to be surprised by mother wanting to accompany child to a play date

[Whereisthesunny]

invited a 6 year old friends for a play date and it wasn’t until my son said today it won’t be a real play date as his friends mum was coming too so txt her to ask what she is picking up and it turns out she is planning on coming which i get but also feel bad as now it makes things so much complicated i have 3 other children at home plus will have. to cook tea for them. its not that i feel that she is unreasonable by coming along with child but it makes me worry realising that having 3 others in the house including teenagers it will be a bit awkward and complicated for me . Plus the child is scared of dogs so ill have another job trying to keep the dog away too.

My six year old wouldn't want me to leave her!

it’s too late to rearrange the kids have been really looking forward to it and it’s a good ds said something yesterday otherwise i would have had a shock when she turns up and get comfy 😁

It's a bit odd in my experience, but the families at my school know each other pretty well by 6, so wouldn't stay. Bring a chair in to the kitchen, give her a cup of tea and crack on with the cooking. Chat while you go. It's unlikely she's expecting more than that.

At six they should be more than fine being dropped-off.

That sounds like a decent night tbh, pizza or Chinese? Either way I'm in 😂

Your children were raised in another time and place though weren't they? Not strange to think that the norms could be different.

Once they are 12 your DC are unlikely to have the same friends as when they are 6.

Shocked at the all the replies saying they would never leave their kids at 6. Really? At 6 ours would have a friend over, go to their room or garden and play for hours. We just checked in every now and then. Worst case if dropping off at a new friend we stayed for 5 mins to check they seemed ok before we left. Couldnt get out fast enough! No wonder there’s a lack of independence and resilience these days.

times have changed if parents now stay with 6 year olds on play dates. My kids are in their
teens now but this never happened when they were 6 and would've been considered odd if requested unless the child had significant special needs.

My DD recently had this when she invited my grandsons friend for a play date. The mum later shared that the little boy is fostered and the foster parents have to be there.

I have never stayed with nor had a parent come along on a playdate. Ever! There would never have been any playdates on either side if that were the case! The thoughts of it gives me hives!

There is no ‘should’ in this situation- every child is different.

I hated ‘play dates’ without my mum at that age, and more than once sneaked out and went home… I grew up to be a normal functioning adult with jobs and friends etc!

Well I’m at the other end of the planet, and it’s perfectly normal for some 6YOs to still want their Mum to stay and/or some parents to want to stay.

Perfectly within the realms of normal.

Ridiculous! Do you know how tiny that risk is?

Where will the dog be, regardless of whether mum comes or not? Would you be supervising the dog or just leaving it with the 6yo?

For goodness sake all the people going about supervising the dog whether mum is there or not. Of course OP would be supervising it but she wouldn’t have to make conversation at the same time!

Im sorry OP.

Still it will be over soon, I’d open a bottle too

the dog has no interest in the kids and resides in the living room but actually will probably get my husband to keep him in his garden office while they are here. Less thing to worry about. i get that some kids are not into dogs

In that case she’s way over the top. But even if you didn’t mind, it would have been polite for her to check it’s ok. I’d be very tempted to ask her if she’s concerned about anything.

I wouldn't expect a parent to attend with a 6 year old for an after school play date (which is probably only going to be a couple of hours long). If you were going to soft play / a park then yes maybe the parent would come to, but you would invite them.

If the mum wants to know you I would suggest another time and or place to have a play date!

I wouldn’t send my young child to a home that I’d never been to before and wouldn’t send them to a home where I don’t know the parents/I know they have an animal DC is scared of either. Play dates with friends involve parents for the first few times around here.

Just say you're looking forward to seeing her and that as the kids will likely be off playing in your sons room, you will be using the time to cook and catch up on chores so she might want to bring a book, but that you'll be happy to supply her with lots of cups of tea.

Just really set the tone and expectation in a breezy offhand way. And make sure your house is set up so you can steer her where you want her e.g. bring her to the kitchen, make her a coffee at the kitchen table and get on with your cooking and chat for a bit. Then hopefully she will relax and busy herself.

Mine's only 8 and no parents were staying on playdates round our way at 6, unless the parents were mates anyway and particularly wanted a catch-up

At 4-5 I'd usually offer a cup of tea and most people would stay for the first half an hour or so, then pop off and pick them up later, but it was a bit more flexible for that age group.

You're a busy household. You have a dog, older children and she's never been before so doesn't know your set-up/what easily accessible hazards there are in your house.

Her child sounds like a handful. She may think he needs closer supervision than she suspects you will be able to provide.

She's coming to ensure her child is safe and to prevent him being a pain in the arse and potentially causing damage to your house or bothering your dogs/teens.

That would be my worst nightmare. Luckily no parents stayed with their children when DS was younger. I absolutely hate small talk with a passion and would be dreading it for days before.

I would do this too.

It’s rude for her not to check with you first as the invitation was extended to her child and not to both child and mum.

Another time this happened here, the child’s father came in and waited while the child had a play date. He brought his toddler with him too so instead of having a child here, I had the child, her father and little sister. I never invited that child again.