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Original poster

Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

619 replies

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 30/01/2024 20:27

Hi, I don't know if neighbour is weird or if I'm just being silly?

I also don't have any children or huge experience with them. I asked a mom friend and think she is still laughing at me!!!

I don't know my neighbours well other than to wave and say hello in passing. I don't even know their names or they mine. I suspect they don't have family nearby.

This evening I get knock on the door. Male neighbour and his little girl. It's clear little girl (5/6) is a little upset. Mum is pregnant and due in 2 weeks and has been taken to hospital for observation. Don't have full story but iron & blood pressure issues.

The man has asked if I can do his daughter's hair every morning for school as he can't plait it. Little girl has gorgeous long hair she always wears in a plait. He can't plait it.

In awkwardness, I tried to show him how. I think he has bigger things on his mind as he didn't really want to learn, just wants me to do it. Anyway I have agreed to plait it every morning while mum is in hospital once his daughter is here at a certain time. What else could I say?

Is this normal and ok? Will the mum be ok with it? Should kids that age not be able to do it themselves? Could he not just put it in a ponytail?

Please tell me it's normal and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not usually awkward but this has thrown me for some reason. I don't know these people.

OP posts:
SouthLondonMum22 · 01/02/2024 19:47

Flamingos89 · 01/02/2024 19:43

Also I dont know why this is turning into a Dad bashing thread…. As women with mostly long hair we have been doing plaits and dealing with long hair since we were children! It would be a whole different world for a dad. Doesn’t make him a bad dad that he can’t do a plait

His daughter is 5-6 years old, not a baby. It shouldn't be a new world to him at this point. Depending on how long her hair is, he's had at least 1-2 years, maybe even longer to learn.

Moveoverdarlin · 01/02/2024 19:48

Thanks for the update. This is a really cute little story.

Pinkie89 · 01/02/2024 19:49

I think this is lovely and more people should help their neighbours or be able to ask for help when needed. I’d be flattered if I was asked to do something like this when a family was in need.

sleekcat · 01/02/2024 19:56

I don't think it's particularly weird. The little girl, who doesn't have her mum around for a couple of weeks and is probably upset about that, is having a meltdown because she always has plaits and Dad can't do them. To make her happy, Dad has decided to knock on your door even though it's a bit presumptuous, in a bid to placate her. It's not weird that she can't do her own hair, I certainly never could until I was a lot older.

somekittenmittens · 01/02/2024 19:56

I don't see the problem with it, or some pressing feminist issue. People are better at different things, in theory certain DIY is easy, and I can do alot of it but for some things when I was younger I would ask my next door neighbour for help with things and I doubt he was sitting there thinking about me burdening him with masculine standards, he was just my neighbour and was happy to help and in return I would dog sit for him sometimes. Some people just can't get their head around certain things, and it's fine to ask others for help. It makes for a nice relationship with your neighbours and he's obviously going through a difficult time and took a risk asking you for help for something for his daughter. He's not asking you to cook his tea or clean the toilet.

My grandad used to do awesome plaits (although very tight and he'd pull my head awfully) because of something to do with nets, I forget what it was now 😀

inappropriateportioncontrol · 01/02/2024 19:56

I've read all the OPs posts , not the whole thread , and they have made me so happy .
You sound like a lovely thoughtful kind person @ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees
and I love your user name !

Springforward19 · 01/02/2024 19:57

It sounds like he's possibly looking for an occasional babysitter & this is his way of introducing you to the family. 🤔

Heather37231 · 01/02/2024 19:57

Really nice outcome. I just read all your posts OP and I knew that you must be in a block of flats before you mentioned it in the second or third post. People in flats are a bit more comfortable with ringing neighbours’ bells than neighbours in streets I think. Maybe because you often pass in the lift or corridor and your story about the hair chat in the lift illustrates that.

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:01

Springforward19 · 01/02/2024 19:57

It sounds like he's possibly looking for an occasional babysitter & this is his way of introducing you to the family. 🤔

🤔 do you......

