DH gravely ill - I have no sympathy

[DeBuugs]

This is half light hearted and half a vent.

We have two young children who still wake up a lot at night. DH never does any of the nights - he got himself into a nice little position where the kids only want me. I really feel the lack of sleep creeping on me and has been for a while.

DH has been sick with cold for quite a while now. He walks around all huffing, looking like he is about to faint and when he talks to me talks supper quiet and his speech breaks up - you know where I’m going with this. Like someone acting for their boss when calling in sick 🤣.

I gave him no sympathy since he announced he had a cold (I was sick then myself) and I think we have a stand off here and he will be sulking acting like he is about to die until I acknowledge his extremely bad cold. I have no intention to do so.

If any men comment on here please say that you are a man if you don’t mind. Interested to hear male comments 😊

The cat did once. She bit his nose while he was lying there, prostrate, so not much sympathy from her, either

My DS are late teens / early 20s they happily call DH out on his performative illness with a bit of good natured banter.

That's probably because it reads as the start of a bout of victim blaming. Blaming us for our husbands' behaviour and how it affects the kids. As though men aren't capable of being responsible for their own actions.

This is so depressing

@VikingLady Nothing about victim blaming-everything about modelling decent relationships to children. The men should be modelling resilience and adulthood. The women should be modelling not putting up with crap.

Just discovered this and am howling at the shuffle of sorrow and Munchhausens By Marriage.

In 20 years there has not been one single symptom felt by me or the DC that H has not come down with 24 hours later and then had to lie down for 48.

I swear he'd have heavy periods if he could find a way to do it.

😴

Take a day off. It’s a lighthearted thread.

@Snowdogsmitten "
Take a day off. It’s a lighthearted thread"

Well, half lighthearted, according to the OP!
It's always worth thinking about whether there's a more serious side to things like this....

Ohhhh OP, you've got a husband. Poor things, they do suffer don't they? Get him that Lemsip now before he dies.

We're the other way around! DP is incredibly stoic, battles on and never moans. I am so dramatic when ill I could be on the stage of the old vic.

I have questions.

Why do adults poorly with a cold need someone to look after them?! Why do they need sympathy? Are they really unable to make a lemsip themselves? Why do you shuffle? Also, when do you put the dressing gown in and why are you not dressed?!

My DH is horrendously irritating in that he refuses to get treatment when he is ill. He had a DVT that both myself and our DD strongly suspected (I'm a paramedic and she's a nurse) and it took a lot of bullying by both of us to get him to see anyone. We said go to A&E, the GP will just send you there, we will take you, I'll even explain to staff why I've bought you, but oh no, he knew best and made a GP appointment, GP promptly said I think you have a DVT, go to A&E. They were going to call an ambulance for him but thankfully he said he could manage the 5 minute journey to the hospital.
I wish he'd bloody well listen to the two HCP's he has at his disposal. I swear he'll die one day through knowing best.

@Recycledblonde mine was an irritating mix of Shuffle of Sorrow, and Bravely idiotically Carrying On, ie refusing to seek or listen to medical advice - going out for a run on a damaged ankle, not taking antibiotics - until the point he would be really ill or in pain.

In fact his inability to look after himself was an element of us separating…

@okayokokay "What were your marriage vows?
Do you break them often?"

Ah, that must be why I don't have this problem. I'm not married.

When I had my emergency c section exH couldn't help change nappies or wash pots becuase his belly hurt too much....

Alongside playing them (15) rated movies, talking badly about other people in front of them, constantly arguing in front of them, teaching them mummy and daddy are the boss and they must obey us else…

🙂he lives to tell the tale

Haha, DH used to have Munchausens by Marriage until I had a stomach ache and had an early night with a hot water bottle. Next day he announced I gave him whatever it was that I had while clutching his belly tenderly. He got "what, you've period pain?" right back from me and had the grace to be shamefaced about it, and he still gets the piss taken out of him for it. I didn't have a brilliant name for it until now so thank you MNetters.

He's still prone to dragging out the hoodie of doom, little t-rex arms, weak voice and booming cough followed by the kind of sigh that carries the weight of the world when he's got a mild lurgy, but when he's really unwell he's quiet and takes himself off for a nap without announcing his departure.

DH is still doing this several days later. The thought of putting him out of his misery is getting ever-more tempting.

My OH has all this the shuffle of doom, the Munchausens by Marriage, Trex arms
He has done this the whole time I have known him
If anyone even someone on TV is sick within half an hour he will have gone down with something similar

Years ago he had a mild bout of tonsillitis (lasted 5 days) and had 6 weeks off work
A friend came round and he regaled all his ailments to her, she sarcastically replied that if it was that bad he really shouldn't be in work, I had to leave the room because I couldn't keep a straight face. He told everyone that she was so understanding. We still laugh about it

3 years ago he complained he had a migraine so I told him to take some paracetamol but he didn't and had the day off work but was well enough to go gaming at a friend's house that night I came home from work to find him staggering round the kitchen and stinking of beer so sent him to bed
Got up next morning and he was complaining of feeling unwell and still having a migraine. I had no sympathy as I assumed he was hungover
When he wasn't better the next day & complaining about not being able to see so I drove him to A&E and pushed him out of the door and told him not to come home till they'd seen him
They told him he had a migraine and gave him cocodinal. A few days and he was no better and his behaviour had completely changed we started with the endless visits to the GP and A&E to try and find out what was wrong
Nearly 4 weeks he was taken seriously and we discovered that he had had a stroke that affected his visual area of his brain which is quite rare and it was then too late for them to do anything
It is now a permanent poorly sick H shuffling round the house bent over with T-Rex arms moaning in his fleece of doom
Still fighting about the medication he has to take
I have offered to take him to the vet and have him put to sleep but he refused when I told him he would pay for it as its not coming out of the dogs account

Just to let everyone know we all have a dry sarcastic sense of humour in the family

These posts have had me crying with laughter as I read them