Inheritance threads seriously wind me up......

[EveryoneEnviesMeEverywhere]

These types of threads are on many forums and articles I've read

AIBU when I am clearly stating that that the person/s leaving their assets behind to whoever is entitled to do as they so wish, EG, give the money away to a charity, their dog, the cat next door, their best friend, only give some of their children their money/etc and or not equally divide it

When I hear and or read about cases going to court, often one sibling against the other, it makes me so angry

If a person/s has mental the capacity as defined in law to make a Will, surely it is their choice and should never be challenged.

A nephew of mine recently complained to me about my sister(his mum) and his dad's Will means he'd get a lot less as things stand. My nephew had moaned to his parents and they told him that he was well settled, had a good job/pay and also had rental properties. I politely tried to make him see sense that regardless of what his parents had told him, in my judgment it istheir choice. My nephew was not happy with what I said.

The above comes with a caveat where disabled dependents may be left out of a Will as that is more complex. However, on the whole, it is as above

AIBU to robustly support the freedom of the assets holder/s to leave money to whoever, whatever they choose and no court should have the right to overturn this.

Surely it depends on the issue? There is an inheritance issue in my fiancés family at the moment and it may result in us threatening court, but it would be justified.

Sure. But people also need to be aware of the impact of unfairness / inequality in a will on those left behind. It’s all very well for the deceased, they’re essentially washing their hands of the upset that’s going to ensue and checking out. It’s pretty shortsighted to deliberately leave a legacy of bitterness and damaged relationships between your heirs because one or more feels they’ve been disfavoured or that the will reflects the relationship they had with the deceased, especially if they’re your children.

Courts can only overturn wills in line with the law, which is clear. If people opt to make their will disregarding this, that doesn’t mean the law shouldn’t apply.

Many people are mercenary twats unfortunately.

Sometimes the best threads are the ones you don’t agree with. Surely that the main point of these discussion threads. If everyone agreed there would be no debate.

Exactly this.

And also, it's kind of a bit crushing to work hard and then have the effects balanced out by an imbalanced inheritance (I am guessing , I am the least well off out of my siblings and also never planned on inheriting anything so if I do it will be a bonus, I would rather my parents enjoy their money)

Don’t read them then?

Parents playing favourites is pretty nasty IMO. There has to be a very good reason to not split it equally between children (if you're giving it to children). One person needing it more than the other isn't necessarily a good reason if all children have been given equal opportunities by parents. What if one's worked really hard and the other hasn't bothered? Do you just reward the lazy one?

I do know someone who is one of five and knows she's one of the four getting nothing because the fifth has a learning disability and is unable to live independently so everything is going to them. The other four are fully supportive of this.

FWIW I'm disabled and have had a lot of financial help from my parents over the years because of it,(they bought me a WAV for example). They just give the same amount to my sister, who spent hers on a nice kitchen. She did initially refuse to take it, but eventually came round.

Yes people are entitled to leave things to who they wish but people are also entitled to be upset by it especially if it was done unfairly with the deceased person's children.

I agree that people should be able to do what like. But I also think parents should be fair to their offspring and I don’t know if that is what your nephew is complaining about. I don’t believe in punishing people for doing well.

This.

Such a simple solution

People are absolutely allowed to leave this inheritance as they see fit. According to mumsnet though thr only acceptable way to divide a estate is evenly even if one child is a multi millionaire and the other struggling to feed themselves. Also grandchildren are a subset of their parents and can't receive an inheritance in their own right. The onus is on their parents to split there's.
Real life can often be more complicated than that.

People can leave whatever they want to whoever they choose.

However a lot of families have perceived fairness issues and I can understand that.

My parents and PIL have all massively funded less successful siblings, think houses/cars/FT childcare etc, whereas I received nothing due to their view that I didn’t need anything.

I suspect this will continue at the point of inheritance. I don’t think it’s fair but I also don’t spend any time getting worked up about it. I can look after myself and my family.

Every case is different because every family is different. Very few end up in court because hardly anybody has the money to do that. Some may end up in mediation, which is cheaper.

Nobody has a right to inherit anything, but I don't think it's an unrealistic assumption in most families that if there is anything to inherit it should be divided fairly between the deceased's nearest and dearest.

The really unfair ones are where something like this happens.

A and B are married for a long time. They buy a house and build up savings. A dies. B marries C. A few years later B dies, having either made no will or made a will leaving everything to C - same result, C gets everything, the children of the first marriage get nothing. In due course C's children inherit assets built up by A and B.

I don't think it's surprising in the slightest that the children of the first marriage would be extremely upset in those circumstances. It's not just about the money, it's about the lack of thought and the realisation that they weren't as important to B as C, who was only in B's life for a short time.

There seems to be an influx of inheritance threads over the last couple of months?

But YANBU OP, there are some very grabby people on here who are arguing over money before the body's even cold.

I find the threads fascinating. The sheer entitlement sometimes. Ultimately no one is entitled to anyone’s money and no one is obligated to give anyone anything. I’ve known people IRL who are planning what to do with their inheritance while their mum and dad are still fit and well. Lovely if people want to pass money along, but baffling to think you’re entitled to anyone’s money for any reason, and to plan spending it before it’s yours!!

(edited to clarify this doesn’t apply to legal battles when it is clear someone is behaving illegally or someone has been illegally omitted)

I’m so glad I have an only child.

Just share your money equally between your children . It’s not complicated.

Within the law, everyone has the right to do whatever they want. It doesn’t mean that won’t lead to upsetting others.

My parents are having a merry time spending as much of their money as possible on holidays. Good for them! However if they left me out of their will in favour of my siblings I’d feel pretty sad and like they loved me less. They have a perfect right to do so though if they choose.

Under French law you cannot disinherit your dc. Job done.

Oh and the amount of people who use wills/inheritance as a threat. Oh she didn’t come to my birthday she’s out the will. Ffs maybe strive to be more to people than a walking piggy bank.

@Crazycrazylady My parents want to give a cash lump sum to the grandchildren before dividing the remainder of the estate equally between their children. That's what their will states. Is this not possible?

AIBU when I am clearly stating that that the person/s leaving their assets behind to whoever is entitled to do as they so wish,

Whether you're unreasonable or not is in many ways broadly irrelevant, when you're possibly incorrect as to the law. To my knowledge, there's a greater range of testamentary freedom in England, so you might be able to do that there, but in Scotland, if you're married or you have a child, your spouse and your child have rights to your estate. You cannot write a will giving everything to your sister/niece/aunt/university.

The greatest freedom you have in disposing of your possessions is when you're alive (and even that may have tax implications or have consequences for the subsequent division of your estate). For what it's worth, I don't think it's ideal, but on the basic principle, I support the Scottish system. I do think that your children have a right to inherit from you.

I do agree that the person who made the will is completely entitled to leave THEIR money to whomever they wish. My Mum and her sister had to go to court over my GD's will as he left my Mum more money than my Auntie (my Auntie went no contact with him for the last 10 years of his life with no explanation) so I think she was lucky to have even been in it!!!
However on the other hand I can understand under some circumstances with siblings why it might be extremely hurtful for one sibling to get left more than the other. But ultimately, it's the person who's died decision!

My father said that to me when I told him I wanted my child to have my partners surname and not mine.