Be honest - would you send DC private if you could?

[Naptrappedmummy]

If your DC is at a state school and you were offered free places for them at the local indie, would you accept? If so, why? If not, why not?

YANBU - Yes I would send them private
YABU - No I wouldn’t send them private

Me - yes I would, in a heartbeat (DD at state primary).

Primary no, would not want to change from current village school. Secondary probably.

No, absolutely not.

They are happy at a state comp just down the road, have friends on the bus and walking distance for meeting up/gaining independence, have lots of extra curricular opportunities and mix with a wide variety of DC from very broad range of backgrounds and can see for themselves how advantaged they are. I would hate for them to feel in any way hard done by or as if they were missing out if they were the 'poor ones'. It would be frankly gross for them to have that misconception.

They do a sport outside of school where m ay children there attend a local, large, well known, v expensive private school and in the words of DD, "most of the boys have an attitude problem." I see the way they speak to the coaches and their parents and have no desire for my DC to spend more time around them, particularly not in an unstructured setting.

Our friend's ds has been horribly bullied as part of a sports team at his private school and the school have been hopeless at dealing with it. She had to withdraw him from a residential as he was so worried no one would look out for him.

I'm sure there may be some private schools I would wish I could afford but I haven't seen them near me.

As someone who went to private school, as did all my family, I was not overly keen for my DC to go. I am actually envious of what my DC education looks like - a really local experience, feet firmly on the ground, part of their community etc.

I tried it with one of my children. He hated it and wasn't doing particularly well despite being considered very bright. The children were fairly dreadful. He transferred to a local state school. He had to have tutoring in maths to catch up after over a year there! He made long term friends at the state school. He is a fifth year medical student so I think the school did well for him. It was a school in a well to do area though and the children were often the children of professionals of various sorts.

Absolutely not. In fact I have recently joined the 93% Club (which is about tackling the gap that while only 7% of children have a private education, they equate for 40-50% of senior roles in industry, journalism and politics).

It has been set up by a very inspiring young lady with the aim of removing the barriers of social mobility and as someone who has went through that journey with a lot of hard work, some luck but definitely judgement once backgrounds are discussed, it can’t come quick enough

@Theatrefan12 can you tell me more?

I am trying to do my bit by ensuring we offer work experience to people based on applications not family connections (shouldn't be radical but sadly is still!)

No. I prefer them to mix with ordinary people from the local area with a mix of backgrounds.

A ‘free’ place was handed to us and we took it. My daughter is very happy there and looking forward to GCSEs soon.

Not sure if I can posts links here so just search for 93% club on Google or follow them on LinkedIn.

Purpose of it is to show people from all backgrounds that they can succeed in all industries, even ones that would be traditionally closed to people from certain backgrounds and get those that are in those jobs now to help open doors for others. Not necessarily about offering jobs but through mentoring or speaking about their experience

Funnily enough I spoke to a friend who was privately educated about social mobility once and was told that all that is is reversed snobbery which summed it up for me

No, because I'm strongly against private education in principle, and I wouldn't want their peer group to be only made up of privileged wealthy people.

Ditto.

I've thought of this dilemma for my SEN DC, like if we won the lottery would we move them?

The nearest big one still has quite large classes and maybe wouldn't help his SEN very well. He does get extra support at his state school but it seems quite ineffective.

There is a small private that would probably suit him (non selective) but it's a 20 min drive and I'd worry it might shut down in the future because I don't know how it survives as it is.

Only in England as people are so fixated on class and status, I don't think I'd bother in any other part of the world

No, Id get an amazing house in an area with an amazing state primary and secondary school.
I saw an edit if we were offered a private place for free, then yes. But I dont think anything done in an independent school warrants the fees they are asking to be hoenst so if I had to pay, I would nto even if I could afford it.

Fab thank you will look it up

I wouldn't!

Were you privately educated OP?

If it were free, yes I would send my child to a private school.

I do.

I do it because my DD14 has adhd and ASD and the local comp is a shit show for SEN.

She is thriving in the small all girls private school I selected.

Treating everyone the same is sometimes the most unfair thing you can do. The private sector offered me a way out of the situation.

Would it be different if your kids were at a sink school with security guards due to violence /stabbings and shit exam results

No. I value the diversity of state schools (socio-economic diversity is more important to me than ethnic diversity before anyone claims private schools are "more diverse"). And I have faith that they will be clever and hardworking enough to do their best wherever they go.

Private schools are immoral, in my opinion, and I'm not a hypocrite.

Definitely not. One of my aims for dd is that she came out well rounded with a good sense of fairness and justice . Incidentally she also is on track for top grades but that was my secondary wish. I completely disagree with private schools and all they represent. I didn’t even put dd through the local top selective school exams despite her ability - didn’t want that environment for her (lots of reports of mh issues in the school)

Lol what about people like me who did both

No I wouldn't. We could have afforded it, but I completely disagree with the whole concept of private schools.

So if private school places were free (making them state schools). How do we think that would change the schools in the country?
Just looking up the numbers.
The state spends about £7,500 per pupil per year.
Private (secondary) average fees are about £17,500. Looks to me that the tax payer is getting absolutely brilliant value.

No because the schools my children go to have been lovely

Having read some of the grotesque comments on the VAT on school fees thread, I wouldn’t want my children to mix with private school kids if someone paid me!