No inheritance because of pilot training

[Poily]

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

I honestly think you need to accept the money has gone. It’s been absorbed within your brothers training fees in the same way it would if he had been at private school or Uni. If your parents business hadn’t failed then this wouldn’t be as important to you. Sadly the cards have fallen badly for you.

Parents don’t claim benefits. Parents credit is shot due to CCJs which will be paid off with the sale of the house. Therefore brother is stepping in to help secure rental accommodation.

Her parent are skint and are having to sell their home to pay debts, and will have little leftover.
Her brother is going to support them as they have no money... not that the OP seems concerned about that

If your parents are skint, you should be stepping forward and saying "don't be silly putting money away for my children".

Realistically, I think it's ok to be annoyed that your brothers loan has deprived your parents of using their money to keep themselves comfortable at a time when they could have benefited from the savings.

It's not ok to even consider them not giving you and your kids money FFS. If they go crazy and spend it on cruises for the next twenty years, that's their right, as they can spend their money how they want. Fat more likely, they'll end up needing care and it'll all be spent on that anyway.

It's perfectly fine that you saved up and worked in your gap year to fund uni. Why wouldn't it be?

Here’s the alternative thread started by her brother:

AIBU? My parents loaned me money to train as a pilot. I have been paying it back monthly. My parents have come into difficult times financially, losing their business during Covid, so instead we’ve agreed that I’ll pay £700pm to cover their rent/bills. And after I’ve finished working abroad I’m going house my parents with me. However the problem is my sister - when my parents were better off financially they were paying money into a savings account every month for her kids. Now they can’t afford it and my sister is kicking off. She has no plans to help my parents out with their current financial difficulties, instead kicking off because her “inheritance” is being stolen from her. She expects me to repay the money in full to my parents (which I’m trying to do) however she is expecting free money, whilst expecting me to provide my parents with housing in the future. Who is being unreasonable me or my sister?

It doesn't. You and their father are responsible for providing for them. The money belonged to your parents, it was never given to you or them. They haven't been negatively impacted in the slightest by someone else receiving money from his own parents to start his career.

If your parents are struggling that much, surely your "inheritance" should be the last thing on your mind?

This.

If he was going to pay £150,000 back over 7 years, that’s about £1,700 per month. He’s now offering to pay £700 per month.

tbh it sounds like your parents financial circumstances have changed significantly and while they thought they’d have £150k to gift their children (and I’m assuming you meant to say £75k to you and £75k to your brother) that money is now required for them to live off. If their credit rating is shot it’s possible that they needed your brother to guarantee the rent anyway

OP how much is your parent’s rent and monthly living costs?

Yet your making him out to be some sort of thief stealing from your children.

the reality is your parents can’t afford to put money away for your child and it seems like you have been letting them knowing they can’t afford it which is frankly awful.

This! Of course OP is being unreasonable, the brother isn’t.

YABVU

Its not your money, it’s nothing to do with you

Its between your parents and your brother

If they are all happy that is all that matters

Am I reading this right? Your brother has been steadily repaying the £150k to your parents and the way he did so allowed them to put some money aside to eventually pass to your DC. He is now altering how he repays them because a) he's moving and b) it will support their living costs after their business collapsed. But you think that's robbing your kids of their inheritance????

Wow. What a selfish outlook. It's surely better your brother covers their rent than they struggle and get into arrears etc?

Why on earth should he pay it back in cash? They get the money either way!

Also, if he's paying it back at £700/month over a longer period of time, that's good isn't it? Because he's making sure their rent and bills are covered for a longer period of time too?

Your brother took a loan and has been paying it back, he will now be supporting your parents via rent and spending money and then plans to build a house, so however it is done he will be repaying the money and then some no doubt. So how you are describing it his loan which he is repaying you expect to become your inheritance. Where is his inheritance in all of this? Nice that your brother is looking after your parents, he obviously appreciates the loan and is now committed himself to long term financial care of your parents.

He should pay it back as if he was still getting the money out of the bond. If he's getting a great job with a big pay cheque he should carry on paying as before. Covering their bills is nothing like the same as getting a regular return of the cash.

One of my relatives did this, borrowed a chunk of money and then paid it back by buying odd things (and sort of taking credit for buying nice 'presents' as well), thinking this was a perfectly OK way to repay, but the elderly relatives who lent the money, effectively lost their savings and because they weren't paid back as cash lump sums they couldn't replenish them.

Where did the figure of 700 a month come from? The OP didn't mention it as far as I can see. It just appeared like a rabbit from a hat.

Have theybactually
said they will stop paying into your children’s savings? Maybe because your brother will be paying the rent that will free up the money they would normally spend on rent and maybe they will put that spare cash into your kids savings or maybe they will think you are a knee grabber and not. Totally up to them. Inheritance is not a right

Can you not see that your brother is still repaying this by paying for your parents rent and some expenses?
Do you want him to do this and pay the original monthly amount as well?
Also how much have your children been given?

It sounds like, that if they hadn't given away the £150k it would have since been swallowed up in the debts, so either way the money would have been gone.

The current situation enabled you to at least see something coming your way via your kids savings, but in all honesty it's clear they need that money themselves to live on.

Your brother was lucky in the fact when he needed money, they had it.

It's now been spent. It's gone.

If your parents have CCJs etc, maybe they are using your brother as a guarantor or name on the rental agreement because they can’t get a landlord to rent to them with their credit history ? If that’s the case then he’s not changed the payment method to deprive you of an inheritance.

Tbh I am shocked that you expect your parents to save 150k for your kids when they have debts and CCJs. I’m not close to my parents but would expect them to use the money in the account rather than get CCJs etc

Hmm...I do think it’s unfair that you had to fund your uni but your brother got equivalent help by getting his career choice funded.

I don’t think the amounts need to be equal, if his choice to be a pilot was £150k and your choice was to be something else that cost £15k, that would be fine imo, as you would both have been supported in your choice. But to not help you with uni at all, but pay £150k for their other child, well, that's bound to cause issues.

Now, it seems like your parents are fucked financially, so there isn’t much you can do. They should have been fairer (not necessarily equal) in the past.

It's about her 4th or 5th post into the thread. She says their rent and bills will come to more than £700 a month or something.

Except it isn’t a gift and he’s still paying them back?