No inheritance because of pilot training

[Poily]

My brother is a pilot for a major airline in the UK. My parents were not able to borrow against their house to fund it so had to use pretty much all their savings. £150k was roughly what was spent.

Due to their failed business (folded just after Covid) they racked up massive loans trying to save their hospitality-related business. When they sell their house they won’t end up with much.

So I don’t know exactly how it works but some of that £150k ends up in a bond which the airline then pays out to my brother every month in his pay packet. But if my brother walks away from the airline he walks away from this bond also. It’s a lot of money. Gets paid over 7 years I think.

AIBU to think my brother should not quit his job and move to the Middle East (stupid salary) as he plans to do? He way paying that bond money to my parents.

Brother has said he will cover my parents bills. Great. Thats the right thing to do. But that cuts me out. As my parents were transferring the bond
money into a savings account for my kids.

AIBU?

How is it the inheritance when they don't have it to give?
They need that money to live off.

There is no discrepancy when it comes to the brother, why are you trying to insist there is one. He's not planning on forgetting the other 100k+that he owes them.

He used to pay the money back from the airline, now he's going to pay it back from his new job.

There's no weird "out of the goodness of his heart" story here except for the one you're trying to spin.

There is more than one discrepancy. The OP has said variously that the airline is paying £700 a month or that the airline is paying at a rate that has repaid £80k over four years. It's not clear from the random snippets of information scattered like confetti what the actual facts and figures are. I've asked where the other £70k of the £150k is, as it appears to have been suggested it's not with the airline.

Also haven't you noticed that the brother isn't going to pay all of their rent and bills, which will be more than £700? And we don't know what's happening about a house because all we know is they are going to view "a property". This could mean a house to buy, a house to rent for them or a plot on which to build this house with annex that he envisages. He would presumably own both the house and the annex. So there are lots of unknowns which is why it is difficult to say who benefits and or loses more and where to place a judgement on who's right or wrong.

The imbalance is in your favour.

Your brother has been loaned 150k that he is paying back.

Your children have been given £700 a month.

Wow! Honestly one of the most grabby threads I've ever read. My parents are in their 50s and inheritance wouldn't even cross my mind.

This. You really do sound as if you begrudge your parents any comfortable life at all.
I'm not surprised they turned down your in laws rental. They probably realise how much they are being bitched about in your household and want nothing to do with it.....when they have been giving your kids a huge amount of money each month.
Your brother is a good man and it is funny to read the mental gymnastics that some people in this thread have made to make him out to be the bad guy and the OP anything other than the bitter, entitled madam she actually is.
You want a good retirement? A private pension? A social life now?
Get out and get a job then.

There’s lots we don’t know.

The parents may be giving OP £700 out of the £1700 that they get each month. They are in debt with CCJs so map need £1000pm

As parents have CCJs and debts, they probably can’t find a landlord who will rent to them. Having their son rent a house on their behalf and paying bills might be more convenient for the parents because of the CCJs and debts. Even if brother stayed at his current job, it may be more convenient for the parents to have him rent a house and pay the bills on their behalf rather than receive cash because of the CCJs and debt situation. OP is assuming that paying their bills is an attempt to stop her kids getting £700pm but it’s impossible to say based on the info provided.

The wife has has agreed to living with the parents when they move back from the Middle East and OP says he’s a good guy so will probably come through with the house and bill promise.

Especially when they've lost everything including their house!!
And the OP thinks that the money the brother is paying them back should continue to go to her kids.
Insane.

@BoohooWoohoo
OP is assuming that paying their bills is an attempt to stop her kids getting £700pm but it’s impossible to say based on the info provided.

Presumably the parents need the rent and bills paid so the money goes directly to that.
If they don't need the money for rent and bills then the fact that the brother will pay them should mean they have enough money left to keep paying into the kids bank accounts if they want to, but they haven't offered that so presumably they want to stop the arrangement.

Quite. It's the parents' money and entirely up to them.

I understand to an extent why you're upset OP. The thing is though given your parents bad financial choices lately isn't it likely that if there was a safe 150k sat in the bank pre covid it would have been used to try save their business, or would now form part of what they currently owe along with house value, or need to be used from now on to support them in their retirement. So in almost every circumstance it would be gone. And if your brother didn't owe them now instead of him funding them now they'd be asking you for financial support too.

