Ungrateful breakfast

[Jckf]

Name changed as I’ve mentioned it to a couple of people. I don’t know DPs Mum massively yet as we haven’t been together long, she’s come up to our city to visit and is staying at my house along with DP as I have a spare room.

Last night before bed she asked me if I wanted a hot breakfast making before work, I told her no thanks I will just have my usual weetabix. Woke up this morning to her at my door with breakfast… a weetabix with two poached eggs on top (no milk). I couldn’t bring myself to eat it because it looked disgusting. DP said don’t worry I will tell her you don’t like eggs on a morning and you can have your normal breakfast and took it downstairs. 5 minutes later she reappeared, two weetabix with crème fraiche and raisins. Again, vile. I just wanted weetabix with some milk in the microwave.

I don’t know her well enough to ask her to not fuck about with my breakfast and I want her to feel comfortable in my house, but I’m at work now and starving because I ended up leaving without eating. I do want DP to comment to her that I had said last night I didn’t want her making me breakfast. He just thinks it’s funny and started telling me the crap combinations they suffered as kids.

AIBU in wanting DP to nip this in the bud now or should I laugh along?

If shebreally wants to contribute to breakfast perhaps you could suggest that she makes a pot of tea or coffee. It's hard to go wrong with those....isn't it??

That’s quite sweet, if bonkers. Assuming she’s not there for ages, I’d not make a big thing of it.

But this is mumsnet so the consensus will probably be that you should go no contact with her forthwith. 😂

Bless her. She sounds like she's either trying to take care of you, or to show her gratitute for you letting her stay with you. I wouldn't leave this up to your partner. Just say it's very sweet of her to make the effort, but you like to prepare your own breakfast.

AIBU in wanting DP to nip this in the bud now or should I laugh along?

you nip it in the bud

Its lovely that you want to help with breakfast - but I really don't want you to make me breakfast again and will be insulted if you do thank, if you'd like to help out ask and im sure I can find something productive for both of us

Why don't you get up and make breakfast for your guest?

Good morning DPs Mum.
Unfortunately I don't really enjoy my Weetabix with anything other than warm milk - you know, like weaning babies.
🤣
Sorry OP, eggs and creme fraiche are just as wrong too.

I hope you were dipping cereal in a nice runny egg when you typed that!

whilst it makes her happy it is overstepping as she is trying to get someone to eat food in a location they don’t necessarily want to eat in, eat food they don’t want and at a time that is not necessarily when she wants to eat.
offering is a nice thing to do but then forcing it on someone once they’ve declined your offer is inconsiderate and makes the other person uncomfortable.

Not just eggs on weetabix, but eggs on weetabix presented to you at your bedroom door while you're trying to get ready to go to work. Were you supposed to eat them there and then, perched on the edge of the bed?

If she knocks on the bedroom door tomorrow, don't answer!

It’s an oblique hint for a grandchild, ASAP. She’s saying “Hurry up while your eggs are still fresh, or you’ll dry up like this Weetabix and it’ll be too late”.

Where I'm from, respect is earned, not automatically given.

If someone is happy to cook for people, it should be that they are happy to cook what people want for them. There is something wrong with someone who justifies cooking something that the person they cook it for doesn't like. That means the "cook" is only considering themself, not the person they're cooking for. Excusing it as "they meant well" puts the excuser on the side of the person who has not actually considered the needs or wants of the person they have decided to do a favour for.

Given the OP had stated she didn't want anything, it was completely overstepping boundaries for the DPs mum to decide to cook something anyway. She'd already been told this was unnecessary and then decided in any case she would make herself completely at home in OPs kitchen, disregarding the fact that ingredients she used may have been required for something later.

OP I would be very careful here. Your DP is likely to have been brought up with a lack of boundaries too, especially given he is excusing his mother. You will need firm boundaries around him as well as her.

😂

Probably because she is busy getting ready for work and has already been kind enough to offer her place and is cooking tonight. Don’t try and make the op out to be a bad host when she is being very generous letting her stay.

This is over stepping all boundaries. It sounds like her first time in your home, yet she’s rifling through your cupboards and not listening to you when you replied that you didn’t want her to make your breakfast. Tell her straight. In way it could be a blessing if DP is not “the one” as she’ll be a nightmare MIL

This far I can see why you're annoyed but it seems she's trying to be helpful.

But yes, you do need to put a stop to it, because it's also irritating and she needs to respect what you've asked. He needs to stop laughing at it.

Unless she's trying to split you up

She’s trying god love her
Don’t rock the boat by saying something this early on,
What nationality is she that she Dosen’t know that milk goes on weetabix not eggs😂…..I thought everyone knew this

I'm sitting here actually laughing out just thinking about that!!!

What on earth!! Surely you'd know not to put poached eggs on top of Weetabix?!

😱😂🤪

My goodness, all this fuss (plus the f word) over a couple of eggs. Just eat them and be quiet.

The only people who I really want to make themselves at home in my home (other than me and DP) are my mum and brother, who are welcome whenever, whatever.

Everyone else needs to behave like a guest when they're here.

She's overstepped the mark, and you need to make that clear to her.

you are being unreasonable wanting your husband to nip this in the bud.
Do it your self and make it clear that she is not to make your breakfast.

I can't stand weetabix and would never heat them up in the microwave with milk but people have different ideas and that's yours. Fruit and creme fraiche is a much healthier option than the eggs and you could have found it nice. Get DP to explain. Personally, I'd thank her for doing breakfast and eat it - if I were your DP's mother I would not even offer to make breakfast, I would expect you, my host, to make mine. I might make dinner, but probably not, as it is not my kitchen.

Exactly, she's a guest. OP should get up and make her breakfast.

Rather patronising. And one makes one's guests breakfast, or at least points them in the direction of what's available. Were I DP's mother I would worry about my DS's choice.

Eggs on weetabix sounds very strange! Is there cultural food differences involved? We used to have visitors to our workplace canteen that loved a bit of custard on their mince 🤮

When she brought you breakfast and you sent your dp downstairs, why did he not just bring the weetabix back up (or you go down?) rather than wait for her to serve you breakfast in your room again? That sounds a bit weird... what's going on with the dynamics here?

vile hardly, get a grip OP 🙄