Sister won’t commit to booking holiday because of “threat of war”

[Posypointshoes]

I’m an anxious person. I worry a LOT especially about the way things are in the world at the moment. I can see how it can feel like things are pressing in on all sides.

however we have a special family birthday coming up and we are all supposed to be booking a special holiday abroad for it. It’s been in the works for a while we’ve sorted all the arrangements and now when it’s time to actually book my sister is saying she won’t commit because we just don’t know what’s going to happen with the world.
she’s panicking about war breaking out if we were on holiday and then what would we do?

as I said I am an anxious person. I’ve had some dark and scary thoughts about possibilities and what we could be facing but this just seems mad to me? Our parents are upset as it’s their occasion and now she’s the only one not going.

its also making me alarmed that she’s struggling with her mental health maybe more so than she’s letting on, if that seems like a logical reason not to book a holiday? She’s also stopped making plans further than a few weeks ahead as well. I don’t really know what to do about it, if it’s my place to try and how to approach it.

We were supposed to be going to Jordan at Easter and have now cancelled but am in the middle of booking a few breaks in Europe (Italy and Greece).

Time for medications...

If you're close to her then maybe you can have a chat and talk through her worries but it sounds like she's being irrationally concerned and could have some other anxieties. Would she be open to talking to her doctor?

We recently flew back from the U.K. to Aus and normally I am totally sang froid about things like war, but I didn’t want to stop in the Middle East this time, even though I was sure it would be fine. I also chose a carrier that felt very “neutral” (Cathay) - although saying that, there was a plan foiled years ago to blow up Etihad planes so who knows.
Anyway, I would feel fine about Greece - they aren’t a target for anything and if there was a war (extremely unlikely), it wouldn’t be the worst place to be stuck for a while.

This threat could rumble on for years and I’m not prepared to change my life significantly over what I read in the paper.

Try and get her to book it because whatever happens it is best to suffer it all together, as a family. You will all watch out for each other

Not that wacky tbh. Britain keeps sticking it's chubby fingers in all the recent major conflicts. I don't think a war here is a given, but it's entirely possible.

In your position I would be less worried about a holiday, and more concerned for her welfare. Can you offer to go to the GP with her? Her anxiety seems out of control.

We are going to the Middle East next week. Some friction is to be expected given the situation but we are not overlay concerned at all. The difficulties in the ME are long standing of over several decades.

I’d be checking how she is feeling and if it sounds appropriate, gently suggest a GP visit.

DP and his family are quite anxious and overcautious. Usually, to manage it I leave them to it and will go and do as I please. The only problem is they like to lecture so there have been a few occasions where I’ve had to end the conversation.

Holiday to Yemen 🤣

How confident are you the reason she has given is the genuine reason? Could she be struggling for money and not wanting to admit it? Or some other reason entirely?

The reason she has given for not booking a holiday to Greece is ridiculous, because we are likely to be on the brink of WW3 for years to come. If it is her genuine reason, as others have said, her mental health needs checking.

Is she attention seeking?

On the upside, if there is a war, losing a holiday will be the least of your worries!
Just book the bloody thing.

You're being unreasonable. If she is scared war might break out while you're on holiday and as a result doesn't want to go then go without her. Don't try to change her mind just ask her one more time. Be understanding of her fears, you don't have to agree with them, you can think its ridiculous if you like, but don't try and change her mind.

That doesn’t really help her sister though does it. Clearly if someone is so anxious, they will need more support than simply ‘understanding her fears’

And for those that choose to wear blinkers good luck with that. Doesn't even take an hour before the world's scene changes. It's funny a whole group in our town were talking of the world events that can literally change within hours and if you really think you can remain un touched then carry on. No war in Britain? Hmmm we shall see, there not preparing bigger armies for nothing. I would rather have some preparation in mind for my family than ignore and hope for the best when something does break out. Perfectly valid reason your sister and tbh you may look back one day soon an say damn she was right instead of blaming mental health and playing at life is a party yourself

I'd guess she doesn't want to go, for whatever random other reason that she doesn't want to say, and is inventing this one.

There's not a lot OP can do though. Not until they accept she's not going on this holiday and stop talking to her about it. Only then will she even begin to trust they aren't just thinking about their holiday.

Indulging other people's anxieties can be dangerous. My grandmother remembers a story in the papers about a mother who killed her children because of the threat of nuclear war. She remembers those children often as they were a similar age to my mum and uncle.

I would be very concerned about your sister's mental health if she thinks war is so imminent that she can't plan for the future.

Would your sister go somewhere else OP? While she is being OTT, I recently decided not to go to Cyprus for similar reasons - the foreign office recommends caution.

Could you not all go to Spain or Italy or France?

My thoughts exactly. She's trying to pull the focus from your parents.

If I was the anxious type I'd avoid Cyprus, Turkey and anywhere in the Middle East or around the Black Sea.. . Possibly North Africa. Anywhere else, no

But we’re not ‘preparing bigger armies’. The whole furore was caused by the press and media hype concerning the outgoing general who was warning that because of successive cuts to the defence budget, the UK was not properly prepared for war, and that if something wasn’t done, we would probably need conscription if war came. Since then SM seems to have decided that war is imminent and threads have popped up on MN talking about Russians invading, when in reality nothing is any different than before the story broke.

I'd be more traumatised by the thought of an entire family having to fork out for an abroad holiday just for a birthday. No day of birth is that special
But, please don't force your sister to go. She has real concerns; she and her OH will have to find a way of managing this, and family piling on stress telling her she is being stupid won't help

LMAO. I thought it would at least be Poland, Pakistan or somewhere with some possible risk of war breaking out.

Who does she think is invading Greece?

I think her concerns are valid.