Partner crying

[gratitudegirl]

If you were sobbing in the sofa next to your partner and he just ignored you and continued to play on his Xbox without a simple 'are you okay' how would you feel? 😭😭

Yes he saw me crying. He just looked away. We've been together for 2 years. I've always supported him when he cried. I feel very lonely

That's awful. I hope you're ok

I mean this kindly. Get some therapy. Work through those childhood traumas. It's not a quick fix, some people stay in therapy for years. Consider it self care.

All of this - absolutely!

I think he could be kinder to you.

Honestly, I’m finding your replies irritating on this thread. Performative, martyrish, pass agg. I’m not proud of this, but I’m not sure that I would have asked if you were OK either. I mean, obviously you weren’t OK, but you weren’t using your words either. That would have driven me spare, and bought out the very worst in me.

i truly hope you get some rest, feel better, and get some therapy. Best of luck to you.

Because if you love someone surely you'd want to do everything you can to make sure they're okay and their clothes are clean, their dinners always ready, they have their morning coffee, they watch their favourite programmes, they play their games.

This isn't love OP. This is allowing someone to treat you like a doormat. Acting as someone's servant does not make them respect or love you.

You need to split up with him and get some decent therapy.

Do you have your own place?

This can’t be real

I hope you get some help. Because you need it. Please don't let another year pass you by being anyone's doormat.

You do realise there's no knight in shining armour coming to rescue you from this bloke? You need to rescue yourself. One foot in front of the other, out of the door. Off you go!

And don't get with any other blokes until you've had therapy & worked on your self esteem. Then you'll be in the right place to meet someone who will treat you right.

Good luck.

I’m really sorry you feel this way, it’s good you have insight into why you are like this as you can take steps to make things better for yourself 😊

From what you have said above, it sounds like this is a norm in your relationship and conversations to address it are a non-starter. So fundamentally, you have two choices. Accept things as they are and stay miserable. Trust me, he won’t change, he is who he is. Or you could gather all your strength and leave. The second option will be harder in the short term, but so much better for you in the long term.

Don’t continually compromise your own happiness and wellbeing for someone else’s, you only have one life and deserve to be happy and loved.

Thank you so much for that response. I've tried to self diagnose and had therapy when I was a lot younger where they effectively told me everything you said. I will try again. It's just hard because sometimes I feel strong enough too and sometimes I really don't. I don't know why I wish to be loved. I wouldn't even know what that was so it's silly. I hate that I come across so pathetic so I'm sorry but thank you so much. I'm glad you're in a better place! You're very strong xx

That's very helpful. Thank you. Also said in a fun way so that's very encouraging. Thank you!

I'm going to try I promise. I just always end up burying my head. It's so stupid. Thank you. I'll try xxx

Thank you! That's a really sweet reply and it means a lot

Do you have kids? A job? Why can’t you escape him?

What is love? I don't mean that question in a rude way I genuinely want to know. I clearly need to sort my head out and learn what's right and wrong. I should know this, I'm bloody 30! Feel so pathetic. The only place I could move is back with my parents but I really don't want to be around them either. The studio is mine but I can't just throw him out on the street so I don't know what to do c

Sadly it is. I've read a lot of these responses and I do see that I'm the problem. So thank you for your input

I'm going to tell it straight while trying not to be unkind.
You may genuinely not realise this if you've had a traumatic dysfunctional time but this is not normal.
This is not how adult relationships are supposed to work. At all.

"Because if you love someone surely you'd want to do everything you can to make sure they're okay and their clothes are clean, their dinners always ready, they have their morning coffee, they watch their favourite programmes, they play their games. I want my loved ones to be happy"

This is how I treat my toddler. She's 2, it's not even how I treat my teens as they need to learn indépendance. It's Absolutely not how I treat my husband.

Your relationship is not good.

You would likely benefit from therapy before entering another

Best advice on here. Dump his ungrateful ass and focus on trying to please yourself next, not some gaming vaping loser.

I think I'm just super worried that it is me who's the problem. Maybe I'm the reason I'm miserable. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe he is the best of the bunch and I'll regret leaving. I don't know. I don't have the logic to understand why I'm sos stupid when it comes to relationships.

Thank you for being so kind and supportive xx

You absolutely can and should throw him out. He is a grow man he will be perfectly fine lol

He lives at mine and he has nowhere else to go. I can't throw him out and in all honesty, I'd be too scared too. I don't want to cause problems. Although I can understand how I seem like a drama queen in these posts. I'm so sorry

Of course you can throw him out. It's your flat. Kick him out tonight and spend some time working on yourself.

You don't expect too much but your idea of a relationship is wrong. Not your fault but it is, unfortunately, you who needs to fix it. I recommend therapy (having been abused in childhood and in an abusive adult relationship I know what I'm talking about lol)

Can I please ask you what a normal relationship is like? Not in a rude way I promise I just genuinely want to know. I feel so dumb. I genuinely thought that the only way someone will love me is if I try and be 'perfect' and clearly it's not working. Today it just got too much