To ask if you work or are a SAHP..

[DontBeTight]

Just that really, those of you who have children under school age. Do you work, or do you stay at home? Or work part time? My youngest won't start school until 2026 so I'm considering giving up work and having the rest of the time full time at home with her as my income makes very little difference to the household.

Those who stay at home, do you enjoy it?

@SouthLondonMum22 I have absolutely nothing to say about your life, your work, your children - nothing at all. Why would I? You have a lot to say about SAHMs. That's the difference.

Fine, preteens call you miss. But you're a TA who's husband carries the biggesg financial load. That's all great, noble profession, but absolutely female dominant, and nothing about your life appears to scream fuck the patriarchy. Get off your high horse.

I get similar but because I'm married and kept my last name. 🙄

Really?! It’s totally normal not to be married to your kids dad, not even slightly unusual (unless you’re in a fundamentalist religion or something).

and we go back to the fact that AIBU would be very, very quiet if we all had nothing to say.

Yes, I'D find it wimpy. Not that all men who choose this are wimpy. Oddly enough I don't think my opinions are indicative of how the world should be nor should they be applied in that way. That is your choice to interpret my comments in an incorrect manner, though it really isn't too difficult to see the difference.

Well I genuinely don't have anything to say about you, just because you have a job. What is there to actually say?

I don’t know many people in a long term relationship with kids who are not married, to be honest. All our friends are married.

I am most certainly not part of a fundy religious group. God no.

@Oliotya Wrong again - assumptions make an ass out of you and me!
I'm a qualified teacher with 20 years experience, working as a SEN Specialist HLTA. From September I will be also undertaking my MSc in Counselling Children and Young People.
I am bloody proud of the job I do, supporting EHCP children within mainstream classes.
When qualified and have set up an established client base I expect to be earning far more than my husband.
HTH?

I've had people say plenty to me on here about being a working mother. That's just what can happen when you share anything about your life on here.

You find men who are SAHD’s wimpy, but you also confirm that not all men who choose this are wimpy?

Are SAHM’s also wimpy?

LorlieS - I have a very similar Msc. It's why I decided to be a SAHM when the time came!

@0rangeCrush No - they're "feminine."

I've stood firm on my opinions from the get go, despite inevitably coming under fire from multiple users. No backtracking here, perhaps try to understand the comments a little better.

@indigoskies I was a SAHM bar one day when I had my two sons (not through choice). I hated it.
Can't wait to return to uni and do my masters!
Why didn't you pursue your career may I ask?
That's not a criticism whatsoever, genuinely interested.

I’m feminine as fuck me! Look at me over here, boobies and all, ironing a shirt! Then I take my vagina to the kitchen to load the dishwasher!

4 kids, work in retail 39 hr week. also an author and hope to start earning enough soon so it can be a ft thing. Miss being a sahp and we are both close to being fired anyway as kids have been sick so much this year and we’ve both been getting into trouble. Arguing more plus kids are missing out on doing classes outside school which hilariously we couldn’t afford when I didn’t work. I’d have loved my job pre kids but now I just feel old and wrecked. Nobody else there has kids. I love them all but it’s hard that nobody gets it or understands why I’m just broken!!

AND? Do you want a gold star. Still not making a difference to the patriarchy though are you.

You do realise every one of us would have had a job or even career before having kids? You can't lecture people based on a job you used to have (again female dominant), or degree you have yet to do. There's no need to get defensive, as I said, TA is a noble profession, but it's not sticking one to the patriarchy. I'm not judging you, but you're hardly a super feminist.

@BreeBacon Absolutely I am.
What do you suggest? 😂

Are some posters on here actually SAHDs, pretending to be women? Why all the outrage, just because one poster PERSONALLY prefers a man who is more traditional in terms of wanting to provide for his family financially? Is this now a crime?

Are those questions or statements? Your writing style is confusing.

Maybe it’s geographical- round here it’s really common, definitely wouldn’t raise an eyebrow never mind a question.

@Oliotya I had no idea only women who earn megabucks in male-dominated roles could be feminists?!
Thanks for clarifying that for me.

I didn't take my DHs name. I've never even worn a wedding ring. Can I get a gold star too? Even though I'm "just" a mummy*? Or am automatically disqualified because I haven't got a career at the moment? That's how it works isn't it?