To ask if you work or are a SAHP..

[DontBeTight]

Just that really, those of you who have children under school age. Do you work, or do you stay at home? Or work part time? My youngest won't start school until 2026 so I'm considering giving up work and having the rest of the time full time at home with her as my income makes very little difference to the household.

Those who stay at home, do you enjoy it?

It depends on if you receive working tax credits or any UC

https://www.gov.uk/national-insurance-credits/eligibility

Absolutely love it. Watching your children grow and seeing their 'firsts' is amazing
Wouldn't want anyone else bringing my child up but me. So grateful I can spend time with them so yes it's a postive from me

Yes I do. Sounds like I will get that. Just panicked a bit!

Quit. If it’s that easy to go back into just do it and give being a SAHM a go, you can always return to work.
I work but very part time. My DS will go to school in 2026. Some days I adore (just took him swimming and he’s a complete water baby like me) but yesterday afternoon was a mental struggle.
you are SO lucky with your situation. My DP is on 30k and I’m on 13 and we are in a flat so money worries gets to me big time because we so desperately want a house and just aren’t managing to save.
definitely quit the job and see how you get on.

Yeah, I never got to see my children grow, didn’t get to see any of their firsts, and they were entirely brought up by paid childcare. Apart from the actual birth; I played absolutely no role in their upbringing.

I loved it, we are both SAHPs which was lovely to be able to take them to school together, or to family outings outside of busy holiday/school times when they were little. They're at Secondary now but it's good to be able to collect them from school and help them with their GCSE work.

Are you very wealthy? Do you have other income?

I don’t know any families where both parents stay at home.

@orangecrush we do have our own incomes and have set time aside to also be able to care for elderly parents so we ended up retiring early.

Working parents also bring up their children.

Its just childcare, not adoption. Working parents bring up their children. 😂

How silly you are.

Ah, that makes sense! It’s so hard being the sandwich generation and also dealing with work too. We were on track to be able to retire early but we have decided to work less now instead.

🤣🤣

Good luck when youve a really crap pension later in life. Either you live off benefits or off your husband? Id hate to be so financially reliant on someone else

Frankly by the time I'm of pension age I doubt a pension will be of any relevance whatsoever.

What a lovely tone you’ve adopted.

I have my own private pension from when I worked plus I received a substantial inheritance when my dad tragically died in my 20s. My husband will share his pension also.

I suppose I do rely on my husband for my regular income but he relies on me for all the unpaid work I do.

Perhaps consider being less judgemental.

I've been a SAHP, been married to a SAHP, worked full time and worked part time. The worst of the lot was being a SAHP. I've never been so bored and depressed by my day to day routine in my life. My mental health suffered badly.
The second worst was having my partner be a SAHP. The best when they were small was part time as I got the stimulation of work, didn't lose career impetus but had flexibility to be there for sports days, dentist etc and could swap days if they were ill. When they got older and I wasn't needed so much I resumed full time work from choice, because I really enjoy my job.

Yes absolutely, they are now 18 and 21, and wonder where the time has gone. Never regret it at all. To get to spend quality time with my kids.

@Islandgirl68 Are you still a "SAHP"?

No, I did some volunteering in my kids school, and with a charity. Spent four years on the school parent council. Then started temp work in 2015 to fit round school hours and then got full time permanent job in 2019.

Me and my husband decided once we had our 1st that I wanted to be home for her childhood so after taking 1 year maternity I took a 3 year career break. I got pregnant with number 2 when she was 1.5 so extended my career break a further 2 years. I was due back this February but resigned last week. Throughout my time off with the girls I found a new passion and have retrained as a doula, hypnobirthing practitioner, breastfeeding peer support volunteer, am part of the parent panel for one of our national radio stations and am 6 months into a 4 year course to become an acupuncturist. If I hadn't taken the time out I would still be in my 9-5:00 job in the NICS. Great for some but literally 100% happy with my decision not to go back.
We have made a lot of sacrifices over the years so I could be at home and going from 2 to 1 wage was tough at the start but our priorities completely changed over the years and we adapted well. Also the fact that the cost of childcare is ridiculous we would have handed over a wage to childcare anyway!!

My kids are 5 and 3 and I work full time. I did go part-time for 2 years after my youngest was born but I hated it.

This was me 100%. Felt lucky to be a SAHM with financial security but absolutely huge gap in my personal satisfaction. Back at work 4 days pw and I am loving it.

Also there are other pension/investment options than just work place pensions.

I love it! I can do whatever I want all the time.

Does your children’s father play any part in their upbringing?

DH and I work full time and DT’s started nursery at six months but we still brought them up and were the first to see them walk and their first word was “papa “. Financially we don’t need to work but wanted to.