Page 7 | No inheritance because of pilot training

SuperDopper · 27/01/2024 13:23

SuperDopper · 27/01/2024 13:19

I genuinely don’t get it.

He was paying your parents back every month.

Your parents have had a change in financial circumstances so that they now have rent and bills to pay.

Rather than paying money that they put aside each month, the money is now being used to pay their rent and bills, an expense they didn’t have before. The difference is rather than your brother paying your parents to pay third parties, he pays the third parties directly.

It sounds like your parents’ money / inheritance was always going to be lost because of their change in circumstances. Your brother isn’t backing out of the arrangement or avoiding paying them back. Any money they would have had through him paying them back was never going to be given to you any more.

Practicalities aside, you are being grabby and entitled.

My parents bought my brother a £300k flat. They similarly had a change in circumstances which meant they couldn’t do the same for me. I don’t begrudge them at all.

Shit happens, circumstances change. Your parents have lost their home and business, and you’re complaining about your inheritance?

Livinginanotherworld · 27/01/2024 13:25

XelaM · 27/01/2024 12:26

Wow is it usual for pilots to have to pay £150K up front and be tied by this to the airline? Sounds horrendous

No, that is a thing. It costs that train a commercial pilot. It’s a bond that is claimed back through loyalty to the company. If you leave, you don’t get it back. It used to be with some airlines that for example they loan 50% and you provide the rest of the funding. If you stay you are rewarded your loyalty by getting some back.

ShoePalaver · 27/01/2024 13:26

He's paying back the 150k so treating it like a loan. So it sounds like neither of you will inherit much due to your parents losing their business.

I don't see the issue especially as you said you're earning well yourself.

Anyway it's up to you to provide for your own children and when they are older they can earn their own money. They really are last in priority, any money should first make sure your parents are comfortable in their old age.

ohdamnitjanet · 27/01/2024 13:26

We all know parents can do what they choose with their money. But in reality, if you’re not a typical smug wealthy Mumsnetter, you would be pissed if your parents gifted your brother 150k to learn to fly and you had fuck all. If I had more than one child there is absolutely no way I would be so unfair without a very good reason.

Flossflower · 27/01/2024 13:27

I had to swallow hard when you talked about your parent’s money in terms of your inheritance. However, I think it is the same old story of parents putting their male children first. Your parents are probably delighted at the thought of spending their last few years with their son. I suspect this may actually not come about and they will be disappointed. I think you need to discuss how you feel with your parents.
I also think you need to try and make things for yourself rather than wait for an inheritance. It could all go in care home fees anyway, when your brother's promises fall through.

Gardeningtime · 27/01/2024 13:28

How long has your brother been with the airline op, as in how much of the bond is now paid back and what is the balance?

SuperDopper · 27/01/2024 13:28

ohdamnitjanet · 27/01/2024 13:26

We all know parents can do what they choose with their money. But in reality, if you’re not a typical smug wealthy Mumsnetter, you would be pissed if your parents gifted your brother 150k to learn to fly and you had fuck all. If I had more than one child there is absolutely no way I would be so unfair without a very good reason.

But there’s no gift. It was a loan, which he is still paying back?

catelynjane · 27/01/2024 13:29

ohdamnitjanet · 27/01/2024 13:26

We all know parents can do what they choose with their money. But in reality, if you’re not a typical smug wealthy Mumsnetter, you would be pissed if your parents gifted your brother 150k to learn to fly and you had fuck all. If I had more than one child there is absolutely no way I would be so unfair without a very good reason.

He hasn't been gifted anything - he's paying it back.

Catapultaway · 27/01/2024 13:30

Your parents are skint? And he's going to fund them for the rest of their days?
Not sure if you will end up worse off or him to be honest.

buzz91 · 27/01/2024 13:33

I’m confused, so your brother is going to pay their rent but they won’t have much when their house is sold? Are they not living in their house?

Either way, your brother will still be paying them the same so your parents will now choose how they spend their income with your brothers repayment going on bills/rent rather than spending their income on rent/bills and choosing what to do with your brothers repayment. So it’s the same…

Also, your brother is planning to build them accommodation in a few years? So he’ll be taking away the rent stress completely and helping to look after them in their old age? That’s priceless. The amount some people have to spend on care for their elderly parents if their own money doesn’t cover it is extortionate - I feel that more than covers the £150k?

