Be honest - would you send DC private if you could?

[Naptrappedmummy]

If your DC is at a state school and you were offered free places for them at the local indie, would you accept? If so, why? If not, why not?

YANBU - Yes I would send them private
YABU - No I wouldn’t send them private

Me - yes I would, in a heartbeat (DD at state primary).

Don’t live near any indies but EVERY student coming out of the local comp here is wearing a North Face jacket and those black Nike trainers.

Yes and my kid is starting reception at a private school next school year. Where I am private and catholic schools are superior. However catholic schools have (significantly) bigger classes and that doesn’t work for my child’s personality.

I'm in Ireland & there is no tiered primary school system here. There are very very few private primary schools (none at all within commutable distance for me anyhow). Majority of children just attend their local primary. No grammar schools.
There are private secondary schools, but even if I could afford to, I wouldn't send my children to them as the quality of our local state secondary schools is fantastic.

No

Those who can afford to go private but don't are those who can afford expensive areas with better state schooling with less socio-economic impact on schooling quality. If I could afford to live somewhere nice with high-income families as standard, I would feel as though the state schools were good enough too.

Not for primary but I'm very glad we have done for secondary. Our catchment school is rated "Inadequate" and so bad it has made the BBC News.

We could just about afford it but wouldn't unless it was a last resort. I value education massively I just don't believe private education to always be better. I'd rather use the money to buy dd a house or something.

Yes I wonder how many of those patting themselves on the back for having the money but not choosing private, are still using their money for a superior education by living in the right catchments.

A few years ago i would have jumped at it, but I have now completely changed my mind. Both children are at seemingly rough secondary school, but both are doing so well. They stay out of trouble, are self motivated, they have high attendance and have brilliant results. The teachers are strict, but they are really great on the pastoral side. I do pay for some tutoring. I have friends who have children at some of the most well regarded private schools and to be honest i hate the sense of privilege they have and how little they socialise with others from different backgrounds. Lastly the links/connections that give them a huge helping hand post university, it just isn't fair.
Also it's worth noting:
73 per cent of state school students with the equivalent of eight A grades at GCSE go on to gain a first or upper second, but this proportion drops to 69 per cent for independent school students with the same GCSE profile.

I'm all for private school but are you suggesting that the kids who go to them are in some way superior.

There are plenty on here claiming state school kids are superior, since apparently privately educated children are entitles snobs who only care about labels and have no idea how the other half lives.

I think there's an unspoken assumption that private school is better. But there is no evidence that children from comparable backgrounds do better at private school.

My kids went to a fabulous primary and their secondary is good enough, the vast majority of their teachers are good, some are truly outstanding, but annoyingly an important subject has a lovely teacher who isn't the best at explaining their subject. Thankfully, DH is good at that subject (he has a masters in it) so he's helping the DC. To be fair to the school it appears they have made the decision to give the top GCSE set the worst teacher, we know that other teachers in that subject are fab. The school offers lots of extracurricula and regularly beats private schools in these activities. So we're generally very lucky which helps.

It’s not all about results though. My dc are pretty bright and would probably do well in either - but I pay for private school for the here and now, not for future results alone; I think my kids would be miserable in the crappy under- funded schools round here (no grammars in this area, only inadequate comps with a reputation for poor behaviour and bullying) so we are spending like hell to make their day-to-day lives pleasant. If you have great state schools available it’s different.

Maybe some are, but that wasn’t the case at my daughter’s school or when I was there (we went to the same school, just many years apart). The other girls in her year were from a very wide mix of backgrounds.

DH works in a private school so we are entitled to half fees and ours still went to state school. So, I can definitely confidently say no.

Half fees would bankrupt most people on a teacher salary.

No definitely not. DS goes to an amazing school, thrives there and is very happy.

Nearly everyone who teaches at DH's school sends their kids there. It's not London.

No coincidence that the gap between the haves and the have-nots in Ireland is much narrower. Everyone more or less gets a decent quality education. And the school tie network barely exists.

I live in the UK. On principle I wouldn't even though I could just about afford it. I'd ban the lot.

Yes I would for secondary school.

We would have done private for secondary if the schools weren't good...they were so we haven't but I think primary school the most important thing is to have local friends for playdates etc ( unless the school is failing!). You can supplement with tutors if necessary but I think a walkable primary school is the gold standard!

I'd ban the lot.

Ahnowted would you also ban extra tutoring, which for those who can afford it, gives their children an advantage.

If money was no object of course I would. I would also shop at Chanel rather than Primark!

Private school locally has lovely facilities but results are no better and often worse than state primaries. Same for the high school.
So no, I wouldn't bother.

Yes and I did. Full bursary.

It's the narrow demographic that worries me most when thinking of private schools, I want dd around people from all sorts of backgrounds.
I suppose most parents just do the best they can for their child, which may or may not be private.