No inheritance because of pilot training

[Poily]

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

Im not understanding it either and we put our son through flying school as well. . And he’s not the only pilot in the family who paid their own way training wise and yet I still don’t understand this situation.

Your brother is repaying the money he’s had from them. You are not repaying the money you’ve had from them, you’re keeping it in an account for your children.

Now that your parents are near destitute maybe you should repay them that money, just as your brother is doing, and save money for your children’s futures from your own pocket.

You really do sound worse in every post. Your parents have hit a financially hard spot in their life and you are bitching that you/your kids won’t get money from them

Most children who saw their parents in that situation would be encouraging them to spend any money they had on themselves to make their existing life easier. Not your life in the future

Starting with the OP.

Yep, this.

You sound really nasty about your parents and your brother.

But "your inheritance" (actually, their money) would have been blown by now anyway, because they lost everything when their business failed. So you are coveting money that you wouldn't have got anyway.

Why have you been accepting your parents putting so much money away for your children when their financial situation is shot?

The entitled attitudes to inheritance on this forum is baffling. No one is entitled to other people's money. Your parents spent their money as they pleased. If your brother is paying them back through paying their bills, that's between them. He can move wherever he wants.

Your update makes you sound even more grabby. Your parents have a CCJ against them and need to sell their home and all you're worried about is your inheritance? They must be thankful at least one of their children gives a shit about them losing everything through no fault of their own. Clue: it's not you.

Now that your parents are near destitute maybe you should repay them that money, just as your brother is doing, and save money for your children’s futures from your own pocket.

You're making too much sense. Stop it...

OP, you are living in cloud-cuckoo land.

According to what you have said above, your parents spent all their savings and will have very little left when they sell their house. As a result of your parents investment in his pilot training, your brother will be in a position to pay their bills and provide them with accommodation.

Had your parents not spent their £150,000 saving on your brother's pilot training, they would now be burning through their savings to pay their rent and their bills. As your parents are likely to live for many years yets, it is likely that they will exhaust all their savings to pay their living expenses before they die.

Your parents won't be able to live on fresh air for the rest of their lives. You cannot inherit when there isn't any thing left to inherit.

This is between your brother and your parents. None of this has anything to do with you. You have no actual right to an inheritance

I can see why you think it's unfair that your parents have given your brother 150k and not given you anything. People have got very focused on you calling it "your inheritance" but I can see why you're annoyed.

@Poily

Your parents sound like they are in a terrible financial situation and all you can think about is yourself and future inheritance?!! They’ve had to sell their home and need their son’s help to source a rented place- this all sounds very sad for them.

What I don’t understand is that that OP makes out that her parents are struggling financially but she is still taking whatever spare cash they have to put in her children’s savings as some sort of retribution for the 150k her brother had for his pilots training. This is so evil.

OP's writing isn't as bad as this though,

@Poily your parents are in a dire financial situation. Yet all you care about is "your inheritance".

Grabby and uncaring doesn't begin to describe it.

If he gives them back the money how would the rent and expenses be paid that he will cover?

Ok so what I’m understanding is parents had 150k in savings. Brother needed it, they gave it to him. Plan was for him to pay your parents monthly money that they’d put into an account which would be yours eventually.

Now brother is paying their rent/bills so there’s no more money going into ‘your’ account.

This is what you’re frustrated about am I correct?

But if brother had paid the full 150k back and parents had put it into account for you then what would your brother get? Surely he’d be entitled to half of that account too?

So you’re annoyed about losing out on 75k. Would that be right?

I mean look. I can understand why you’re frustrated. I would be too. But in the long run your brother is offering to take your parents in, saving you care home expenses? He’d be entirely responsible for them financially. Seems like a win really.

Have you spoken to your parents about it all? What are their thoughts?

Bottom line is if your brother is repaying them less than the 150k then that difference has in fact become a gift, as opposed to a loan.

If your brother pays all of your parents’ rent/ bills etc directly then presumably they will be saving money as they’ll have no outgoings. Instead of paying their own bills/ rent etc with their income and putting your brother’s payment into your kids savings can’t your brother now pay their bills/ rent and they put their income into your child’s savings instead?

The fair options would be:

Your brother pays back 75,000 and for that money to go to you. That way you both get given 75,000. You get lucky because you don’t have to spend it on training for a job you don’t want to do.

or

Your brother pays back all of the 150,000and your parents lend it to you to train for another job. You then have to pay it back before they die so that you can both have an equal inheritance. This would be unrealistic but totally fair.

or

Your brother continues a job he doesn’t like so that he can pay back 150,000 and your parents spend it on themselves. Neither of you get anything but the benefit he got from being lent the money is offset by him being stuck in a job he doesn’t want to do.

OP, what are you doing to help your parents given their terrible financial situation?

They aren’t dead. It’s not inheritance, it’s their money. If you want £150k for your kids you’re going to have to do that yourself.

I won’t receive anything but a funeral bill when my parents die. Your entitlement is astounding.

I think people calling OP grabby are a bit unreasonable. If my sibling was given a gift then I’d expect a similar gift? In the same way that my house deposit was gifted to me, the same amount was given to my sibling. Equal treatment amongst siblings?

Stop worrying about money that's not even yours.

But they didn’t give him any money 🤷🏼‍♀️They loaned him money that he is paying back and still continues to pay back. So the brother ends up with nothing. The OP however HAS been gifted money every month by her parents, with no expectation to repay it, she’s just pissed that it’s stopping. If anyone has been unfairly treated it’s the brother.