AIBU to want more photos from my child’s nursery

[HelloWorld2577]

To keep it brief. I’ve had multiple children attend this nursery over the past 5 years. My daughter is now there and has been for the past two years.

When my other children attended the nursery they would do daily posts which included a mixture of individual posts with photos of just my child and group posts where you could see what all the class were doing. Either way they were updating the app (tapestry) daily or at the very least 3 out of 5 days a week.

My older child left there last year and since the posts have really deteriorated. I’ve just had a look and since coming back from Christmas (my daughter attends full time) there have only been 2 group posts, one of those posts she wasn’t in it, and one you could see the back of her head.

I know it may sound trivial but I find it very frustrating that they charge £75 a day and I don’t even get to see what my daughters doing at nursery, I also have mum guilt for working full time & some mornings she struggles to go in so would put me at ease to just see what she’s doing. I raised it with management after my older child left and said I wasn’t getting many photos or updates on the app and they simply said they don’t have time to do individual posts now so they are trying to take photos of all children to post on one group post. This itself I find an issue because there are usually between 50 and 80 photos per group post and then I have to go through every photo like a detective searching for the side of my child’s head! It’s frustrating. when I raised it previously they said they were trying to do a couple of group posts a week but as I said above they’ve only done 2 posts over the last 3 weeks.

AIBU? I really want to raise it again but I don’t want to be one of those parents!! I understand they’re busy but if every other nursery do it why can’t they? It just seems lazy?!

How do I bring it up AGAIN?!

To pick up on the “mum guilt”
comment.

Does your partner/husband have “dad guilt” about working to provide for your family and complain about the lack of photos in the same way?

No, thought not. How about some equality in 2024 rather than the continued boring “mum guilt” narrative.

How on earth did parents manage before all these flippin’ apps & social media? Don’t understand the need to have constant pictures…you know what your child looks like…you see your child at home every day, it’s not like you are halfway across the world and don’t see her for months.

I didn't have guilt, apart from say, the first week in the creche. I had never expected to be SAHM, my own mother worked etc. So it wasn't a drama. I just felt the wrench leaving her when i'd had the whole maternity leave off.

I don’t get the “mum guilt” thing and never have. I’ve been in some “traditional” parts of the world when traveling - a really high % of toddler care is provided by older children, as mothers tend to lose interest in their kids rather suddenly when they get pregnant with the next one. The SAHM setup with mothers isolated at home alone and trying to cope singlehanded with a baby and a toddler is pretty unnatural and it’s not surprising women find it stressful and frustrating in most cases.

I work for a very well known website regarding day nurseries in the reviews section.
Seriously, if the biggest problem you have is “no photos” then realistically you don’t have any problems.

The constant refrain here is “if only takes 10 minutes to take the photos” but it doesn’t does it… you’ve then got to take the time to upload all the photos to the app, in the right group/room area.
Remember every child with a safeguarding issue, make sure they’re not in the back ground.
Then the parent would moan their child isn’t happy enough… it’s WAY more than “5-10 minutes taking photos”

As a parent I would FAR rather the staff were looking after my child and interacting than taking photos.

Slighly off topic ... I never understand the comparison to dads, even dads that love their kids half-arse it, let alone the many, many useless ones. Let's not try and lower the parenting bar to be equal, it's not a race to the bottom. There's nothing wrong with wanting the best for your child and feeling guilt if you can't always do that. If you never feel guilty then you must be quite a selfish person.

I get a maximum of 2 photos a month.... couldn't care less. Whilst it's nice, it's not important. Wouldn't bother me if we had no photos tbh

DD4 is happy at nursery, merrily goes in, chats about her day there, the staff like her and know her well, support her learning... That's what is key for me.

That's complete BS. We read about shit dads here because ppl come here with their problems. If i came along and put up an aibu about how totally great my H is i'd get my arse handed to me. But he is amazing and i couldn't cope without him. And he is a fantastic dad to a pre teen girl, he is navigating this like a pro. He is only being what a dad should be, but he puts his heart and soul into it and their relationship reflects that.

If you think primary school children will tell you all about their day you are seriously deluding yourself . The most alot of parents get is it was ok or we didnt do anything 😆 As for nursery do you want lots of pictures or do you want high quality care and interactions? I know which I prefer.