Asking employer to cover childcare costs

[Totupthenumberspls]

I’ve been asked to go on a business trip for a week, is it unreasonable to ask the company to pay the incremental childcare costs?

You can ask, but be aware that such requests will have consequences.

If I were your manager, I would not be impressed. This trip would save you food and travel costs whilst you were away. You would also benefit from networking with overseas colleagues/training and it would be something you could use in appraisals to show your commitment and interest in the job. Even if I did agree to covering the costs, I would probably not give you the opportunity again.

Don't then. Good luck in your career progression. And remember to never complain about the gender pay gap since you're part of the problem.

@RoseJam this trip is not a holiday, so don’t manage it one

@arethereanyleftatall theyll be a bigger pay gap if I just accept the childcare bill

You left a role without even asking if a small accommodation could be made?

Madness!

Not sure why you posted in AIBU. You clearly do not think you are being unreasonable and are arguing with people giving views you've invited them to give.

I wonder if the op and her dh switched jobs, if it would still be the latter job which wasn't flexible.
Seems to me from mn posts that there's a strangely far larger number of jobs performed by men whose jobs are completely inflexible.
Except they're not, just they've never asked because their relationship is stuck in the fifties believing the mother to be the default parent.

I don't know if anyone else has pointed this out, but IF your employer covered additional childcare costs to facilitate this event the cost to them would be a chargeable Benefit in Kind to you. You would pay tax at your highest rate on the total paid out.

You would not be allowed to successfully claim it as an expense for income tax purposes as it would not have been incurred in the performance of your duties.

So whatever happens there is going to be a cost to you.

Charge the additional expense to your husband, seeing as he is the reason you have children.

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask, It might be unreasonable to expect a resounding yes in reply.

In my experience business travel expenses are often way more than you actually spend - such as food, overnight expenses rate, travel etc so find out how much you are getting in expenses and I have no doubt some of what you "make" from expenses will just about cover childcare. As others have pointed out travel is in your contract so there is an expectation there that you may need from time to time travel with the job. The fact that you feel the trip is unnecessary is a completely different issue and chat again to your boss about that but don't mention childcare, keep on point, trip not needed and query why they feel you should go.
Overseas travel is a pain and disruption for the majority of working parents. I don't need to travel for my job but my dh does. He is normally in charge of school runs as I start work earlier, whenever he has to travel it means I have to drop kids to school so start work later (impacting my work) and very often have to stay later or work in the evenings to make up for it. I hate when he is away but he is in a good job with a great employer so we accept that this is the pay off.

OP if your dp works shifts, does that mean that you are then doing all the evenings and weekends that he works, in order for him to work? And when he isn't at work and you are, your dc are in childcare? So you have the dc when you are off and he works but he doesn't have the dc when he is off and you work?

If so, how can you think he shouldn't take on the childcare drops and collects and flexibility needed for two weeks? You've done it since becoming a parent.

So you are saying that only women pay for childcare?

I find you making a song and dance about a childcare bill, and not sucking it up and asking your husband to do his share of childcare, is one of the reasons there is a gender pay gap. You are such a stereotype that you can’t go on a trip because of childcare and costs.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Just ask and explain your position, and see what they say. This is why women often find themselves in difficult situations, as men tend to ask for various non-specific expenses and flexibility. You will receive one of two answers - either a yes or a no - or you may be able to negotiate another form of compensation.

if it's never in the contract that you are expected to go on trips but they are forcing you to go, then yes, they should pay. i agree with the comment above - ask anyway. It's unfair that women have to always ask for these things, it's not even a benefit, it's friggin childcare. you can't be out of pocket for the business.

This approach sets women back. Men would not demand childcare costs back

This. I travel all the time, my partner (not even their dad) picks up the slack, or their dad does, sometimes their step mum too. That's part of being a parent, you can't ask you employers to cover for normal parenting duties!!

100% this!!

Why should anyone - either parent - be put in a difficult position just so the employer can make more profit?? How does that make sense. Nope. Employer needs to pay childcare if your travel is not a normal thing for your job and they are forcing you to go.

Of course it's unreasonable to ask for childcare costs. It's part of your job - and you could count yourself lucky they haven't required you to travel before.

It will be hilarious if OP comes back and tells us the employer said yes 🤣

Pretty sure employees get paid! and often benefit through bonusses. share options from "the profit". Often salary scales reflect the role and would reflect the need to travel also. If not well that is a while other conversation people need to be having with their employers

Just because you work somewhere like that doesn't mean you stand for that. You aren't acting for women and equality.
You knew the terms of your contract decided to have a child and are now complaining about that contract.
If you try to ask for childcare they will just send someone else probably someone who doesn't have children and yet again people without children have to pick up the slack which won't look good for you or others who have children

It also causes people who are childfree either by choice or circumstances to hate people with children when the people with children get special treatment while they are forced to pick up the slack

I am in the process of applying for an Accessibility Grant from a professional society I am a member of.
The grant helps to cover costs associated with attending conferences.
I am a lone parent and the only way I can attend conferences is if someone is home to hold the fort for my teenage son. My adult son is coming home to do this, and the grant will cover his loss of earnings.

I may not be successful in which case I will have to shoulder the expense. I can do so this time, but certainly no more than once every couple of years or so.

Is something like that available to you?

It is not essential I go, but it definitely helps my professional development.

Oh OP, you just want to stir, clearly. You've no interest in any perspective on this.

You are NOT incurring extra costs for 'your employer's business' by doing your job and making the necessary personal arrangements. HTH.