To ask if you work or are a SAHP..

[DontBeTight]

Just that really, those of you who have children under school age. Do you work, or do you stay at home? Or work part time? My youngest won't start school until 2026 so I'm considering giving up work and having the rest of the time full time at home with her as my income makes very little difference to the household.

Those who stay at home, do you enjoy it?

@Whatdoy But you mustn't say they don't have a job?

When I was a SAHM for almost 20 years, I was obviously unemployed, yes. So what?

LorlieS · Today 18:11

@Whatdoy But you mustn't say they don't have a job?

Who?

"unemployed" is different to "not in paid employment" according to many official forms I have filled in.
"Unemployed" means you are job searching and claiming unemployment benefits etc - so will be on some official statistics somewhere.
"Not in paid employment" means just that.

why? We sah parents don’t have a job? In the sense of ‘a job’ generally referring to paid employment (as opposed to ‘unemployment’).

Unless you mean a job to do in general? Everyone has millions of those, whether they have a paid job or not… washing, tax returns, taking the bins out etc

That’s true- some things do list ‘unemployed’ as one option and something like ‘home maker’ as a separate one.

It doesn’t matter either way.

@Whatdoy There was a thread on here asking if being a SAHP should be classed as a job? People that said it wasn't were flamed and told they were being disrespectful!

Then 99% of threads on here wouldn't exist. AIBU is largely about discussing and debating other people's situations/scenarios.

If I put something on here about my marriage and someone disagreed, of course I'd expect someone to respond to it. It's how it works.

As it's only temporary I'm assuming you're DC will be starting school in September 2026.

2.5 years isn't much in the grand scheme of things work wise but priceless for you and your DC.

If you can afford it;do it.

@Whatdoy it matters in the way of statistics I suppose. If a town has 10 000 residents and 3000 of those are "unemployed" - as in searching for work and on unemployment benefits then it means almost a third of the population is out of work and investment into new industries and businesses are needed.
But if it's actually 500 people "unemployed" and 2500 "not in paid employment" (but financially supported by a spouse, inheritance, lotto win... whatever) then the town is economically doing quite well.
It's all about statistics and economics really.

I didn’t see that thread, but ‘job’ has a wide ranging definition, so probably both sides were correct based on the definition they were using.

If my daughter or son grew up with those sexist views, I would have failed as a parent.

Oh yeah, it matters in that sense, I just mean it doesn’t matter in a grand sense because there isn’t anything wrong with being unemployed and looking for work or unemployed because they don’t need to work.

Being referred to as ‘unemployed’ is not an insult unless you consider people who are looking for work and getting benefits as something to look down on, which they aren’t.

@Whatdoy I agree. Definitely not something to look down on.
Unemployed
Employed
SAHP
Living off Grandpa's inheritance.
Who really cares? Does it matter? It doesn't.

@SouthLondonMum22 -"Then 99% of threads on here wouldn't exist. AIBU is largely about discussing and debating other people's situations/scenarios. "

Not to this ridiculous extent it isn't.

I disagree that it's ridiculous.

Yes of course I am unemployed. I don't have an occupation but I do have many 'jobs/tasks/work' to do in my daily life. Can't imagine why any SAHP would be offended by being called unemployed, it's simply a fact.

Of course it's ridiculous to endlessly pontificate about other people's lives and what matters to them. You have literally no idea.

If pp has an issue with me, she's perfectly capable of speaking up for herself.

She's probably lost the will to live by now.

Which I have done. It's not for you to gatekeep how other people take part on a thread.

Getting close 😂

Well, exactly. You can hold your own just fine and people can comment as they wish on a thread, including myself.

Ok so, perhaps don't suggest someone else shouldn't get involved in my support then, when I have been truly ganged up on by different working mums over an opinion. In fact these last few pages pretty much sums up how a lot of working mums think they can dictate how other women should live their lives!

Are you quite young @SouthLondonMum22? By the time you're my age (50) you really won't give a hoot about any of this because tiime flies, life is short, and the most important thing is that people can be honest and authentic as themselves and with their husbands / wives / partners.