To not want to be sat near loud cackling women

[Ferretmad2]

What is it with groups of loud, cackling women these days? Third time I’ve eaten out recently and next to a table full of shouty, cackling women who seem to be in a contest of who can cackle the loudest. Doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s a posh place or not. I’m fed up of having to be sat near them whilst waiting for my food. Can’t move as we are in a table of 7. My three autistic children are completely silent! Feel like following my eldest child’s example and getting noise cancelling AirPods.

*It's like rats.

You may never have seen a rat, or picture of a rat, or even have heard of rats, but if you meet a rat in your kitchen you know EXACTLY what it is. Your evolutionary memory kicks your limbic system in the arse and says "RAT!!! FFS get a broom/ shovel/ terrier/ machine gun/ flame thrower - whatever! Just KILL it!!!!!"

Same with a cackle. You hear it, you know it.*

😂😂😂

@Emotionalsupportviper that made me laugh 😂

I'll just pittle on my seat next time, Miki.

Us Northern yokels can't cope with southern sophistication. We aren't used to theatres with roofs and seats 'cos usually the only entertainment is watching cats fight in the street.

Oh buggery, I almost feel guilty now....
We occasionally go, as a group of 12 - 16 for breakfast at a local eatery, and certain members of said group are a bit on the loud side, but nothing obnoxious!
I do think it's such a different perspective - part of a group... Great fun and chat and a bit giggly.
Outside of the group - noisy, chatty, intrusive.
I am regularly both, so have sympathy, but tbh, won't seek to change behaviour - its life affirming for me 😁

So true. I occasionally go by train to visit one of my kids, get an early train up and an evening train back so I'm back about 11pm. I often end up with a group of women swearing, shouting being a total pain. Last night was the same. Sometimes it is men but often women. Couple of months ago it was a group of young women with one middleaged woman who was very drunk. Ended up with her announcing she'd wet herself. I feel sorry for whoever was on that seat next.

The last time it was men they were also being loud and inappropriate but they were also more aware and kept apologising to me. Would have been nice if they'd used that awareness to calm down a bit.

Giggling isn't normally painful for other people, that's fine! That's not the harsh, unpleasant noise being discussed here.

Yep, it is a borderline pathological need to be seen and heard and it all stems from the social media/selfie/me me me culture IMO, people now, especially younger people are all about being outwardly referenced, they are constantly monitoring their looks and behaviour and how they are coming over to others, at the extreme end of the disease there is a need to dominate any environment you are in with loud exaggerated behaviours and sometimes "cackling" laughter that makes people around you feel their skin crawl with annoyance and embarrassment for the absolute plonker you are making of yourself.

Yes, it sets my teeth on edge. It's as if they're advertising what a damn good time they're having, give 'em a prize!
It's akin to be in the same room as a regiment of Davina McCall's......

"Cackling women"... well it's would hardly be "cackling" men, would it? Hmmm... Women communing loudly and joyously in a social space? Judging by your descriptor I would infer that what you have actually encountered is a rare female subset known as "witch" and you should consider yourself privileged because the majority of them were ethnically cleansed a looong time ago... no wonder they're trying to "make hay while the sun shines", you never know when some disapproving..... oooh...

Men are rarely able to cackle, because the average man's voice is much lower than the average woman's.

Pitch is crucial to a cackle.

I suppose it depends on how you react to pitch. Women tend to be a higher pitch which I think I find more painful. I found the same with my kids, if DD had a group of friends round and they got excited the high pitched squeals hurt me, with my sons they could be as loud but a lower pitch didn't seem to affect me the same.

Maybe that is why some people find men's noise more annoying than women's and vice versa.

I need to work on my tremolo, the cackle's a little rusty without it.

Yes, and unfortunately more people with noise sensitivity struggle with high pitched noises.

My teen and I find it much more painful too. I think it's much more common to struggle with high pitched noise, like most people don't like children squealing.

Your poor, delicate, Southern ears.

Mountainpika
I have also been known to ask places to turn down the 'music' so I can hear what the others at my table are saying.

Ha, this reminds me of my elderly mother who was on her way to do the same until I told her it was in fact a bloke on a keyboard.

(Edit - sorry I meant to delete the whole quote and now it won't let me.)

Cackling? Are they witches. Or heaven forbid, older than you and should therefore be seen and not heard?

This drives me insane too. I've got worse with being irritated by people being loud and annoying as I've got older!

There genuinely is a scientific basis for certain pitches being painful and resonating more intensely. The higher the pitch, the more overtones and harmonics...the more the sound can cut through you.

An easy example would be how in a choir you usually need less sopranos than altos to make an equally balanced sound (or sopranos to reduce their volume and altos to sing up) and it's quite common for sopranos to drown out other vocal sections when they sing at full volume. I've lost count of the amount of times I've had to remind the sops to not sing at full voice (whilst ignoring the daggers the altos, tenors and basses are giving them!).

I've heard many people say they don't like opera, when what they mean is they don't like wagnerian dramatic soprano styles. They'll quite happily listen to easy on the ear tenors like Pavarotti or Bocelli. This is often to do with the fine bones in our ears and we instinctively feel that some pitches are more comfortable to listen to than other.

Think of how unbearable a toddler or baby shrieking or crying intensely is and how it can cause even physical discomfort for a listener.

Women's voices do generally travel further due to the harmonics and overtones that make up the pitch in their voice, due to their smaller larynx size and thinner vocal folds and, when "cackling", "shrieking" and "performance" howling, it is more painful and harder to block out than a bellow or a guffaw AND harder to converse and hear over. Especially if you are neurodiverse as OP and I are.

Depends on ops attitude to 'crackling' surely? I say laughing, she says cackling,,.... we do have a loudly spoken member-bloody wonderful, but has a very clear voice- think school teacher in a school hall!

I love them to death. I have the best, most life affirming times wiith them.
Would I like to be in the same restaurant if not part of their company?
Nope. Not a chance in hell.

BUT, live and let live. Honestly, unless it's seriously impacting on your ability to exist, just go with it - and appreciate you may be one of these people just bloody enjoying life one of these days 😁

Nobody is asking them to be "seen and not heard", just to stop shouting and cackling fake laughs over the rest of the room because they are emotionally needy and unable to sit down for an hour to eat and talk with just the attention of their companions like normal, less needy, people.

"I love them to death. I have the best, most life affirming times wiith them.
Would I like to be in the same restaurant if not part of their company?
Nope. Not a chance in hell.

BUT, live and let live. "

So live and let live as long as you enjoy them and dont care if the rest of the restaurant cant stand being near them. LOL

So it's only Northerners who are like this, is it? Really? You're absolutely sure about that....??

Bellowing for men.

cant believe women dare to laugh in public., something ought to be done about it