Abusive ex stopped paying child support - cutting contact with his child until he does...Thoughts?

[Thepeppapigfanclub]

Sorry - long!

My ex is a nasty bully. My child is now at an age that he doesn't have to come into my house anymore to pick him up.

There was a nasty incident before Christmas when I had to phone the police (more of a precaution than anything else). Extreme measures- but I blocked him on my phone. He came around with an apology at new year - I unblocked him because he said we can't be 'no contact' because of child. (This was not my dream.) I did unblock him just to lead to more vitriolic abuse - so blocked him again.

His last bit of power over me is the child support, which he isn't paying now - partly because he thinks he's father of the year, and partly as a control device...IDK

What would you do if it was you? I know I'll get slated for saying this but I'm tempted to say he won't be having contact with his child until he coughs up. It's not classy or fair - but neither is what I've been through.

Has anybody got any advice? I accept that I'm really angry at the moment...

@notjustthe Oh there are no ends to which his magic money doesn't stetch to... pays half the rent, my lifestyle (don't ever go out) and any number of things. Not true obviously. He's one of those who thinks he's actually doing me a favour.

To be fair, I've never had an issue with him not paying before - but this is direct punishment for going no contact with him and putting up some boundaries. He isn't enjoying it by the look of it. The only thing I can be pleased about is not sending him angry texts - that's what he's waiting for but when you're done, you're done.

I'm going to give him another couple of days to see if he comes to his senses, and if he doesn't then, as much of a pain as it's going to be, I'll send him one last message (based on above) and get this last issue sorted and go CMS.

Maybe then I can move towards living in the land of the free again and put all this behind me. That's the dream.

And thank you so much for the replies. They have really helped me see which direction I am heading in so despite being unreasonable with my original post, I am starting to see that there are ways around it.

I still think these people ought to be held to account better for all this sort of stuff.

no my question was… is he paying for things etc directly with your son? hence your son not seeing this as a problem? (although he did see the abuse and police?)

*I still think these people ought to be held to account better for all this sort of stuff.

no one disputes that or has said otherwise

Update...

I did text him his morning to and said 'd noticed that he hadn't paid the child to support. Asked him if he was planning to.

He said he didn't get paid until tomorrow. (LIE). 20 minutes lates said he'd put the money in my account.

He reduced it by £50.

Classy.

Honestly such a class act!! At least I guess you have some payment but I would definitely just say 'oh I noticed you were £50 short am I to expect that tomorrow when you get paid?'

I'm afraid I didn't have that much dignity and told him his spite was extraordinary and he needed professional help.

Then blocked him again.

@Nousername22 Yours would have been so much better. That was really funny. Haha.

I don't blame you to be honest. I am actually very reactionary and then think of all the good things I could have/should have said afterwards 🤣

But what you actually said and did was very funny!!

@Nousername22 I'm running it past you next month. 😂

🤣🤣🤣