No inheritance because of pilot training

[Poily]

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

@Jk8 @Yalta
Where are you getting these figures from? I've scoured the OPs posts and I can't see anything about £116k or £1700 being paid by the airline? Who's come up with these figures.

I read it as the parents lent 150k. He's been paying them back. We have no idea how much has been paid back.

Separately the parents have been paying 700 pm into an account for the OPs dc.

The parents are selling their mortgage free house to pay off their debts.

The brother is changing jobs but will continue to pay back the parents by paying their rent once they have sold their house and move into rental

At some point in the future when the brother returns to the uk the parents will live with him at which point he will cover all their costs.

The parents are not particularly old or frail so presumably they will end up living with brother on his dime for many many years/decades.

In what part of this will the brother not be paying back the inheritance plus some? The parents will potentially be living with him on his money for 15-25 years. He's covering them.

Except they didn't do that did they?

They lent him 150k, he's been paying them back and is still continuing to pay them back.

@splutter Clearly you read the post it was attatched to...?

The figures were mentioned by that poster & I was clarifying that if his income was £1,700 a month then £700 payments would be a large chunk that would leave him with £1000 to live on which is not at all the same as some with £1,000+ a month flinging the odd £50 & she got the figure in guessing from the OP saying the original money would be payed back in wages over a minimal service time period ?!?

*minimun

But the argument that the 150,000 is an inheritance is completely unsupported.

I think talking about it as "inheritance" is an unfortunate framing that has led to a lot of the criticism you're getting.

Basically your brother has had a loan from your parents to the tune of £150k that has given him a big financial advantage. You haven't - presumably you've not wanted or needed that sort of money for a specific career goal - but it does feel lopsided and I can understand the sense of injustice. I'm a bit confused by the complexity of the whole job / bond situation to be honest, not a world I'm familiar with, but ultimately if he pays them back in some form, then it will equal out, surely. If I've understood correctly, he is offering to cover their living costs - and paying their rent is still giving them money, it's just money given with a specific purpose in mind.

What's complicated matters is that your parents' financial circumstances have changed and badly, so they're now in a less fortunate position and are less able to continue to gift to the remainder of the family in the meantime.

Your parents are much less well off than they used to be. Surely that is ultimately the reason why they can't enrich you/your kids. You used to have wealthy parents and prospects to match. Now you have poor parents. You need to adjust your expectations accordingly.

1. Sit down with your parents and brother and have a frank discussion with proper figures as to who has borrowed what, been given what (your children) and how much is left to be repaid of the loan.
2. forget inheritance. The parents are not dead yet, may still need to end up in a care facility which costs, and 150k pounds or whatever is left isn’t much to cover the additional amounts they will need. the balance if any, of the loan may well be going into the construction costs for the annex that will be housing your parents…

To add to my post above - your brother seems to have grasped and digested this change in circumstances. He sees that he now needs to support your parents, who are no longer wealthy. I can appreciate it's a really big change in mindset but I think this is where you will need to get to, too. Instead of seeing them as people who can give you money, now they have lost so much, it may be you who needs to support them financially and not the other way around. Or at the very least, you can't expect them, in their newly straightened circumstances, to support you and your children's future any longer.

It's not really any of her business what the original loan amount was or how much has been repaid or how much is left to be repaid or what the plans for the future are. It literally has nothing to do with her.

Awful thread that just gets worst with every update. If you want money to give your children, get a job. Your brother isn’t forgetting his loan, he is supporting your parents. You seem to have done nothing for them. Of course they won’t want to move into a rental property that your in-laws own. The loss of dignity would be massive.

You sound very entitled. I would say this has nothing to do with you and is between your parents and DB. What your parents leave you in their will, will be your inheritance, they may decide to leave it all to cats.

Disgusting attitude.

@splutter from £150000 being paid back by the airline over 7 years. Though from updates that value could be less. It seems that the airline is refunding the training costs plus there’s a salary on top.

It isn't an inheritance until the current owners of the assets have died. What's stopping you from leaving your own money to your children rather than counting your parents' money as your right?

If you're that bothered about your children inheriting, maybe you ought to ensure your own finances are in a better state than your parents so you can give that to them. It's not an obligation on your parents. Your children your obligation to what you want for them. I really hope you haven't kicked up a fuss about this to your brother or parents. The money situation is between your brother and parents and from the sound of it he's going to look after his parents on his part.

That was my understanding; he gets his salary + a payment towards the original $150K he put in for the training. So, $150,000 / 84 months in the repayment period = $1785ish per month. So presumably that's what he was paying them every month, but not just $700.

Honestly OP if you are annoyed that your brother got more support from your parents in terms of a loan of 150K than you did then I can understand your feelings that they have been unfair. But in terms of calling it inheritance that is inaccurate as he is paying it back. And the only person till now who has received anything with no repayment expected is your kids! So be grateful for whatever you and your kids have received and look at how you can help your parents in their new circumstances. It is not only the responsibility of the son to take care of his parents. That is very old fashioned. Get a job and save for your kids and help your parents too. I can’t imagine expecting my parents to keep giving me or my kids money when they are in such dire circumstances! I am sure they have done a lot for you over the years, now is the chance for you to do something for them.

@FuckingHellAdele your reply has just made my evening. Thank you (and I 100% agree)

The thing is, I don’t see that any of this is actually the OP’s business.

But if your brother repays the £150k to your parents via the bond repayment, band they pay it straight to you, you end up with £150k and your brother does not.

If he pays their bills out of his income to the tune of £150k then he has repaid them, and you are both equal.

Your parents lost their business! Stop viewing them as a cash cow and trying yo grab their money before they are even dead.

This is the hard truth. Until the moment of your parents' deaths, you have no inheritance. None. They have their money and assets, that they earned, and the absolute right to dispose of it as they see fit to. Period.

I have a dear friend who is 75 years old. He gets a very nice annuity every month. Not an extravagant one, but enough to let him command the comforts of life, if not the elegancies. He has one grown son. He and his wife had given said son a credit card with a $1000 a month limit on it, which they paid. When my friend's wife died a bit over a year ago, the son managed to hack into their credit card account, remove the limit on his card, and run up $10,000 in debt in two months. Thankfully, that card was in the wife's name, the account was closed, and my friend was not responsible. I imagine that the son will be shocked when he finds out that "his" inheritance" will be a 120-year-old house that will cost more to fix than to tear down, sitting on a small piece of land, and that the annuity will be going to a foundation for stray cats. And it is legal, because that is what my friend wants to do with HIS money. His.

In the end, your parents have decided what to do with their own money. Do I think it is fair? I do not know. I was not privy to the discussions about it. But it was their decision to make.

I've only read the OPs posts so sorry if this has already been said, but if your DB builds them an annex which is purpose built for old people (accessible showers etc) this will likely delay them having to move into a care home for years and help with inheritance, if there is going to be anything left at the end.

The reason your DM&DF are no longer paying towards your children isn't because of the new repayment structure with your DB. It's because they've got less money. If they still had lots of money then DB could pay their rent and they could still make payments to your DC.

Really depends on the airline. My cousin is a First Officer for EasyJet and started on £50k.

So your brother pays back the money you expect to be handed and is the one taking care of them?

Seems the imbalance is in your favor.

@Loussa

Really depends on the airline. My cousin is a First Officer for EasyJet and started on £50k.

Agreed, that sounds sort of the right ballpark figure for a newbie F/O at a decent airline, I'm not sure who on earth would be paying 24k.

TBF though it's hellishly difficult to get accurate figures for this because on top of basic salary there might be other payments such as sector pay and then allowances for meals down route, and then there are sometimes differing scales depending on how training was funded.