To object to colleague calling me ‘mate’ all the time?

[Orangejuggler]

So expecting this to divide opinion, but it really winds me up when my colleague calls me ‘mate’!

I think it’s only used to create a false sense of camaraderie and friendship when there isn’t one.

I also think it triggers me because I think that the only people who use it with me are people I dislike or where there’s been a bit of tension. kind of similar to prefacing any comment ‘with all due respect…’

is it just me? Do people use it with people they like?

Yes - I think you’ve articulated far better than I have. That’s exactly why it grinds my gears.

I don’t think I even notice it used by people I like!

Think I’m just going to refer to him as ‘sugar tits’ going forward.

I cannot believe that in today's world people have nothing better to do than post on a mumsnet thread about someone else's mild and lighthearted posts expressing irritation about the word mate.

When people start threads like this they are chewing the fat, not wailing and gnashing their teeth.

Why? I am sure 'please do not call me 'mate'' would have sufficed rather than tearing a strip off him.

Yeah very common here ( essex). It would'nt occur to me to be offended

And probably do in private if she is "triggered" by trivial things.

Is he Australian?

I believe the Australians inherited that from us. It's a London/Essex trait

One of my colleagues calls me "mate". He's male, I'm female, so it always sounds a bit odd (to me, mate is quite a masculine term).

I think it's quite sweet, actually! I'm certainly not going to get worked up about it.

I suppose everyone has their own pet peeves.

I have a colleague who calls me (and others) mate (he is male, I am female), and I don't mind it at all, I find it friendly.

I've also overheard my DH calling colleagues (particularly female) colleagues mate, and I don't know if this is just me but it strikes me as a non-sexist type of friendly term of affection it's acceptable for male colleagues to call female colleagues - ie I don't find it has any connotations of being condescending etc. Could be just me, and others hate it but personally I have no issue with it!

I'll add though that when said to someone you genuinely like and respect and get on well with most terms of affection are usually fine, but the same term used by someone you dislike will probably inevitably grate!

DH does this a lot. He can't remember anyone's name. Ever.

I visited Derbyshire recently, the taxi driver called me "duck" that was new and rather sweet if bemusing at the time.

I think you need to get over yourself unless the tone is aggressive or clearly meant sarcastically. Or you're a cleric / member of the royal family

I'm not 'triggered' by it but I don't like it, especially when it's strange men doing it. It feels like they are trying to friendzone me. I want to say, 'MATE, you've not NAE CHANCE'.

I honestly can’t work out how someone could ever ever care about something like this.
It’s quite worrying that this triggers you, mate.

Vicky McClure used it a lot in one of her roles. Just say if you don't like it. No biggy.

I bet you're fun at parties 🙄

Love this hahahaha

It was line of duty, Kate and Steve refer to each other as mate all the time.