To ask if you work or are a SAHP..

[DontBeTight]

Just that really, those of you who have children under school age. Do you work, or do you stay at home? Or work part time? My youngest won't start school until 2026 so I'm considering giving up work and having the rest of the time full time at home with her as my income makes very little difference to the household.

Those who stay at home, do you enjoy it?

Other comments are simply just opinions too.

My age is irrelevant.

@BreeBacon You feel "ganged up" on because we've called you out on your ridiculously stereotypical and sexist viewpoints.
Not everyone on here has to agree with each other on everything - take myself and @Whatdoy for example - but we will stand together when we feel it necessary.
Lots of us - both working mums and SAHM's - feel your views are unacceptable.

If you don’t give a hoot about it then why are you here?

You know, in the real world, opposites often attract. It's hardly unusual to find couples who are drawn to each other because they balance each other out in some way. My husband and I are very different in some ways, but yet it works (well we've been together 30 years which is not bad going these days). I guess we both felt like we had the better deal 😆. He enjoys his work and thrives on that. I derived more satisfaction in life from having the freedom to focus on my kids, without the distraction of a job. That's how it is for many couples and it just works when it works. So what?

Disagreeing with my views if fine. Insulting me and suggesting my kids are being raised incorrectly not so much.... But I'm not made of glass.
I have said multiple times throughout this thread what works for one doesn't work for another. You don't need to ACCEPT my views, I don't think I have suggested anyone should and I am not looking for ACCEPTANCE, so you can think I am unacceptable all you like.

Nobody has a problem with that.

The issue is reducing women and men to stereotypes based purely on their genitals.

If a woman wants to stay at home; fine. If a man wants to stay at home; equally fine.

To claim that housework and childcare are “feminine” and providing financial security is “masculine” is where the issue lies. It minimises women (as a whole) to little more than vessels to provide babies and comfort for the benefit of men; and men than little more than worker ants. When really; people should do what suits their family best regardless of their genders.

Even if you are in a family where the female is a SAHP and the male works; you don’t have to believe in “stereotypical” roles and “feminine and masculine” roles.

'If you don’t give a hoot about it then why are you here?'

Because I look back on childbirth, baby stage, toddler, school, teens and all the different types of mums and dads and see that people have all kinds of roles and phases in life. Whst matters to you at 30 may not matter at 50. It's better to take people as they come.

Exactly.

If there is a marriage where a woman wants to take a 'stereotypical feminine role' because that comes more naturally to her, and a man identifies as 'provider', well that's how they feel. What are you going to do? Match in and tell them they have to pretend to be something they're not?

Yes , also so boring being at home.

Nothing at all.

But if it comes up here? I will share my thoughts as we all have on this thread.

@indigoskies I encourage you to go back and read what was said about SAHDs being "unmasculine", "unattractive" and "wimpy."
Disgusting.

It’s almost like the answer was right there in my post.

@0rangeCrush

'Even if you are in a family where the female is a SAHP and the male works; you don’t have to believe in “stereotypical” roles and “feminine and masculine” roles.'

And if someone does believe in it, what is it to you.... I don't care whether you're a bra burning man hater or a religious submissive wife. It doesn't affect my life. Maybe you should stop being so invested in other women's choices.

Ds is in secondary and dd is starting school this year.

I'm a sahm and I will be for another few years yet.

I'll maybe find something part time in the next couple of years.

I didn't say SAHDs were unattractive. I said (I personally) would find that unattractive in my husband. I also said (I personally) think the ROLE is a bit wimpy and not particularly masculine. That doesn't mean ALL SAHDs are ugly wimps overall.

Talk about taking words out of context.

I think it's rather strange that people have taken my preferences so personally.....
Looks like some underlying projection going on here.

No, but when you speak of people who choose different lifestyles as you in such vile ways on a public forum (unattractive, feminine and wimpy were direct quotes from yourself) then it leaves yourself open to people vehemently disagreeing with you.

Nobody was critical of you until you opened your mouth and let vile hate spill out.

@BreeBacon Because the collective choices we make as women DO affect all of our lives in the long-term.
If nobody makes a stand against the patriarchy and fails to challenge its assumptions, where does that leave us? Worse still is when the patriarchy is further strengthened by women who seemingly support its stance on inequality.

Thought it was meant to be a job? 🤔

Just copying and pasting my response to a similar comment above.

I didn't say SAHDs were unattractive. I said (I personally) would find that unattractive in my husband. I also said (I personally) think the ROLE is a bit wimpy and not particularly masculine. That doesn't mean ALL SAHDs are ugly wimps overall.

Talk about taking words out of context.

With everyone shrugging saying ''who cares'' and nothing ever changing.

Good thing not everyone feels that way.

2 kids, 4 and 8.

with both I took a year of Maternity leave and then went back p/t (3 days) until they started school then went up to f/t.

we need the money, I like my job, and I need to maintain my professional registration. So staying at home for any extended period wasn’t possible.

My husband cooks and cleans. I better tell him to cut his balls off then.

He doesn’t need to, they will naturally shrivel up and fall off over time. And then @BreeBacon wont find him attractive (even if he looks like Idris Elba) which I’m sure will absolutely devastate him to the point of tears.