AIBU to want more photos from my child’s nursery

[HelloWorld2577]

To keep it brief. I’ve had multiple children attend this nursery over the past 5 years. My daughter is now there and has been for the past two years.

When my other children attended the nursery they would do daily posts which included a mixture of individual posts with photos of just my child and group posts where you could see what all the class were doing. Either way they were updating the app (tapestry) daily or at the very least 3 out of 5 days a week.

My older child left there last year and since the posts have really deteriorated. I’ve just had a look and since coming back from Christmas (my daughter attends full time) there have only been 2 group posts, one of those posts she wasn’t in it, and one you could see the back of her head.

I know it may sound trivial but I find it very frustrating that they charge £75 a day and I don’t even get to see what my daughters doing at nursery, I also have mum guilt for working full time & some mornings she struggles to go in so would put me at ease to just see what she’s doing. I raised it with management after my older child left and said I wasn’t getting many photos or updates on the app and they simply said they don’t have time to do individual posts now so they are trying to take photos of all children to post on one group post. This itself I find an issue because there are usually between 50 and 80 photos per group post and then I have to go through every photo like a detective searching for the side of my child’s head! It’s frustrating. when I raised it previously they said they were trying to do a couple of group posts a week but as I said above they’ve only done 2 posts over the last 3 weeks.

AIBU? I really want to raise it again but I don’t want to be one of those parents!! I understand they’re busy but if every other nursery do it why can’t they? It just seems lazy?!

How do I bring it up AGAIN?!

As someone who works in Early Years (local authority so luckily fees are low and entitlement like this is less) you’ve had multiple people telling you that photos aren’t an essential part of the job, that there’s a staffing crisis, not to mention staff annual leave and sickness, and that you’re expectations are unreasonable.

Yet you’re clinging on for dear life defending yourself.

If you actually read up on the guidelines, photos home are a privilege, not an essential part of the job. Luckily here in Scotland we’re unionised and this was made very clear during pay negotiations. Our job is the education and care of the children, and documenting education for evidence for external inspection.

If you receive quarterly progress reports that document curricular progress and care plans then that’s all you’re legally entitled to and the nursery are legally obligated to do.

Daily pictures are nice but it’s not in anyone’s roles or remit. When staffing is short, or staff start working to rule, that’s the first thing to go. It’s a huge pressure when working with large numbers of children, many with additional needs, to also spoon feed needy parents. Don’t be that parent that staff silently roll their eyes about when you leave, or sometimes pop to the toilet to avoid you when they see you coming in.

Absolutely, but for the majority of children, by the time they get to school they are able to communicate verbally and that helps you as a parent learn about their day and how happy they are there because they can tell you. My 13 month old only has a handful of words, he's no way to tell me that he's happy etc. I can see from the photos how happy he is and how attached he is to the staff along with how excited he is to see them at pick up and drop off. I also feel that updating parents during the day must help the staff with pick up times so they aren't having to launch into a full handover to every parent coming in the door? The bulk of it has already been done gradually throughout the day. The staff in our nursery do amazing work and I think it's right that it's evidenced so they get the credit for it!

Point taken re small kids language skills but i disagree about updates during the day tbh. To each their own but if you're working, you'd be driven demented with pings from creche. I really think you need to pick somewhere you're comfortable with, get your quick update at the end of the day and know that it'll be over in a relatively short space of time.

If you’re happy with the rest of the nursery experience (on the whole) I’d probably let it go (begrudgingly).

However, speaking from experience, things like this are rarely the only thing that bothers you - I am kicking myself for having signed my youngest up to the nursery my other two went to. With my first, I really liked them. Then when my second went we were in the post Covid era where she got sent home regularly for any reason they could find (and the temp she had at nursery always disappeared by the time I got home). But we knew them and they do a flexible contract around my husbands shifts so number 3 was signed up. They sent her home 3 times in 5 weeks (the first 5 weeks when I went back to work and really didn’t need to look like I wasn’t coping). On the third time they told me she couldn’t go back the next day and I went ballistic and never sent her back. Signed up to another nursery who use Famly and oh my word I have been missing out. I get photos every now and then, proper invoices, I know what she’s eaten and the activities - I had none of that in the old place. I kick myself for not going there sooner!

I work in a nursery - and by the time we write all the observations, sort breakfast, lunch, tea, do all the nappies, get 38 kids to sleep on top of all the other activities it is hard to find time to upload photos and stuff

also this last few years we end up with loads of cover staff / agency staff sometimes because its so hard to recruit in the childcare sector.

I do think the problem OP is having is the shitty handover rather than a lack of photos. If you get an actual conversation with the staff on pick up about their day it's much more useful, and allows you to build a relationship with your child's carers. I think it's important for the children to see that Mummy and Sarah (or whoever) are friends. Much better than anything that could happen on an app.

We have no family nearby and nursery are our village. We wouldn't feel that way with a 30s handover at the gate I don't think.

It can be a pain to upload photos all the time but if I have a concerned parent I snap a few photos a day and just show them on my camera to reassure them, I don't always get time to upload them as most time is spent actually interacting with children but I'm sure they'd be happy to keep you in the loop for a couple of days

They say they haven’t got time. If they put more energy into photos something has to give. Maybe their educational standards have got higher and they do more learning. Maybe there are more children needing extra support. More intimate care happening. Maybe they have less volunteers or something.

I completely understand how you feel. At my DS’s nursery i get updates twice a day including photos of just him. They also update as to how what he eats and I get golden moments every so often.

Id raise it with the nursery again. My DS’s nursery gives excellent care and manage the updates too. I can understand at a non private nursery they may not have the staff or time but think it’s something you should expect. I pay £103 a day so definitely expect!!