TheGreatestAtuin · 01/02/2024 20:04

OP you are lovely to do this.

I do personally think it's an extremely weird request though!

Singasongtime · 01/02/2024 20:05

It takes a village- thank you OP for reminding us of this.

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:05

@SouthLondonMum22 you do know that little girl so change how they want their hair...... last week it was ponytail, never a plait and this week .... plait! So I'm not sure you can be confident he has had months to practise?

Sunshines89 · 01/02/2024 20:11

It's weird but very sweet, neither of them will forget you doing that for them during a difficult time for them x

saffy2 · 01/02/2024 20:12

PurpleWhirple · 01/02/2024 19:36

It's actually men who are fucking awful.

The vast majority of critical posters have said they would do it for the sake of the child, but it doesn't excuse the helpless fuckwittery of the dad.

Show quote history

It’s taken me years to learn how
to plait my own hair and I still am
learning how to do my daughters, because it’s even harder on someone else’s hair. I really really really think people are being horrible for bitching about a man seeking help to get his daughters hair done when she wants it in a plait and his wife and baby are in hospital. I really don’t see that as helpless fuckwittery. At all. I do see those people calling it that as mean and nasty though.

Gonners · 01/02/2024 20:14

I think he was understandably stressed and asked you for help and you were kind and gave it. Well done everyone involved!

whatsupluckyducky · 01/02/2024 20:15

sounds like you’ve been a real help to the whole family. Ignore the negativity!

Castleview6 · 01/02/2024 20:16

It’s really lovely you’ve offered to help. Imagine that the little girl is upset that her mum’s in hospital and dads panicked about that as well. He must just want to help keep things normal for her. It’s really not that weird and you’re being a lovely neighbour.

Keychangeoff · 01/02/2024 20:16

Lazy cheeky fucker. Is there something wrong with his hands that means only female hands can plait his childs hair ?

Vendee23 · 01/02/2024 20:20

I don’t find this weird, I actually find it lovely dad was confident enough to come over and ask. He obviously wants to keep things ‘normal’ as such for daughter and if you can take 10 minutes out in a morning for a few days I think it’s a really nice thing to do. 😊

SouthLondonMum22 · 01/02/2024 20:21

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:05

@SouthLondonMum22 you do know that little girl so change how they want their hair...... last week it was ponytail, never a plait and this week .... plait! So I'm not sure you can be confident he has had months to practise?

From what OP has said, it sounds like a plait is pretty typical for her. Even if not, she is 5-6 and a plait is hardly an unusual hairstyle for a young girl.

katseyes7 · 01/02/2024 20:23

I'd do it. Poor man. It's one less thing for him to think about just now.
And the little one's upset and missing her mum. If she always has it in a plait, it's 'routine' for her while her mum's away.

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:25

@SouthLondonMum22 I can't do one! 🙌!

I'm therefore

Useless
Sexist
Embarrassing
Shameful
Disgraceful
Will assume if I ask for help that I'm trying to get my child babysat

Oh hang on, what asked for help with a plait that my DD says she doesn't like the way I do it, for just a few days...

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 20:27

Keychangeoff · 01/02/2024 20:16

Lazy cheeky fucker. Is there something wrong with his hands that means only female hands can plait his childs hair ?

How unkind....

Would you really turn away a simple 10 request for a neighbour that's having a tough time...

I'm so different to you, I'd be asking for anything else I could do to help... it's a short lived hospilisaton.

Orangebadger · 01/02/2024 20:29

Read through OPs updates. I think this is a lovely thread. Hope she likes her new hair accessories from her new friend. It's really sweet.

Teaismymiddlename · 01/02/2024 20:30

It's weird as fuck. He has hands I'm guessing so could have learned faster than knocking snd asking a neighbour.

He's being a lazy ass male and presuming as you have a uterus you must inherently know how to plait hair

I'd direct him to you tube and close the door