AIBU to want more photos from my child’s nursery

[HelloWorld2577]

To keep it brief. I’ve had multiple children attend this nursery over the past 5 years. My daughter is now there and has been for the past two years.

When my other children attended the nursery they would do daily posts which included a mixture of individual posts with photos of just my child and group posts where you could see what all the class were doing. Either way they were updating the app (tapestry) daily or at the very least 3 out of 5 days a week.

My older child left there last year and since the posts have really deteriorated. I’ve just had a look and since coming back from Christmas (my daughter attends full time) there have only been 2 group posts, one of those posts she wasn’t in it, and one you could see the back of her head.

I know it may sound trivial but I find it very frustrating that they charge £75 a day and I don’t even get to see what my daughters doing at nursery, I also have mum guilt for working full time & some mornings she struggles to go in so would put me at ease to just see what she’s doing. I raised it with management after my older child left and said I wasn’t getting many photos or updates on the app and they simply said they don’t have time to do individual posts now so they are trying to take photos of all children to post on one group post. This itself I find an issue because there are usually between 50 and 80 photos per group post and then I have to go through every photo like a detective searching for the side of my child’s head! It’s frustrating. when I raised it previously they said they were trying to do a couple of group posts a week but as I said above they’ve only done 2 posts over the last 3 weeks.

AIBU? I really want to raise it again but I don’t want to be one of those parents!! I understand they’re busy but if every other nursery do it why can’t they? It just seems lazy?!

How do I bring it up AGAIN?!

Maybe they want to just breathe for a minute! I really can't understand this photo obsession! Children exist. They existed before there were cameras, let alone camera phones. They won't disappear if they're not snapped every hour of every day. Childcare workers are there to care for, educate and supervise kids. Not waste time faffing about with photos.

leading on from @Whinge comment... I’d also rather have 2 members of staff supervising 8 children together for health and safety. Not distracted by a screen. I’m a support worker and do a lot of training in a lot of areas, one being dysphagia, I deal with this daily at work 3 meals a day plus snacks. Choking is serious and in that 5 seconds a photo is being taken a child could be seriously choking and need medical assistance! I think I’d rather have all the children safe than a photo

@Italiandreams I don’t use it as a practitioner but when I did used to be a room leader I would have a clipboard and a stack of paper forms. I’d have to sit and fill in all of the details for all of the children and cross reference paperwork from the nappy chart etc and write a small blurb about what everyone had done. The difference was a stack of paperwork Infront of my face not an iPad - the admin still exists and the burden is still there no matter how you record it. You will get parents ringing the office to ask if they have ate/slept/been for a poo and the manager has to go from room to room asking and making phone calls. When the parents are given the information in real time it cuts a lot of that out

@Chickenkeev its a quick photo but it makes a difference. In olden times I would have had to go to the phone box and call the nursery and bother them to ask how she is, now the information is in my pocket. Business is transforming digitally and this is a part of it. If you don’t like it then don’t use an app or send your child to an individual nursery that manage things the way you like them. Maybe they will deliver updates via pigeon
The OP is paying for a service and part of that service is an app with photos and that’s not what she is getting. If British Gas promise you heating and your house is cold then you would be rightly annoyed by it.

But you shouldn't be doing this when children are sitting and eating. You should be talking to them, supervising them, helping Timmy to manage being in the room because he has sensory aversions to food, making sure that Jimmy isn't taking food from his friends plate because he has a dairy allergy. Modelling use of cutlery. Encouraging Matthew to sit down because he's in a high chair at home and the novelty of being able to get up and wonder at meal times is huge. Also - making sure Julie sits at meal times because she doesn't have to at home. Taking Jane to the toilet because she's toilet training and has had an accident. Plus handing over to Jillys grandma who always picks up at 12 when she finishes work. Etc etc.

It's up to you what you do but when they go to school you won't have that option. You have to learn to let go or it'll be a short sharp shock for you.

Honestly OP, get a grip. The 'service' you're paying for is childcare, not a bloody photo shoot. Doesn't really matter why they used to do it, they've told you now they don't have time. As an EYP I am rushed off my feet for 10 hours a day, the last thing I need is a parent whinging that they didn't get a photo 🙄. Taking a photo may only take 2 minutes but uploading and linking it for multiple children takes a lot longer, and I for one would prefer to actually look after the children in my care than sit there on an ipad. And remember, you might pay £1500 a month, but the majority of the staff will be on minimum wage.

Maybe they have kids who can't be photographed for personal reasons? Maybe a higher percentage of parents have declined to permission to share their kids image? Loads of reasons why, maybe just concentrate on your DD being given a good level of care instead

LOL. Says someone who's never worked with small children in any capacity.... And u no doubt also probably think teachers finish work at 3 and are amazed they complain when they get so much holiday. And wonder who they won't provide work for your child when I take them out of school for a holiday.

We have a similar system at our nursery and like you photos have decreased. I asked the room manager about it and she said the room is now at capacity and so they don't have as much time.

