Is my friend BU with her will?

[Thunderfeelthethunder]

My friend has been sorting out her will and I think she’s being unreasonable about it.

She’s got three adult children. One of them has one child, another has three children, and the third adult doesn’t have kids (not through choice). She thinks it’s unlikely any of them will have more children in the future.

She plans to split whatever she’s got equally into seven, so each of her children and each of her grandchildren get an equal amount. Say it’s £10k each. That means the adult-child with three children will inherit so much more than the childless one.

If I were one of her children, I’d be upset by the perceived unfairness. Am I being overly sensitive to worry about the childless kid losing out?

Her money, her choice

I would politely mind your own business.

No offence intended.

That means the adult-child with three children will inherit so much more than the childless one.

She won’t though. She’ll inherit the same amount. Her children will also inherit the same amount - but that’s for them, not for her.

Yep. Nowt to do with you really.

I agree with you OP. Obviously it’s her decision, but as she has shared this information with you I think YANBU to comment that it seems surprising to you.

Not your problem.

Your friends DC won’t be getting more as it will be the grandchildren who inherit the other shares, they are people in their own right.

How do you work that out ? If it’s a seven way split everyone gets an equal share surely ? The money left to each child doesn’t belong to the parent so it how many children each parent has is irrelevant.

If this is her wishes that fine. Her kids won't get any extra or less money they will get their share, the rest will go to the grand children, and if she sadly dies while they are still young it will be held in trust for them until they are older, or is this not the case here?

As long as she tells her children, so they don’t find out after and end up feeling bitter towards one another or have falls outs or feel hurt and lash out etc.

When my uncle died intestate (so mum inherited) mum did a deed of variation, giving £40k to each of her children, and £10k to each grandchild. This meant my sister's family received £90k compared to my family's £60k, I really don't care.

I think it’s fair. They are all individuals so it’s not like one of her children is actually getting more. She clearly wants her grandchildren to receive something.

of course it’s not your business and I’m sure she has thought it through.

How is the childless one losing out? They will be getting the same as their siblings. In any case, no-one is owed an inheritance and it's none of your business.

This. The children are separate individuals, not part of their parent.

I agree in some ways, she should just share it with her3 kids n they can distribute it as they want.

What happens if she dies, and then one of her children has another child - that one will miss out if it has been divided into 7. Whereas the parent of the new kid can make equal shares in their will

Nobody is losing out.

The children are not the same person as their parent. They aren't an extension of them.

Each individual is getting a set and fair amount. An individual gift to each of her close family members.

And it's her money so she can leave it to Battersea dogs home if she likes.

"That means the adult-child with three children will inherit so much more than the childless one."

Are you saying that you believe they will steal their children's inheritance and spend it on themselves?

I’d just split it between my three children equally. If they want to pass it on, that’s up to them.
Don’t understand why it concerns you, though?

All adult children are receiving the same. The adult child who has children is just as hard done to as the one with no children if you're using that logic.

It isn't what I would do but it is her money, and her choice.
I can understand the thinking behind it.

Not really sure why your friend is discussing this with you.
It really isn't any of your business.

There is no one "fair" way
If she split it equally just between the children then the grandchildren would all get different amounts in the future and benefit differently now...and at somepoint the childless aunt/uncle may leave their own inheritance to be split between the neices and nephews.
I think your friend has done the sensible thing.

I think that my sister was a bit bitter that my Mum split our inheritance between us and my children. However my children, as adults used to clean my mum's house, stay overnight to care for her and we all took her out. My sister did very little. My children gave my Mum a lot of purpose. My GC do the same for me. It is totally her choice.

I personally think that the proportion of the inheritance that the grandchildren are getting should be divided equally between any existing grandchildren at time of death, just incase more are born before your friend dies and hadn't gotten around to updating her will.

This reminds me of a thread from years ago. When their parent was alive, the OP had two children and her sister didn’t have any. The parent died and had left each of the sisters a little something in the will, but the majority was left in trust to pay for the grandchildren to go to private school. The parent didn’t think the sister would have any children and felt the money was best used to privately educate the existing grandchildren. Years later; the sister did have kids and took the OP out to ask how much money was available to pay for private school for her children and how did she access it. The sister just assumed that some money would have been left for any imaginary future children and the OP was considering trying to find the money herself to pay for her sister’s kids to go to school. I don’t remember how it ended up, but it just shows that you really do need to talk to your family about your will and be clear on what it means.

You’re being unreasonable to think this is any of your business.