No inheritance because of pilot training

[Poily]

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

@HarrietStyles i think what the OP is saying is that by paying the parents bills and rent directly he’s essentially repaying less than the agreed on 150k. Someone further up the thread said that it would take him 17 years to pay back the 150k yet he plans on having his parents move in with him and to discontinue the payments.

The difference between what was loaned and what was repayed would essentially be a gift. A gift that OP didn’t receive.

But if your parents are having their bills and RENT paid then they will be housed for free by your brother when he returns to this country perhaps they consider that to be a good deal for them. How much has he paid back and remember if he is giving £700 a month then that is £8400 a year.

So I don't think this is the loss you think it is because presumably if you think the £150k is the inheritance then brothers half share is 75k and yours 75k. So how much of the £75k has he actually paid so far as he only needs pay for just under 9 years at 700 to cover £75k and has already been paying some

It is not so much about the inheritance as it is about your parents treating you and your brother differently. You really have no control over this but I would be upset too and would not do that with my 2 children. £150k is a lot too so not just a few thousand. I don't suppose they thought they would lose everything though due to Covid so I feel more sorry for them.

Bit if he pays it ALL back then presumably he would inherit half so in effect he needs only pay back half so under 9 years and he is already paying.

@Spirallingdownwards yep that was also my reasoning and a question I asked OP in my post.

Of course no one should automatically assume inheritance, however treating your children so unfairly is very wrong imo. What you give to one, you should give, or at least make available to the others(s)
Would you all seriously be ok with a sibling having such a huge sum of money and you having nothing. There is no guarantee in all this that the op brother will pay it all back or return to uk.

Equality between siblings shouldn’t be automatic. If there is money to be left or given to children it should be given by need, if given at all

From what you are saying if there are two siblings and one earns minimum wage and one earns £100k the parents should support them both the same?

Because to me that’s unreasonable.

We have already the chat and I have insisted that my mums house is left to my sister as I am much more financially comfortable than her so to me it would be unfair for anything else to happen and also be very grabby of me

What inheritance? OP, your parents are still alive.

She hasn’t said how long her brother has been paying his loan back to his parents - I presume he’s already paid some of it back. He’s now going to live abroad and pay them £700 a month (again I would presume this will be for a few years). When he returns he will build them a house that they can live free free for the rest of their lives. Personally I think this could easily amount £150k worth.

All of this is a moot point though - the parents money does not and never did belong to the OP.

Why should the brother pay back every penny loaned to him. Yet the OP has received money into savings accounts that she has zero intention of paying back, nor helping out her parents in their dire situation.

Agree you are confusing different issues. Are your parents now retired or working? Why rent if they still own a property, at least until it sells. The arrangement with the employer is likely to be a loan taken out on his behalf which they guarantee but becomes repayable if he ceases to be an employee, probably not the full original amount though. Not that that is your concern. If your parents can no longer afford ti squirrel money away, and that is liable to iht rules as gifts, then so be it. There may no longer be an inheritance as such pr8narily due to the business failure, not your brother.

Tbh it sounds lucky for the parents that they did lend their son the money.

He’s going to take on their living costs and then house them. Which as people who are losing their home and have CCJs is likely a massive relief for them.

That 150k would have been gone as well.

But he wasn't given a gift. He was given a loan that he is continuing to pay back. All that seems to have changed is that the parents are no longer able to earmark the repayments to go directly to OP's children's saving account. I mean, why was money being earmarked for OP's children to inherit, but not being saved for the brother to inherit, since he was paying back the original loan and therefore hadn't had any "extra" inheritance anyway.

As a pilot his salary in the ME should be huge, tax free and inc housing and private education for any DC. Talking 150-200+ in USD.

He can and should pay back the bond from that and your parents can use it for what they need or what. It may have to go on bills though

Parents often treat their children (and grandchildren) differently. My parents never owned property and had quite minor savings but all through my life they funnelled a lot of money towards their eldest grandchild, who still got a an equal (to me and my two brothers) share of the savings my Dad left when he died. The other grandchildren got nothing.

If I added up how much money they shunted my nephew's way over 4 decades it would - I know - come to a sizeable amount, considerably in excess of the small amount I inherited (which I automatically gave to my brother towards my nieces' university fees). That was their right and prerogative and no amount of "it's unfair" will reduce parents/grandparents' rights to do what they choose with their money.

As someone else has already suggested, that £150K - had it not been spent on the pilot training - would almost certainly have disappeared into the OP's parents' debt liabilities.

But he'll be housing them for free. Therefore saving them housing costs. So paying them back in kind.
They presumably consider this a reasonable financial agreement.

I agree.
An inheritance doesn’t exist until someone is dead. Even then, they can leave their estate to whoever they want.

There’s no guarantee that he won’t pay back what he was loaned.

The Op’s children certainly won’t pay back what they’ve been given.

So the overall original plan to lend him money, but give it to the OPs children effectively penalises him for having no kids

I agree it is distasteful to have an eye on the inheritance whilst they are still fit, well and very much alive.

But if your brother wants to take on the role of supportive child and pay their rent and eventually have them move in with him to pay them back fine. I would just not get suckered into providing care for them when they are elderly when he doesn’t move back from overseas. Or financially supporting them because the care bills have gone up and your brother now wants you to pick up your “share”.

@CrispsandCheeseSandwich I’m not disagreeing with you at all and your point is a point I raised in one of my posts!

OP, ignore all the nasty comments. YANBU to feel this way, however inheritance is never guaranteed, so you need to think of this as gifts.

What is unfair, is that your DB has been given over £150K and you have received nothing. It sounds like your parents were trying to equalise that unfairness by putting the bond money aside for your DC.

Due to your DB wanting to change jobs, that will stop .

Yes it is extremely unfair. DB is a little selfish to quit before he has repaid your parents.

You need to discuss this with your parents, but if they have nothing, then there is nothing to leave.

DB is taking care of your parents financially so none of that should fall to you, due to the circumstances.

If someone came to me suggesting that I change my will to benefit them, they'd be getting fuck all

I think if your parents are struggling with their bills even if your brother was paying them the bond money - surely they would be using this to live on and not saving it for your kids? It seems you are focussing on your brothers training when really its your parents business unfort failing that is their source of finance problems. Your brother is paying them back - the fact you are obsessed with your inheritance from your very much alive parents is very concerning. You aren't owed an inheritance they need to be left alone to get on with their lives.

It was mentioned that some of the training was during Covid so let’s say he has paid 2 years (of the 7 the op mentioned) she also said it may be less than the £150,000 she had assumed but using that as a figure anyway he could have already paid back about £40k. This money is in bonds for the grandchildren instead of being used to cover the parents bills even though they are sadly in a dire situation.

so approx £110,000 left being owed. Working on £700 a month (which sounds low to cover rent and bills!) that’s about 13 years worth of living costs covered.

but given the OP already has £40k locked away surely her logic says he should also have £40k so then it’s down to £70,000 owed which is only 8 years living costs which for healthy parents isn’t much.

now obviously all of these are rough figures based on what the OP has said but I don’t see where the brother is being unreasonable here

The man has been paying the money back - sounds very much like the money was a loan rather than a gift. So its not that he was given the money as an early inheritance or considers it an early inheritance.
When he pays it back sounds like he will not have an inheritance either due to tight finances but can't these poor parents be allowed to spend their own money in their life time on themselves?

Yes this’s, the OP has said in one of her posts that this money has now become a gift. The brother is talking a lot about what he will do for them in the future. This may or may not be true. Even if the brother does intend to do all this for his parents, his situation may change.