Mumsnet phone helpline

[Flyhigher]

What if there was a Mumsnet phone line?
Would it work? Or fraught with difficulties?

Press 250000 if that's your household income and you need help because you're struggling financially.

If you'd like to LTTFO (listen to the fucking options) again, please press star

Press Option 20 if you wish to be patronizing and snobby about a Baby Name.

To cash the cheque, press 1

To flounce, hang up

Helplines exist with trained personnel
You can call samaritans any time for a chat
do you need to talk to someone? They won't mind whatever it is you need to talk about

Are you new? There's some in classics that will have you crying with laughter

Just love the <tinkly on hold music> 😂