To object to colleague calling me ‘mate’ all the time?

[Orangejuggler]

So expecting this to divide opinion, but it really winds me up when my colleague calls me ‘mate’!

I think it’s only used to create a false sense of camaraderie and friendship when there isn’t one.

I also think it triggers me because I think that the only people who use it with me are people I dislike or where there’s been a bit of tension. kind of similar to prefacing any comment ‘with all due respect…’

is it just me? Do people use it with people they like?

It ‘triggers’ you?!

If you don't like it, you don't like it. You just have to decide if this is a hill worth dying on.

My partner calls me mate, it's just the way he talks. Could be the same with your colleague

I wouldn't particularly like it either. If it winds you up you could ask them not to call you that.

I loathe it too @Orangejuggler.

It doesn't wind me up at all, and I work with loads of people who call me 'mate'. One of my favourite colleagues calls me that, and iquite like it. I really don't mind pet names, but know a lot of people hate them. I tend to call people 'young man' or 'lovey'. I am old enough to get away with this!

Would you prefer Your Ladyship?

I use it occasionally with a colleague (also a friend) that I like very much. In the 'you alright mate?' or 'Thanks [for the coffee] mate'. I also use her name, nickname, and sometimes surname, interchangeably.

Are you their senior?

Not my favourite way of addressing another person, but you are being OTT about it.

It's better than "love" or "hun" or "babe"! I'm particularly hating "bud/buddy" at the moment.

People all have their own patterns of speech- it's personal to them not you. It would only bother me if someone were treating me differently to everyone else.

I don't think it necessarily means they don't like you - it could be something they say to everyone. It's one of those things (like dear, darling, love, duckie etc etc) that might be specific to a place or person. It can mean nothing (just a replacement for their name) or it could be said in a condescending way.
You don't like it, so tell them you find it a bit weird and to call you by your own name.

Very lose and light hearted use of the word @Deathbyathousandcats - just read it as pisses me off or winds me up if you hate it…

or start a thread on why you hate the use of ‘triggering’ ? 🤷‍♀️

Yes! I would. Or orangejuggler

It’s a term of endearment. Hardly offensive!

Using the word "triggering" when you claim to be joking is unpleasant. And mocks people who are genuinely triggered by things.

I'm not one of them.

But I think you're being precious and overthinking the issue.

Mate.

I have just literally text my work colleague and called them mate.

Soz if it's you. I mean no offence. I won't do it again. 🫣

Looking back at teams messages to check how much I say mate 😬😬😬

YABU it’s a unisex friendly term.

Also handy if you’ve forgotten someone’s name.

Oh how I wish I had your problems OP.

Are you from a different area of the country to your colleague? Mate is super common here and I prefer it to hun or love.

Get a grip mate

sorry but you sound really difficult to work with and very easily offended.

I'd prefer mate, everyone seems to be calling me Hun lately, I actually feel like ripping my eyes and ears off.

You proved my point exactly.

and unfortunately for both of us, you can’t police use of language. It’s constantly evolving. Triggering is not a medical term and it’s in common usage.

I’ve been genuinely triggered by things and I can’t say I’m offended if someone uses it in a lighthearted manner.

you can hate it though. Though I’d say you were overthinking it…