Found out man am dating was previously arrested

[wishingyouwell]

He told me he was arrested due to false allegation of violence from ex partner. Said was released without charge. No way of finding out other side of story.
Would you continue relationship and hope for best or pull out? Early in relationship.

Yes just dating, he was keen to move the relationship forward, I haven't been.

I will do the text thing when he has time off work. Today has been a slow fade I guess I haven't reached out at all etc.

As for the mental health I know what you all mean about manipulation but I can tell he has been depressed especially and have seen his medication.
Nevertheless as many of you say as sad as it is I'm not the one to help with this. I have tried to help him while dating but it isn't my profession either so I am not the best person to support with this anyhow.

In the interests of balance, maybe he is innocent but he’s worried you might find out somehow so is being upfront with you? Do you trust your gut instinct and what it is saying to you? It’s right to be cautious, but maybe explore it more with him, and why he told you. If he has made you feel uncomfortable at all, lost his temper, belittled you etc then it might be best to ditch him.

My ex was abusive ( still is). He was arrested and charges dropped.

He is the most nasty, vindictive person I’ve ever met.

Told everyone I made false allegations and his fan club believe him. 🙄

When we attended mediation the mediator suggested that he thought he was still in love with me- my nasty ex went on about what an amazing person I was ( though immediately before said I was unfit to parent, was questioning my sanity, threatening to take my kids away etc etc)

And I know some pps say that some women are just as bad. Yes- it is possible that she is lying and he is telling the truth.

But I’d say there was a 90% chance he was abusive.

I’d never take that risk having been through what I’ve been through.

The everyone thinks he's amazing is pretty common later on it turns to we couldn't believe he hit her until.....

Run

My ex got away with a serious SA. Violence in front of witnesses too.

There is a reason 96% of defendants in dv cases are male. Lack of a conviction does not mean innocent.

if the man voluntarily told you and didn’t attempt to hide it then surely he thinks enough of you to trust you with this devastating allegation early on

all too often we’re quick to judge

he could simply have said nothing and that WOULD HAVE been very sad

talk to him, his friends and family.
unfortunately people DO make false allegations

to get get at someone, for attention or even financial compensation

it’s a slap in the face for real victims

Not at all my ex tells people all about his arrests but the embellishments are the key so he was arrested for SA on a minor (true) because her mom forced her to say it and I was found innocent (untrue) he was arrested for rape of his then fiance (true) she made it up because I was getting back with my ex wife and she was jealous about it and the charges were proved false (REALLY untrue) now it IS true that those arrests were NFA but he was never found innocent in fact in both cases he should have been found guilty for witness intimidation (or whatever its called) basically he is fucking scary dangerous person who gets away with a lot the only people to have success in court against him is the DVLA can't intimate them

Curiously the one where he told everyone including the police he was getting back with his ex wife no-one (including the police) actually thought to ask her if it was true they just proceed as if he is being truthful and don't check his story at all the one who made the allegations was a known alcoholic and a criminal though so not what you call a sympathetic victim in the eyes of the law basically they didn't care

There is a huge amount that needs doing re arrests for allegations.

A friend took his own life 2 years ago because of blatant false allegations.
A LARGE number of us KNEW he was innocent and even his own children from a previous marriage and their Mother contacted the investigating officer.

his most recent ex and her family hounded him to the grave.

yes we know a lot of men DO sexually assault but there is still that small percentage who don’t

we also discovered via extensive research that false accusers practically NEVER have any comeback and zero consequences.

for the benefit of EVERYONE the system needs an urgent review .