Mumsnet phone helpline

[Flyhigher]

What if there was a Mumsnet phone line?
Would it work? Or fraught with difficulties?

press 0 for “man here”

Press 17 to cancel the cheque

Press 3 if you earn over £100K

Press 4 if you have accidentally adopted a Korean lady

Press 5 to win a penis beaker

A mumsnetter would be the absolute last person I would expect to answer the phone.

Hopefully talking to each other

What happened to 14, 16, 17?? Lol

Press 6 to give your head a wobble and get your ducks in a row...

To win a penis beaker 😂😂😂😂😂😏

...and if you've got your ducks in a row, press hash to receive a surprise gift that keeps on giving!

Why??

But maybe if they received an invitation (not a demand!) three months prior they may answer? Assuming they didn't immediately bin the invitation (not a demand).

I'm hoping they wouldn't get paid by cheque....

Someone might be upset by the service, complain and say..

Cancel the cheque..... 💥

It could be staffed by MNers. Calls would go something like this:

Caller: 'I'm so upset. We were just coming out of McDonald's when my DC tripped, fell flat on their face and knocked 7 teeth out. What's the best thing to give them for the pain?'

MNer: You let your children eat McDonald's?

Press 10 for water sea serpents and bison i think it was

This is the funniest thread I've ever seen on mumsnet 😂🤣😂🤣😂

There is no fucking way the NightWatch would answer a phone call overnight but I suppose folk could text NW999 to report spam and egregious trolls
<this is not real and will never ever EVER happen> <prays>

Press #0 if men are responsible for everything that's wrong in the world.

Win a penis beaker just made me spit out my coffee 😂

Press 99 to LTB

For all other queries please hand hold

Press 15 for somebody just sat down in a café before they got their food

Press 16 for someone to berate you starting with ‘you do realise?’

Press 202 to be told, ODFOD.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