To be pissed off the cake was cut before DE saw it?

[Ruinedcake]

DSrecently turned 3, and I had a party for him. I’m not very good at baking so paid for a local cake maker to bake a cake which tied in with his favourite colours and interests. As you can imagine, it wasn’t cheap.

The actual party went well but as the children were sitting eating DH and FIL started flapping around saying that they needed to cut the cake. I was trying to stop them but both are very difficult to distract when they get an idea in their heads, and I was also contending with various other things. So to cut a long story short they both cut it before DS has a chance to look at it.

I know it doesn’t ’matter’ really but I am annoyed.

Fuckers. I would love to know how much time they spent organising this party, ordering the cake etc. Fucking zero I bet. I would be raging op, especially with your dh. I wouldn't have been distracting them though, it would be a clear, loud NO from me and they would ignore it at their peril.

In fairness DH did pay for it and the soft play centre did the rest

But still. My cake!

what did he say when you asked why both of them had ignored you about the cake?

I was trying to stop them but both are very difficult to distract when they get an idea in their heads

I'm baffled that you talk about them like they're children, not adults, yet you couldn't make it clear to them what you wanted to happen and make sure it did.

I'd do it to them on their birthdays.

I think it's mean that they didn't involve the child by bringing the kid over to see the cake and then cutting it in front of him.

It's all part of the excitement of the child seeing 'his' cake being given to everyone.

Had a similar situation when my DC turned . Spent nearly a whole day making an 8 layer rainbow cake. Partner decided not to take any pictures of it at all until I specifically checked he had got one, by that point one tiny piece remaining broken in half on a plate. He spent the party asking his mate who was a surveyor how much he thought my house was worth instead. Decided to put the birthday banner on his new car to show off to his friends as they arrived.. He didn't last long after that!

But loads of people have said different things, agreed with you etc.

No Uni-mind MN.

I really don’t know how I can make it clearer to the baffled, confused posters. If you’re not actually confused at all but you mean you think I’m a hapless idiot then say that.

It could just be our house bur these things do happen - and I am probably guilty of it as well, people not listening properly, or hearing but then forgetting or whatever. In a typical week we have any number of ‘could you ring X to do Y’ ‘could you get milk from the shop on your way back’ ‘did you manage to pick up that parcel?’ Usually dealt with by means of ‘oh shit, sorry.’ I could be wrong but that’s normal life.

In some ways this is different. But bear in mind I had thirty or so under 5s and their parents chatting, laughing, singing, DH is asking me about a knife to cut the cake and FIL is fumbling around looking for one. I say something like ‘hang on DH, let him see it first.’ I turn around to another child, turn back and the cake is being chopped up a la Mel Gibson in Braveheart 😭

Just reading that made me very tense. I would have been furious.

No one person thinks the same thing, but there are general sort of consensuses on here and cake is one of them.

Really odd you couldn't have 3 candles for him to blow out. I'd be annoyed.

Furious. Hope you got a photo before it was cut.

Don't worry - I'm sure I'm not the only one who knows you weren't being rude.

Yes, my oddness has been well established by now <eye roll>

Completely out of order. It was a special cake so, to be honest, I wouldn't have been cutting it at the party at all.

You’re not odd, you’re not weird - it’s perfectly normal to want your child to see their cake before it’s cut. It’s also completely understandable that “hang on, let him see it first” gets lost in the moment of a busy party if the people you’re saying it to are in the midst of a slight flap, and your attention is a bit diverted.

that being said, your husband and father in law are utter wallies - I’d be really annoyed with them.

I'd be furious too.

The only odd ones are your DH and FIL. What's wrong with them? Why did the cake suddenly have to be cut then and why were they both flapping around looking for a knife to do it all of a sudden?!

Obviously in the grand scheme of things it's not a huge deal but it would really piss me off, it's just so weird.

My FIL can be a bit like this, think it comes from wanting to be helpful and involved. But at least with my DH I can say "just stop your dad" and he does!

well, one of my favourite memories is 3yo S1 crying out "ohh it's Thomas! Thank you thank you!"

(which made the 2 hours of cutting and sticking and 2 hours getting the icing the right colour all worth while...)

Yeah I'd be fuming OP. DD turns 3 in April and we've ordered the most perfect bespoke cake for her from a local cake maker. If DP cut it before she saw it I'd go nuclear 😬

My sympathies!!

Yabu for not blowing out candles, but i would personally be relieved it wasn't covered in slobber 😆

What weird men! 🤔

Personally, I would have had a supermarket cake for cutting up at the party & the nice cake at home.

But whatever the cake looks like or how expensive or cheap it was, you do not cut it before the birthday child (or adult) has seen it, blown out candles & had Happy Birthday sung to them!

I would have been upset/angry too.

Honestly, some of the people on this thread . . . ! If the OP didn't want candles, that's her decision. However that's beside the point: two ADULT men decided they couldn't wait for a piece of cake until a three year-old had seen it? I would go ballistic. They would be paying for this year's cake and wouldn't be allowed NEAR next year's birthday party. The cake was for the child, not his father and grandfather, but they thought it ok just to grab? I'd be having serious words with both of them about their attitude.