Menomeno · 27/01/2024 13:33

Flossflower · 27/01/2024 13:27

I had to swallow hard when you talked about your parent’s money in terms of your inheritance. However, I think it is the same old story of parents putting their male children first. Your parents are probably delighted at the thought of spending their last few years with their son. I suspect this may actually not come about and they will be disappointed. I think you need to discuss how you feel with your parents.
I also think you need to try and make things for yourself rather than wait for an inheritance. It could all go in care home fees anyway, when your brother's promises fall through.

Why? It was a loan. I have 5 adult DCs. I lent one of them £20k for a new roof in an emergency. By your reckoning should I have given all 5 of them £20k even though DD repaid the money? If any of the rest of them needed a loan for something important I’d help them too. But if they didn’t need it, I wouldn’t. It’s not treating them differently. If it was a gift it would be a different kettle of fish.

Megifer · 27/01/2024 13:34

ohdamnitjanet · 27/01/2024 13:26

We all know parents can do what they choose with their money. But in reality, if you’re not a typical smug wealthy Mumsnetter, you would be pissed if your parents gifted your brother 150k to learn to fly and you had fuck all. If I had more than one child there is absolutely no way I would be so unfair without a very good reason.

Was just going to say on here you should be perfectly fine with a sibling being gifted millions while you're treated differently (and take any "this happened to me and I was just happy my sister was given a yacht in her time of need and now I could do with the help it's not there, but it's absolutely fine I don't even expect a meal deal because I'm such a good person" stories with a massive pinch of salt).

In the real world it's very reasonable and normal to be a bit passed off.

TheShellBeach · 27/01/2024 13:34

Poily · 27/01/2024 13:15

Replies never work for me

Click on the three dots in the right hand corner of a post.

Choose Quote from the drop-down menu.

The Reply button on this site doesn't work.

Folklore9074 · 27/01/2024 13:35

Look OP I don't think its grabby or entitled to expect your parents to treat their children fairly. You should have an honest conversation with your parents about this. A lot of people on the internet will tell you that YABU but I'd be annoyed too.

RaininSummer · 27/01/2024 13:36

So called inheritance aside, I think the parents may be claiming benefits which will explain why brother pays the landlord as then the parents have their rent money as extra funds to spend as they wish and dwp wont ask why they are getting 700 quid a month into their account.

VoiceOfCommonSense · 27/01/2024 13:37

Poily · 27/01/2024 12:21

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

Jesus, sounds very grabby of you. Your poor parents aren’t even unwell and you are already picking their carcasses dry.. Maybe you should have trained in something lucrative like being a pilot so you wouldn’t have to worry about money for your kids..

HarrietStyles · 27/01/2024 13:37

Let me get this straight…

Your brother was loaned money by your parents. Has been paying it back monthly. He’s still going to be giving them £700pm with his new arrangement. And will provide them with a place to live when he returns from working in the Middle East.

Your children have been gifted money every month from your parents, into a savings account. I presume there is no arrangement for you to pay this back to your parents?

Why are you mad that your children have been getting free money, but your brother was expected to pay back the money he received. Why does your brother have to pay back every penny, yet you have been receiving a gift and still moaning about it. Surely if anyone should feel unfairly treated it’s your brother?!!! 🤷🏼‍♀️

What plans do you have to help your parents with living costs after losing their business? Are you going to provide them with a home? Jesus your parents have lost their business and sounds like times are hard for them financially, your brother is making plans to help them out. Whilst you are sat sulking about losing potential inheritance.

DiamondGazette · 27/01/2024 13:40

You sound greedy and entitled.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/01/2024 13:42

Some people need to learn the difference between gift and loan.

Trulyme · 27/01/2024 13:42

If they own their own home would you not get inheritance that way?

Perhaps you could discuss with them how much they’ve lent him vs you and if they’d be willing to change their will, so that you get slightly more than him.

It sounds like he’s paying it back but just in a different way.
If the salary is a lot more in the new job then he’d be silly not to take it.

