Be honest - would you send DC private if you could?

[Naptrappedmummy]

If your DC is at a state school and you were offered free places for them at the local indie, would you accept? If so, why? If not, why not?

YANBU - Yes I would send them private
YABU - No I wouldn’t send them private

Me - yes I would, in a heartbeat (DD at state primary).

No, I don't think a perceived "better" education should only be available to those who can pay. It isn't always the case that they are better, either.
I wouldn't send my children to one, refused myself. My parents were keen to send me to one but I had a choice. I never really wanted to go to the private school, but after attending tasters days I was 100% sure I didn't. It hasn't had a detrimental effect on my life at all.

Grammars are rammed with kids from very middle class and usually quite wealthy families.

How can it be "economically" diverse when, apart from a very small number of bursaries, all children will be from a wealthy background?

Do you also object to people moving house and paying more for the sole purpose of living in a better state school catchment area?

We are looking at ours joining one. We even decided against moving house and having another baby to get in a position we could do it for our 3. The children are far better behaved. The facilities are much better. The children honestly are a nicer class of children. They are polite, value education and are well dressed and well spoken.

I have worked in a lot of schools state and private. They have different problems. I think the state schools my Dc are at currently are a good fit for them and I wouldn’t move them now but that could change.

Private all the way

Peers are a huge influence at this age

I'd have given my right arm to go to private school

forcedfun · Today 21:13

The private schools near us get far worse results than the local state school.

There have been several posts on this thread saying this. If state schools are so superior to private schools then why bother to abolish private schools?

I don't object to people choosing private school, I just think that overall it isn't fair that a so-called better level of education is available only to those who can afford it.

No never!

I want my kids to mix with children from all different walks of life, plus I genuinely don't see a real, long term benefit to it.

Absolutely - our closest independent school offers a wider curriculum, specialising in subjects that my dc happen to be particularly interested in.

Our local comprehensive is good, and offers quite a good range, but it doesn’t offer those particular subjects, and dc would leap at the chance to study them (although, it is too late now, they wouldn’t catch up. But if I could have sent them from Y7 I would).

Problems at one London day indie school I taught in included drugs, a culture of perfectionism, sexual assault (it was one of the heavily named schools in the early days of Everyone’s Invited) and on a lower level over scheduled children who were always tired and spread too thinly. Fair bit of neglect from parents too. Would he hard for a normal income family to keep up with the lifestyle. I would not send my kids there.

For me it depends on the school. If it was a good fit for my child. Like the lessons, ethos, activities. Dont care what the label is, its if my child would thrive better in one or the other. If i didnt have to think about the money part of course 😂

Yes, for secondary, if it was a good school and the right fit. There’s an independent school near us that’s even more rubbish than our barely adequate state schools. I wouldn’t send them there. But Dh and I both went to private schools and I think it made a world of difference for both of us.

I really don't know of any issues with what bag you carry or what trainers you wear in any state school

I have 3 kids, aged 12, 15 and 16. All quite different. We’ve always had funds (well, they have, in trust) for school fees. But they’ve attended a mix of state and private schools depending on what was best for them.

DD16- US Montessori school, Prep school and super selective grammar
DD15- US Montessori School, village primary school, selective independent secondary, will probably go to grammar for sixth form
DS12- Specialist speech and language base in primary school, village primary school, non-selective Independent secondary.

We’ve been extremely lucky with the state options nearby. I’ve not observed a correlation between how much we’ve paid and educational quality. We were especially lucky with the speech and language unit which gave DS the support we could not have found in the private sector.

I absolutely wouldn’t, we could have afforded to send ours (probably only to seniors as we ended up having one more than we thought we’d have!) but I overall disagree with education being ‘tiered’ and feel the same way about this as I do private healthcare. Idealistic maybe but I couldn’t go against this.
Our local state schools are okay, not brilliant but alright. Our kids have all done well.
Our local privates are not very diverse (I visited quite a few in my previous job) and it’s not an environment we’d want for my dc to grow up experiencing.
Really just our personal opinions and every parent has to make their own decision, I have friends who have sent their dc private and been happy with their choices while we’ve been happy with ours.

The local - no - they have a reputation for managing out SEN kids which rules mine out. A more suitable one? Yes in a heartbeat.

Exactly the same as the state system then which is linked to property prices.

Absolutely and I will be. Those saying 'no' I expect don't have their DC in a crappy state school. I also wouldn't be moving DS to private if he was thriving in an excellent state school.

No. The state schools where we live are sufficient and my 2 state educated kids are doing better than our friends' privately educated kids. I might consider it if we lived in a horrible state school area but as much as private school gives opportunities, it also takes some away

I'm all for private school but are you suggesting that the kids who go to them are in some way superior?

My children had a great peer group at high school, the majority of who have all worked hard and gone onto university, apprenticeship linked to professional jobs.

I’m currently debating whether to or not for my 3 year-old. I’m leaning towards not (or at least not for now) because the private schools where we live all require some form of 4+ entry assessment which I’m really not keen on, then they’re very focused on pushing academics right from the start, mostly in a very competitive way. I’d rather a more laidback approach at this stage. We’re lucky to have excellent state options though which I fully realise is not the case for everyone.

Interestingly my infant and junior schools were both private. My junior school was an all through school, and almost everyone stayed on into the secondary phase, but my parents took me out to go to the local grammar school. The class sizes in primary school were much smaller but the quality of education, and O and A Level results was much higher at the state school. I was much happier at the state school, where my peers were from a range of backgrounds but were generally ordinary like me rather than the children from privileged backgrounds at my previous schools.