incentive to work.

I had a similar household income to you as a lone parent, so I had less take home pay due to the personal allowance etc. I was living in zone 1 with one child in nursery. How much juggling can there possibly be to collect and drop off one child from nursery?

How are you hard up? I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have spare money who can afford to fund renovations on their home.

Well, then, you’ll have to live with being jealous because I’m afraid it’s sounds like they’re the exception to a rule.

@Mambo19866 Nope, it's all changed now. We get a reduction but we still have to pay council tax. As I said, I cannot get an NHS dentist so I pay the same prices as you do. I don't use BT and am contracted with another company. You made it sound like you automatically get a discount no matter what provider you are with. As far as I am aware, my LA won't pay towards a mortgage, only if renting.

It's not all peoples nature, just jealous and bitter people who should perhaps be grateful for what they have got

It is hard at times when you know people who are on UC are out nearly every single weekend or going away as plenty of disposable income.
However at same time I know one mum who got stuck had plenty always out then when her child left school most of her benefits stopped and was struggling for money.

Just admit you don't like her I kind of hope she does see this because the way you're writing about her is horrible

You clearly don't understand mental illness. Yes, it definitely can be enough to stop someone working an entire pregnancy. Years even.

You think suffering ill health, ill health which could have a negative impact on their baby is convenient? So if you became too unwell to work would you also find that convenient?

I get uc as me and DP earn about 24K combined. I would rather be in your position any day OP and the sad truth is, I probably never will be

I've been unable to work most of my adult life due to anxiety. Pregnancy can exacerbate anxiety.

Would you be happier if they were really struggling, OP?

@Mambo19866 Do you know how to have a conversation without being rude?

If you were, would you?

If not- why would you pass up that golden opportunity?

Let’s bear in mind you’re the one suggesting significant political changes off the back of the fact the two adults in your house find it a bit stressful to take your one kid to and from nursery at the same time as you’re doing your house up.

Juggling:
Full time job x2. + working in evenings
Social commitments
Appointments
Workmen/quotes - people constantly coming in and out the house.
Child's play dates and weekend activities
Washing
Cleaning
Food shopping
Keeping on top of life admin - friends and relatives birthdays, baby showers, weddings etc.
bedtime routine

I literally don't have time to breathe from 7am until 23.00

But they don't own it. I think this is the crux of it, you're jealous they live I'm a naice place and you don't? I'm also assuming you have a nicer house than theirs? Why don't you downsize and move there too? You have more options I'm sure, but you want to do all the things you want to do (which is fine) but then complain about it too. Choices OP, we all have them.

Comparison is the thief of joy. It sounds like you could use some help budgeting. I don’t mean that unkindly. I benefited from a spreadsheet and a couple of different apps when we upsized.

Having checked your right about council tax but if you are in a 1 bed the reduction will cover the full bill so that’s why I got confused. But you definately can get housing allowance towards mortgage. That’s why if your renting a social house and you inherit a large amount that will take you out of the Uc savings allowance there is a grace period to use inheritance to buy a house without it effecting your claim. I know someone who this exactly happened and is still allowed to claim as long as house is worth 200k or less.

So what's your complaint then. Sounds like your jealous and bitter.
If you gave up your job to claim benefits you would be frowned upon by the DSS

Your list is just ordinary life admin and yes, if you can afford renovations, you're not hard up.

If you feel you don't have time to breathe you need to take stock and make changes. You are making choices. If the grass is greener on the other side, see what you can do it make your side greener too.

@nappyvalley2024 But a lot of that is through choice. You could get rid of quite a bit and have more time.

Working in evenings - not necessary.
Social commitments - not necessary.
Workmen/quotes - not necessary.
Weekend activities - not necessary.
Birthdays, baby showers and weddings - not necessary.

I couldn't imagine being jealous of someone on UC with nearly a combined income of £100k. Give yourself a shake.

@Mambo19866 Fair enough, it's just not something I've ever heard of but then again, I've never owned a house so not had to look into it. Maybe it's changed over the years.

And while I'm here, @nappyvalley2024 your thread title is yet another of the wanky ones that litter MN where the OP castigates/blames a group of people when it's all about one person.

Yep, and definitely don't have another kid!