@ColleenDonaghy

Gentle reminder that nursery is not your village. Nursery won’t look after your child when they’re ill, won’t take them overnights to give you a break. Nursery is a service provided by professional staff, and it’s a service that can be removed at short notice such as staff sickness meaning ratios can’t be met, weather closures etc.

Parents who feel like this are also the ones who say ‘but I have to work!’ when their child is excluded through illness as though it’s our fault. I’m a working parent too, I get it, but that’s why you need an actual village to step in when the paid for service ran by employees enact their workplace policies.

OP sorry I think you are being bonkers. A few group pics once a week would be ample. I would rather they focused on the children than taking photos.
I have no idea why theis seems so important to you. It has no relation to the quality of care .

Nursery teacher here, 26 children to 2 members of staff (government ration). Children attend 6 hours a day. I can just about manage one tapestry upload for each child a week, occasionally two. I hope parents prefer I spend time with their children anyway, so far there have not been any complaints.

Wtf. I don't know what it is in any of my posts that indicates anything other than respect for the women who work in our nursery. They are our village, we don't have anyone else nearby. That doesn't mean we take the piss or expect them to do overnight. We've never once taken advantage about illness - if we have a sick child we look after them ourselves, I wouldn't ask family to either.

I've done nothing but stick up for nursery staff on this thread (and others) and I really resent you twisting my words like that.

Completely with you OP, I'd feel exactly the same. YANBU.

Tbf if a child has come in upset ill message the parent and send a photo..the younger ages do update the apps with food and sleep but not for pre school. I'm glad the requirement and expectation have moved in the direction they have. You feel you're spending more quality time with the children rather then looking down or being on the I-pad more then if needed. 2 a month works,our parents are happy and they were told when it was changing over what the amount would be. Different I guess if unaware but doesn't mean short staffed could mean they've changed the work load for staff and want more children time

For those saying they are with the OP, would you rather more photos and updates or the staff spending more quality time with your DC?

the EYFS changed so it’s not compulsory to document things like this as much as before. Also after Xmas there is probably a lot of new starters. I work in a nursery myself and it has been hectic trying to settle the new children in, most of whom are 2 years old so focus might be on these children at the moment. My nursery is small and we try to give each child a tapestry each day but it hasn’t been possible lately so the kids who attend every day sometimes don’t get one, although they would get at least 2 per week. I do feel that they should have given you a bit more than what you have had. Maybe you could talk to her key worker (if she has one as that’s not necessary in all places) maybe ask for one personal tapestry per week? Explain how you understand that they’re busy but you are feeling mum guilt and would love to be able to talk to your daughter about what she has done that day/week? A good nursery should take your feeling into account and keep a good relationship with you. Hope u can sort it out 😊

Seems like it! I think these are the same parents who spend more time taking pictures of their kids, rather than just enjoying being in the moment. It's all about the 'gram innit 🤨

Early years practitioner here with 13 years experience. Ofsted are more
focused on what we are teaching them, not the photo of the teaching moment. As a mother, it is nice to see pictures of what they are doing. But as a practitioner it is very impractical trying to balance caring, teaching, feeding, changing etc with the added pressure of snapping photos. I’ve had as many as 15 key children previously 🫣 it was absolutely mental. Having 35 2 year olds in a room, not going to lie, getting photos of them is at the bottom of the list. Nurseries are often understaffed and we just don’t have time for paperwork.

i assume the staff are doing the uploading so are they expected to leave the room and go to an office to do this? Or is it the nursery manager who does it? As clearly if the member of staff has to do it in the room whilst trying to watch the children she’s going to be massively distracted. You know why it’s changed but if it makes you feel better go in and ask. I’d rather my child was watched personally than a staff member in the corner on a tablet for an hour uploading photos

I remember when all this Learning Journey stuff came in when I worked in a primary school

I remember asking then, what was the point as it took so much time away from the children - and they were stuck in individual scrapbooks then!

Thank goodness that's not happening so much now

Totally agree with this, I found this comment disturbing too

And bloody hell they struggle (as in the parents) with the adjustment to school…

The EYFS now says that safeguarding policies should state "How mobile phones, cameras and other electronic devices with imaging and sharing capabilities are used in the setting. " It used to just say "mobiles and cameras", It doesn't mean they can't use them, though, it just means they need policies setting out how they can and can't be used.

The key reason will be the changes in the EYFS - there used to be lots of evidence requirements, then research showed that this was taking time away from actually interacting with the children.

1.11 of the current EYFS says "When forming a judgement about whether an individual child is at the expected level of development, teachers should draw on their knowledge of the child and their own expert professional judgement. This is enough evidence to assess a child’s 12 individual level of development in relation to each of the ELGs. Recorded written or photographic evidence is not required."

The EYFS Profile Handbook says "Schools should not include burdensome evidence gathering requirements against any of the areas of learning in their assessment policies so that teachers can spend as much time as possible interacting with children and directly supporting their learning and development. However, teachers may find it helpful to record, in a simple way, particularly noteworthy achievements, such as what phonemes and numbers a child has learned, in order to determine what to teach next. This is sufficient to make a judgement. Sources of written or photographic evidence are not required, and teachers are not required to record evidence. "

The pre-school I'm involved in do still take a few photos and write up about key achievements, but it is less than it used to be. GDPR means that parents have to actively opt in to allowing photos and it can be a real pain trying to take photos that don't involve those children who haven't agreed to it so most staff are happy not to have to take as many, but do take the occasional one as they know parents like them.

I agree it doesn’t take long to take a quick photo of children.

However, when you say it’s not like they are rushed off their feet every moment, is not accurate. I playrooms is a very very busy place and the staff work incredibly hard all shift long in my experience. I’m not sure what nurseries you have been in that the staff look lethargic and sleepy. This is the opposite of my experience.