This is an extremely strange thread. The OP and half of the people on it don't seem to understand that if you pay money back it is a loan not a gift.

The OPs children has been getting money from her parents when her brother has not been getting anything. If her brother and her children were being given the same amount then her parents would have been waiving the £700 monthly repayment due from her brother and paying the same amount to her children.

OP you are being extremely selfish and entitled. You should be grateful to your brother for helping support your parents. I'm actually staggered you have allowed your parents to pay your children anything when they clearly can't afford it and have lost everything themselves.

The problem is in the maths - 150k for 7 years is monthly 1,785, without any interest (think about last year inflation...). If same period is discussed, it would be much less. Maybe new rental would be under the name of brother (referring to transfer directly to landlord), could it mean some less tax payment situation?
Future build a house project is too uncertain and far away, maybe he will never move back to the UK. Bear in mind, I guess if there would be any health issues due to age, the living abroad sibling would have difficulties to offer immediate help, so more pressure on the in UK sibling.
I think 150k is huge amount of money if it is provided to one sibling and missing out the other. Pilots are paid well (usually), so it could mean that missed out sibling is more challenged in life, not just because she was not provided with the amount, but also that chosen job is paying less (as self financed education choices are sometimes made with more compromises).

it has worked out unfair yes but your parents spent their money on what they wanted to spend it on.

i really dislike this mindset that inheritance is god given right. Aim to get yourself to a point where you don’t need inheritance and hope your parents die long after you need it.

I

If your brother is paying them back by paying bills, then your parents will have excess money saved by not paying bills. It up to your parents what they do but I think you should speak to them about how you feel this unfair to you. If you don’t it will fester.

It's extremely strange. They seem to have just run with the very misleading thread title and ignored all the facts in the OP which showed that the brother is still continuing to pay it back.

The only difference now is that the parents will be using it for living costs, instead of putting it in the OPs kids savings!

Because neither you or your kids have any right to anyone’s money until the moment in time they choose to give it to you. This reeks of entitlement. I’m sure you’re a nice person really and this is just a blip

Your parents can spend their money how they like. Noone is entitled to inheritance. That said if he pretty pissed if my parents spent 150k on my sibling and therefore I would get nothing.

Would you be pissed if your sibling paid your parents back, housed your parents with them in their old age and your parents put tens of thousands in an account for your dc too?

I know 2 airlines that do this for sure. Others ‘bond’ pilots for a few years so they get the cost of their training on a certain type of aircraft back. Pilots can leave but they have to pay the cost of the type-rating back. Pilots in the UK don’t earn as much as people think. A first officer is lucky to start on around £24k.

But op would you really feel
comfortable getting that 700/month whilst your brother pays your parents bills and your parents then potentially go without in their retirement?

What is your solution to this? Could your parents move in with you?

I find it in poor taste for anyone to be concerning themselves about their possible future inheritance. Its their money. Their choice. And who knows what the future holds. How dare anyone expect to inherit.

•The parents were wealthy/wealthier when their children were younger

•The parents paid £150k for getting their son training for a job (= income)

•The job paid £1,700 of which he paid back £700 a month while living on £1,000

•The parents didn't need the money & neither did OP so they put it into savings for her children - their grandchildren

• the parents later lost their business & are now selling their house for no profit

• op's brother decieded to go for a higher earning job abroad that will advance his career

• the brother earning more (& probably getting free housing if he's based overseas) said he will pay the formally 'unneeded' money directly to a landlord to get them properly housed & when he returns to the UK will plan long term to house them in a place with him

• OP's kids are no longer recieving £700 a month because her grandparents are no longer wealthy NOT because their family no longer cares

• OP's just realised how bad the situation is & the lifestyle changes now she doesnt have parents who own their own home & business & a brother getting a garunteed income & her children £700 a month shes got a brother whos advancing her career, parents who are supporting him & planning their lives around that & children she will need to take on a second job to have any sort of hope of putting almost £10k a year into savings for

@Yalta No mention of creditors (but a mention of them selling their house to pay bills im assuming their attempting to pay off any outstanding debts) but it's possible they might be more accepting of money being paid directly to the landlord so a £700 a month regualr payment doesn't interfere with their welfare payments if theyve signed on ???