Found out man am dating was previously arrested

[wishingyouwell]

He told me he was arrested due to false allegation of violence from ex partner. Said was released without charge. No way of finding out other side of story.
Would you continue relationship and hope for best or pull out? Early in relationship.

My ex made a false claim against me to try and blacken my name for child proceedings.. Claimed I scratched his face. I went to the police station voluntarily and told them if he had entered my home unlawfully( as he had attempted) I would have infact used a pan not a fingernail.... No charges made.

Sometimes it IS false. I know someone who was accused of rape and he was arrested. It was awful for him. She was in the middle of leaving him for another man and admitted it all in the end. Women can be just as shitty as men sometimes.

There are plenty of men out there. For your own safety, just chuck this one and move on. It’s too dangerous a risk to take. I forgave a guy for standing me up but this is another level.

False allegations my arse.
What he means it that there wasn't enough evidence to move forwards.

Run a fucking million miles.

From someone who's watched a rapist get away with all sorts - in a courtroom.
All they need to say is they didn't do it!
Make out that the victim is "mental".
Same old, same old.

I'd dump him and I wouldn't say it's because of the violence allegation. I'd make something plausible up. Otherwise you might see that violence.

@Thehamsterthatcametotea the police officer told me that upon inquiry as I saw it on a document online - it's a low possibility and I don't wish to put anyone else off doing this

He's not called Michael is he?

We were chatting generally and the subject of police came up so I asked him if he had ever been arrested (as you do!) I had asked him previously on phone and he denied it but in person he looked away and then admitted it and proceeded to explain how was false allegation etc...

No!

Please RUN! Forget the Clare’s law business. The fact that you even have to do that just says that this is too much hassle! Please do not get involved with this man!

I'm really sorry to read that. I hope you have recovered okay.

I'm not sure that's true about the police contacting his ex partner as a disclosure just tells you the police have a record of complaints made, arrests, convictions etc. The disclosure wouldn't name the victim(s).

On all honesty I'd just walk away. You're only dating at this stage.

Yeah that's a big no

Run.

run and don’t look back.

It just sounds like a very familiar situation ....

My ex was "falsely arrested" by his ex falsely arrested with me "falsely arrested" with the fiance after me and even had his latest arrested because he accused her of DV

we can't all be crazy exes and partners

That's awful

Yes it's rare but an outside possibility apparently I don't even understand why that is necessary

Sometimes it is false though! Not DV related but DPs ex stills bangs on about how much of a narcissist and awful person he is over social media and the apparent trauma she suffered. I’ve not seen a hint of that in the 10 years we’ve been together now. He’s amazing!
Similarly a male relative has a non molestation order against him simply because the bitter ex thought it would mean she could keep the house when they split up. Luckily the judge saw through her bullshit. Obviously you need to be cautious but some women really are just as bad.
Is there any way you can find out through someone who knows him?

Run. Not worth giving the benefit of the doubt on this, imo.

Too much drama. Why take the risk. You will always wonder.

Even if it's all lies then he genuinely has a crazy ex who makes false accusations. I wouldn't want to be involved with her. Not that it's likely.

Everyone that knows him including colleagues sing his praises however I am aware no-one has the insight like a partner.
He doesn't trash talk his partner says he made mistakes etc and would do things differently going forward but was just looking for more insight about this arrest as v serious

Domestic abusers don't tend to beat their colleagues up OP

Think about every high profile case you’ve seen on Tv - how many times do the friends/neighbours/colleagues all say “He seemed so lovely/friendly/helpful/pillar of the community/amazing man” compared to how many times people say they knew he was a wrong un?

Logically yeah it's possible, of course some allegations must be false. statistically though I know what I'd bet on.

I would consider this a massive red flag and end it.