To object to colleague calling me ‘mate’ all the time?

[Orangejuggler]

So expecting this to divide opinion, but it really winds me up when my colleague calls me ‘mate’!

I think it’s only used to create a false sense of camaraderie and friendship when there isn’t one.

I also think it triggers me because I think that the only people who use it with me are people I dislike or where there’s been a bit of tension. kind of similar to prefacing any comment ‘with all due respect…’

is it just me? Do people use it with people they like?

Hardly a term of endearment - greeting maybe

You are not alone😀...

I had a British Gas customer service representative refer to me as mate! He was a young man and I'm a woman over fifty!

Completely inappropriate and I tore a strip off him.

Ghastly way to refer to a woman.

And it was pretty much only used by Australians or New Zealanders (in Earl's court!)

It’s not offensive and of course people use it to people they like or are being friendly to. Where I come from it’s just like a non-sexist version of calling someone ‘love’ in a friendly context. I call people ‘mate’ all the time 🤣 Friends, small children, the bus driver when I’m saying thank you to them, someone I’m apologising to for bumping into… they’re all ‘mate’ to me.

I would call a colleague ‘mate’ only if they were also a colleague I considered a friend, or perhaps one who had just done me a massive favour.

If you don’t like it, tell your colleague not to do it.

This is nonsense. ‘Mate’ has been very normal for working class Londoners for centuries.

I don't hate it, but I don't use it. It's meant to be friendly, people get in the habit of using it, it's innocuous. I prefer it to buddy, that makes me feel like they've actually thought about it, it isn't part of everyday speech where I am.

No, 'pal' is just as bad- has an edge to it I think.

It's pet here.

Its endearing.

I think the reason I loathe words like 'mate', 'pal', guys', is because they are men's words and are becoming used by them and women so commonly and they exclude women. I have a name, or just look at me and I know you are speaking to me- don't call me 'mate', or 'pal' unless it's in 'fun', and I'm not a 'guy' so never call me that.

Oh, I do beg your pardon, Mr Dickens...

If you don't like it you are perfectly entitled to tell your colleague this. They are also entitled to think you're a bit weird based on this.

Surely for only man to man?

Babes is the one that gets to Me. Girl , hun ect doesn't bother me but babes grates on every single nerve 🤢

I also dislike it op. I dont like hun or love either. As I am not British by birth whenever I express this I get told (usually overly patiently) that I simply don't understand Brirish culture..

I've lived here 34 years in May. I have a really good understanding of British culture.

I still don't like mate, hun, love (and don't shorten my name either I don't like it)

It's nothing to do with my not understanding. dh is fully British he doesn't like it either yet for him it's OK for me its not understanding. No its dislike and a different viewpoint to those who do like it.

Within reason I will see through fingers with it. I do put a stop to shortening of my name. As it's MY name and I get to decide If I respond to "En" rather than Enko (and my real name is similarly short)

I have pulled people up on using hun, mate and love when it was used to put me down. But I see through fingers when I know its not intended that way.

If its someone I work closely with I will let them know in conversation I don't care for it. I then expext then to try to avoid it and if they slip up I don't comment. It's about being respectful to both sides.

I wouldn’t call anyone ‘mate’ and would just say to them that I would prefer that they didn’t call me ‘mate’.

Someone I work with refers to me as Miss Patter all the time. I have asked him to call me Pony, everyone calls me Pony (everyone who doesn't call me 'mate', that is 😉). He calls other people by their first names, but remains exceptionally formal with me. Its really quite weird. Maybe he just hates me!

Don't worry mate. There could be far worse things your colleagues could call you

also like so many things, it is about the tone and situation.

I'd go as far as to say that you shouldn't call colleagues with any pet names.

None of then offend me or anything. But I just don't like them. I just accept them but it just feels off in office environment. Outside of work it's 50/50. Sometimes being called 'love' is endearing but sometimes I feel like punching them in the face. All about the situstion, tone and mood.

YANBU to find it a bit irritating, but honestly I guarantee there's something you say all the time that others find irritating in some way so I would encourage you to try move past this in the hopes that others treat you and your annoying habits in the same way.

You would hate my husband's family. Everybody calls everyone mate. Married couples to each other, children to parents and grandparents, parents and grandparents to children, cousins, everybody. I found it odd at first but now find it strangely endearing. They definitely all love each other.

Outer East London/Essex border dweller here. I grew up in a similar suburb (1950s - 1970s) 3 miles away from where I live now. Both places with a lot of old Cockneys and their children and grandchildren living in them (I don't think there are any left in the East End now). They are the nicest people I have lived amongst (I have lived in other parts of London and abroad) - mostly kind, friendly and community spirited. They also have some great stories of growing up in the old East End. Mate is a term frequently used by both sexes to both men and women . It is indeed a friendly term and always has been and is sometimes used when trying to defuse disagreements between strangers. My lovely dogwalker/friend calls everyone mate or matey, dogs and humans alike.

That's fine if it's dialect and established but it isn't where I live in North-East England and I hate it.

I cannot believe, that in today’s world there are people who have nothing better to worry about than being called mate.