Frankly I was fine with that, I'd much rather the staff were spending their time hands on with the children as opposed to looking at them through a camera.

I get a handover at the end of the day, so I hear about what they've been doing then

It wouldn't bother me, I'd much rather they spent their time actively with the children and in planning/evaluating etc than taking and uploading photographs.
It's a relatively new thing to expect loads of photos, and another thing that takes up time which could be better used.

This! ⬆️ Surely you want the staff to be spending their time actually caring for your child & ensuring they're having a great day, rather than trying to keep on top of individual photo opportunities all day long? You're being a bit ridiculous.

@Chickenkeev I don’t need pictures of my children all day everyday. I have a phone and house full of them and I know what they look like. It was an example of why people like to use apps for photos. It was one of the benefits, it’s not just endless blurry photos of her or the back of her head it was a nice gesture on a morning where she had been upset. Had I not received the photo the world would not have ended

So it's no bother if you don't get any then. Cos the staff are working. Cool.

I would rather they were spending time with the children, not spending time on taking photos. My child’s nursery doesn’t use an online photo thing at all; you get a piece of paper at the end of the day with times of naps, what they ate etc, written on it.

How shit is that for the kids though?
Sitting at a what should be a social time, and one of their adults is zoned out staring at an ipad.
No chatting with them, no eye contact, no helping them with their food or monitoring safety.
Most people would judge a parent in a cafe doing the same thing.

I've also worked in a nursery that does loads of photos and I know exactly how it goes.
The adult with the screen inevitably ignores the kids or gets frustrated at being interrupted while they try to get the job done - children get used to having an ipad in between them and the adult they're trying to interact with.
Photos to an extent end up being a bit staged, get the right angle, ensure the child looks happy, get them to build that tower again so mummy can see.
Some children hate having a camera shoved in their face and being told to smile multiple times a day.

It's not just the time spent taking and uploading the photos - it's also keeping track of who's had a photo, has everyone had the same amount, oh no the last 4 photos of Bobby he's been playing with cars parents are going to complain he's not doing lots of different things. Jane is always scowling, she hates photos everyone needs to try to get a smiley one of her today. The manager's fuming that Lizzy's mum has emailed to complain she's only getting photos of the back of her head etc etc.

Presumably the prices were more reasonable back then as well though. For £75 a day I want to know what my kid is doing. Also when there weren't photos and apps places tended to at least have like a home diary that they'd write a general note. Personally we left a nursery last year because for the price it just wasn't worth the lack of communication. My little girl goes to the preschool attached to the primary school now where the classes are bigger and things seem a lot more hectic but they still manage to put photos up, mainly individual posts, as well as a note in a home diary every single day. And I'm paying half the price. They also do way more parent evenings/family days where we go in and see the work they've done have a picnic with the class or see a show they've done etc.

Private nurseries just seem to be trying to charge as much as they can whilst doing the bare minimum recently

How are you supposed to assess if your child is being given a good level of care when they're pre speech, staff are too busy at the end of the day to have a chat about how they've been, you can't go into the nursery and now they've stopped doing updates on the app. When my child was at the private nursery we had absolutely no idea whether she'd been doing activities and engaging all day or been sat in a corner crying it was anyone's guess.

My little girl goes to the preschool attached to the primary school now where the classes are bigger and things seem a lot more hectic but they still manage to put photos up, mainly individual posts, as well as a note in a home diary every single day.

Your child's preschool provides a handwritten note in a home diary every day, for at least 20+ children? That's ridiculous and such a waste of time.

I think that's a really depressing post tbh. "Business is transforming digitally" - well yes it is but I don't view caring for my children as something that I wasn't enhanced by technology. Those wonderful women are there to look after my children when I can't, and that means talking to them, playing with them and keeping them safe. None of which can be enhanced by technology. I certainly don't use tech in my parenting.

The odd time one of my DC has been upset at drop off, we've had a quick text to say they've settled which is much quicker than taking a photo and uploading to an app.

As a parent I think this is faintly horrifying tbh. A child choked and died in a nursery near me recently. Meal times are one of the times children should be most closely supervised for safety as well as learning social niceties.

Btw as I said above, our DC (5 and 3) go/went to a nursery that has never had an app. They brought one in for invoicing recently, I thought parents would be hoping it would be used for photos etc but actually everyone had the same reaction as us and said they hoped it didn't go that way because it's not what we value in a childcare setting.

@Tiredmama53 do you think they would send a photo of your child crying in a corner or a photo where they managed to capture the one smile of the day!

The photos shared for parents were part of the evidence that EYFS practitioners had to provide under the guidelines. Now it is realised that this additional workload did nothing/was detrimental to child development so it had been reduced so the staff can actually spend time with the children.

The poster who mentioned above how one member of staff would sit with an iPad whilst the children ate. Would it be better for the children’s development and enjoyment of nursery if that member of staff actually interacted with the children?

I suspect a lot of these parents who love daily photos, home diaries and individual updates are going to be in for quite a shock when their child starts school.