To ask if you work or are a SAHP..

[DontBeTight]

Just that really, those of you who have children under school age. Do you work, or do you stay at home? Or work part time? My youngest won't start school until 2026 so I'm considering giving up work and having the rest of the time full time at home with her as my income makes very little difference to the household.

Those who stay at home, do you enjoy it?

Sorry to tell you, but he can’t be male because he has been cosplaying as a woman for one day per week. No manly man would do such things.

Don’t get me wrong; my partner did get sick of it fast and went back to work after about 18 months. It’s at that point I noticed his shoulders getting broader, his facial hair started growing, his breasts gradually reduced and his testicles descended again.

@0rangeCrush You're being utterly ridiculous now and spiteful too. If I had a career orientated daughter I'd be pleased, same as a son.

'My own children will grow up to believe that they can grow up to do whatever job they want, regardless of their gender'
As will mine.

I also don't believe I have stated ANYWHERE, ANYTHING regarding the expectations I have for my kids. SO kindly take your hypotheticals and assumptions and stick them in the proverbial. Can't imagine why you're getting so hysterical.

Of course not. We can spot a fundamentalist when we see one.

Absolutely no spite - no idea why would feel like that; except maybe that you aren’t very resistant to criticism?

You said you believed in gender roles and that men who cared for children were not masculine. You then refused to acknowledge if men who did “feminine” jobs in a paid capacity were also “feminine”

So if your son chooses to be a SAHD you would view him as “feminine” which you have also termed as an unattractive quality.

You are the one who is getting hysterical; on the other hand I am finding it quite hysterical watching you trip over yourself.

No I was correcting my error, before replying. I just didn't get the chance to before you jumped down my throat. Who's the bigger arsehole here, I'd say the person throwing out insults because they don't agree with another persons view. Grow up.

Where did I insult you?

You are the one calling my partner “feminine” and “unambitious” which are pretty insulting IMO.

I think some people are putting 1 and 1 together and making 10 on here. There is no need to mock @BreeBacon. She has been honest about what SHE is attracted to in a man and the dynamic in HER marriage which is natural to her and her husband. She actually doesn't need to justify anything. She is not the one telling others how to live their lives or how their children will turn out. People should be able to discuss without resorting to pettiness and insults.

'What does enthesis mean? Is that a special word that only non-ambitious unemployed people use?'

Not spiteful? No?

I haven't 'tripped over' myself once. I've stuck to my guns on my opinion throughout. Just because I won't engage in your silly game of hypotheticals, that means I'm contradicting myself?

You literally called me an arsehole.

I also didn't specifically call YOUR partner feminine. I expressed my old fashioned views on gender roles. But if you have taken it so personally and the shoe fits....

You called yourself unambitious and said a SAHD would be unemployed - those aren’t name calling, are they? Nor is it spiteful to repeat your own words back at you. Afterall; you stand by your opinion. It sounds like you are insecure, to be honest.

No one is making 10. Her views are insulting and they need to be called out every single time because they enable inequality.

Of course she doesn't have to justify her choices but she put her choices on AIBU so they will absolutely be challenged.

SouthLondonMum22 · I disagree. If I said I don't find men with blond hair attractive, or whatever, that is not the same thing as saying men with blond hair are unattractive. People are entitled to be attracted to whoever they want for whatever reasons.

I didn’t call you an arsehole. I said if you answered the questions it would make you sound like an arsehole. You chose not to answer the questions.

You said that men who stayed at home were not feminine. How far do your old fashioned views on gender roles go? Should women also not vote?

My partner is probably more masculine than yours; and my partner is attracted to ambitious women with aspirations; so no skin off our noses.

Finding someone unattractive is not the same as questioning their gender based purely on their role in the family.

No. She said she would find her husband less masculine if he didn't have an instinct to financially provide.

This has nothing to do with you or your husband 0rangeCrush.

The unambitious part isn't the problem. I absolutely did say I lacked ambition in a career so I'm certainly not taking offense to that. You know full well how sarcastic you were being in suggesting my simple error (SPECIAL WORD) is some how indicative of my intelligence and that could be related to my status as a SAHM. Also extremely petty to pick that out. You also suggested I was an ignorant arsehole. So you can play the innocent card if you like, but it is there in black and white.

I'm not insecure at all, but you sound like a gaslighter for sure.

Your example isn't based on sexism.

@SouthLondonMum22 - so people have to deny who and what they are attracted to because 'sexism?' Good luck with that.

People can be attracted to who and whatever they like but if it is sexist then other people aren't going to ignore that.

What the hell has women voting got do with anything?! Of, course I believe in equal rights and opportunities. I Just happen to prefer a traditional set up. You don't need to have a nose bleed about it.

That last statement....'probably more masculine.....
And you're calling me insecure????😂This isn't a competition love.

And if it was no skin off your nose why are you getting so heated about a stranger having a different view.

.

'People can be attracted to who and whatever they like but if it is sexist then other people aren't going to ignore that.'

You need to live and let live. Not everyone gravitates to the type of marriage you presumably have. Why would they? Some people may think your marriage is 'sexist'. That's your business.

'My partner is probably more masculine than yours; and..,"

Blimey.

Interesting that @BreeBacon referred to a SAHD as unemployed. Would you refer to yourself as "unemployed" then, @BreeBacon?

I think she did refer to herself as unemployed- stay at home parents are all unemployed by the definition that people usually mean when they use that word.