To ask if you work or are a SAHP..

[DontBeTight]

Just that really, those of you who have children under school age. Do you work, or do you stay at home? Or work part time? My youngest won't start school until 2026 so I'm considering giving up work and having the rest of the time full time at home with her as my income makes very little difference to the household.

Those who stay at home, do you enjoy it?

I look after mine 24/7, no school here.

People always ask what would happen if the earning partner dies, but mine would be more fucked if I died, they’d need some sort of governess 10 to 12 hours a day which really would be expensive.

@indigoskies What was your job role? I'm hoping to ultimately end up as a Child Counsellor/Therapist but concerned it's going to be hard to build up a client base?
Anything is better than working in education at the moment! It's in a mess!

I meant you prefer it. I am guessing if your husband had wanted to be a SAHD he wouldn't have stood a chance because you wanted to do it.

Do you home educate? Sorry if you said before, I can't remember.

@Whatdoy Do you Home Ed? That's pretty cool.

Ok, it wasn't me who said that. And 2 of mine are still preschoolers, so may have gone over my head somewhat.

I covered this pages ago.

Yeah. My son goes to a setting one day a week (in principle, he has only actually been once since before Christmas) but otherwise he’s at home.

@LorlieS - the training is fascinating, but it's a lot. There was an infant observation over 2 years, a toddler observation and personal therapy. The work itself can be distressing at times and not always something you can 'leave at work.' It can be hard to be involved in a horrendous Child Protection case, and then come home to your own kids, worrying about some relatively minor thing, in comparison. That's not to say it's not worthwhile and I wish you the best of luck with the training.

Yeah- he has asd (pda), severe adhd, dyslexia, dyspraxia, sensory processing disorder, a speech disorder and a chronic physical illness- we had the usual SEN saga with school for a while but at 7 he developed EBSA and we decided to remove him.

Luckily we have 3 degrees, an ma, an msc and most of a phd in the house, all in child development/education related fields so we felt confident to home ed. And he has tutors and stuff come to the house.

He's very lucky to have you Whatdoy.

Thank you. It’s only what anyone would do, we are just lucky we had options.

@Whatdoy I totally see why you made that decision. Due to budget cuts we are failing EHCP children so badly. I was originally taken on as an EHCP 1-1 (what a privilege - loved it!) The Year 6 I was employed to work with was on the brink of permanent exclusion but I supported him through until he left primary and he went on to be extremely successful in a specialist secondary. I don't think I've ever met anybody quite so gifted in maths.
But now I'm being used to cover teacher absence most of the time.
I'm.hoping my Masters will mean I can make a difference again.

It's another reason why women should never judge SAHMs unless they've walked in their shoes. There are no certainties with children, that's for sure.

I worked part time when the children were under 5, then full time from school age. I’m expecting our 3rd (unplanned on contraception) child, and this time I’m undecided on what I might like to do when the child is around one. There is quite a gap between my other 2 children, and I’ve worked my way up to a comfortable and settled position in my career… but I also feel I would miss those precious early years that I gave my other 2, if I decide to go back FT with this one. But on the other hand, taking 5 whole years out of full time work is going to potentially have a negative knock on effect for years to come. Not an easy decision

Education at the moment is not fit for purpose sadly. His school were generally pleasant but utterly useless for him.

For example I recognised he was dyslexic and told them. When I convince them to run a screening test with him they said it showed he wasn’t dyslexic. I asked the SENCO for a copy of the results which clearly indicated he is very dyslexic- they literally didn’t understand how to interpret the results of the tools they were using.

I gave up at that point and had him assessed privately.

Same. People always assume SAHPs of school age children are doing fuck all, but home education is a thing in this country and a fairly significant number of us are doing it.

In our case there are no SEN (I suspect one of my sons is on the spectrum but it doesn't come out as strongly as it would were he at school), we simply don't like the approach to education currently found in UK state schools.

@Fliopen I can see why it's on the rise, but in reality I still don't think many SAHPs are home schooling.

Certainly not the majority but a significant minority are IMO.

I was a stay at home mum for 10 years and loved it. It wasn't easy though. You need to find similar people for support.

I was a SAHP and didn’t go back to work. Principally because of a large age gap between the children and my husband working away from home for most of their younger lives.
I hosted A level students, though, to bring in some income (well worth looking into for anyone with a sixth form college nearby that takes foreign students).
I would probably be a rich woman now if everything I contributed to the home, emotional and practical, had been outsourced and paid for 😁
My husband has always been a team player and appreciates everything I’ve done over the years.

I work. For my own sanity (makes me a better less tired or frustrated mother), for my professional development but also for my pension - you need 30 years of national insurance contributions for a state pension & of course my professional one.

We also just don't have the money for me to be off work and I won't have the money when I retire either so need a good pension!

I stayed home till youngest was 6. What I didn't like was you lose your individuality. My kids went to same playgroup nursery in one building. I said to a member of staff what's my name after both kids had been in building for years. She didn't know.

Your NI contributions are paid if you get child benefit, have a child under (I think) 12, and are a sah parent. After that you need to pay it voluntarily (£50 a month last time I checked).

I have a private pension too since I don’t have a work place one.

Do you know if they are paid if you only work a day or two a week?