It isn’t fair that they’ve spent so much more on him than you and I would have a conversation with them about it.

But it sounds like he’s the one who will be financially supporting them from now on which is going to work out well for them and so they may not necessarily see it from your POV.

Flossflower · 27/01/2024 13:42

Menomeno · 27/01/2024 13:33

Why? It was a loan. I have 5 adult DCs. I lent one of them £20k for a new roof in an emergency. By your reckoning should I have given all 5 of them £20k even though DD repaid the money? If any of the rest of them needed a loan for something important I’d help them too. But if they didn’t need it, I wouldn’t. It’s not treating them differently. If it was a gift it would be a different kettle of fish.

Show quote history

We have always treated our children exactly the same. Yes of course I would lend a child money to mend a roof, but usually these loans in reality turn out to be gifts. We have in the past given deposits for houses, but we would not lend a child £150K without putting the same money away for our other children. £150K is a lot of money and if he failed his training would not have been paid back.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 27/01/2024 13:43

Well my brother has said he will be pay their rent alongside some spending money. And parents are happy with that. So the £150k seems to have been forgotten

This sounds like your brother is continuing to repay them, but they are choosing (or needing) to use that money on rent and bills, rather than putting it aside for your children.

Absolutely up to them, and nothing to do with your brother surely?

Nerurio · 27/01/2024 13:43

ohdamnitjanet · 27/01/2024 13:26

We all know parents can do what they choose with their money. But in reality, if you’re not a typical smug wealthy Mumsnetter, you would be pissed if your parents gifted your brother 150k to learn to fly and you had fuck all. If I had more than one child there is absolutely no way I would be so unfair without a very good reason.

Neither wealthy nor smug here. No siblings either so no chip on my shoulder regarding splitting things fairly.
The OP is worried about her inheritance - not her parents' business and them struggling - she's worried not enough money will go to her/her children. Her brother is paying the money back and covering parents' bills, I can't see what he's done wrong.
Parents can do what they like with their money. I know that mine will leave their house and any remaining money/assets to me. I don't rely on it, and can't see myself being upset if something happens so I don't receive anything. We're not entitled to our parents' money, and as OP has shown, relying on getting a certain amount just leads to bad feeling.

catelynjane · 27/01/2024 13:44

Megifer · 27/01/2024 13:34

Was just going to say on here you should be perfectly fine with a sibling being gifted millions while you're treated differently (and take any "this happened to me and I was just happy my sister was given a yacht in her time of need and now I could do with the help it's not there, but it's absolutely fine I don't even expect a meal deal because I'm such a good person" stories with a massive pinch of salt).

In the real world it's very reasonable and normal to be a bit passed off.

Show quote history

He hasn't been gifted anything. He is paying them back to the tune of £700 a month.

Gazelda · 27/01/2024 13:44

HarrietStyles · 27/01/2024 13:37

Let me get this straight…

Your brother was loaned money by your parents. Has been paying it back monthly. He’s still going to be giving them £700pm with his new arrangement. And will provide them with a place to live when he returns from working in the Middle East.

Your children have been gifted money every month from your parents, into a savings account. I presume there is no arrangement for you to pay this back to your parents?

Why are you mad that your children have been getting free money, but your brother was expected to pay back the money he received. Why does your brother have to pay back every penny, yet you have been receiving a gift and still moaning about it. Surely if anyone should feel unfairly treated it’s your brother?!!! 🤷🏼‍♀️

What plans do you have to help your parents with living costs after losing their business? Are you going to provide them with a home? Jesus your parents have lost their business and sounds like times are hard for them financially, your brother is making plans to help them out. Whilst you are sat sulking about losing potential inheritance.

That's the way I read it too.

Your brother received a loan. He is paying it back.

Your children have been gifted money which has gone into their savings accounts.

Your parents are no longer able to contribute regularly to your children's savings.

You're pissed that your parents will be unlikely to leave you an inheritance.

You're missing that they won't be leaving anything to DB either. They've been generous to him and he's repaying them. He apparently has plans to provide housing for them once he's made £££.

I don't understand what your problem is?