Boyfriend wants to take my friend out on a date

[MayNov]

So, trying to keep this one short. My friend from out of town is coming to stay with me for a few days. My boyfriend has met her and gone out with us the last time she was in town. My boyfriend has taken a couple of days off work to go out with us.

I've mentioned I was going to do a gym&swim on one of the days she's here (I can spend up to 4 hours gymming & swimming) and my boyfriend said he'll ask my friend whether she wants to go on a long walk and for a lunch at the local pub with him. I said that would make me feel uncomfortable, he said he doesn't see any reason why this would make me feel uncomfortable.

Aibu to insist this would make anyone feel uncomfortable?

I went to visit a friend abroad. She had to work some of the days I was there (no choice). Her boyfriend at the time took an afternoon off to take me out, which was absolutely lovely of him. I still remember that kindness - and, when they came back to visit, I was delighted to host them both and take them out for the day. Nothing untoward at all.

Ok, just read the late night drinking update.

With this information, my opinion has done a 180 and now I find it all a bit weird.

Seems pretty nice of him.

Do you not trust him?

Sorry just re-read your post. Um yes this is still weird. Taking time off work and using days holidays to entertain your partner's friends is strange. Full stop.

But it't not one size fits all. Posters are weird about projecting their own personal situations on to everything else.

I clicked with DP's best uni mate after meeting him a couple of times (including one late-night drinking session after our partners had gone to bed). I'd have happily entertained him if he'd visited us and DP was busy. Shouldn't need saying but obviously we clicked platonically only.

Some other friends of his I now consider my friends but it took a while longer for that to happen.

And some other friends of his are people I get on with but wouldn't be bothered about hanging out with if he wasn't there.

Pretty sure he has similar views about various friends of mine.

I would have skipped the gym to spend time with my friend or get her a guest pass so she can come to? I think your bf was being nice! Definitely wouldn’t describe it as a date! But read your update and as you’ve only been together a short amount of time and not years I think it’s a bit odd. I would have presumed he knew her really well by taking the day off etc. I would listen to my gut feeling if I was you. Is it a bf issue??

EXACTLY!!! OP, come on!

Totally weird.

Takes time off work to see your friend who he’s only met once, but stayed up late with whilst you went to bed? 🧐
He seems a bit too keen for my liking.

It's very odd 😕 I am puzzled why you want to spend so much time doing swimming 🏊‍♀️ and gym sessions when your friend is coming over to vist,

and equally as peculiar in my opinion too,
why your boyfriend wants to go for a long walk and a meal together with your friend,

All around quite a weird relationship and friendship set up ...

Curiously peculiar!

he seems rather keen on her doesn't he? Taking days off to spend time with her. What happened the evening they spent drinking together till late? Did you suspect anything?

Typo omission
at the same time *

Jealousy is a horrible trait. Carry on as you are and you will be the ex girlfriend.

@Flickersy

well, that's just not going to stir up an outrage is it!! 😂😂😂

Why has your boyfriend taken him off for you to spend Time with your friend? She's there to see you, not him. Are you one of those couples who are attached at the hip?

Curious. Your friend is visiting and you intend doing a leisure activity without her for an afternoon. Boyfriend is perfectly reasonably entertaining her for you. If you have a problem do not go swimming and gyming but entertain your friend yourself. She is visiting you, after all.

Cut down your gym time and ask your friend if she would like a guest pass so she can enjoy the pool or sauna (if they have one).

you'd find it less curious if read the OP's post explaining why this 'leisure activity' helps counter a pain flare up she's experiencing.

Yeah I’m also wondering why he’d take days off work as in annual leave to spend with your friend when presumably he’d see her in the evening. Also why you’d still go the gym while she’s staying. Can you not miss a week?

@VoleChomper
I have had various back issues for years and whilst most back issues respond well to movement and exercise, none require 4 hour work outs, that is excessive!

So unless you live in a damn fun city, leaving a guest alone for 4 hours is not only bad hosting, it also also be a bit boring for them.

Personally, if I were in your situation and my partner offered to entertain/show my visiting friend around and I felt uncomfortable with it, that would
mean I have trust issues on some
level.

I can't understand either why you can't have a guest vistor pass from the gym ect or healthspa place you vist regularly for your friend?

After a bit of time consirdering this your boyfriend is just making sure your friend doesn't feel left out of the equation,

because you rather spend lots of time doing your thing,
even though your friend is coming over to vist you.

*Staying up drinking with someone doesn't mean you fancy them? What a strange thing to say.

I stay up drinking with people if I'm not tired and enjoying the chat. 99% of the time, no sexual component.

If the OP's friend enjoyed the bf's company last time she visited she may well be looking forward to seeing both of them. Most of my mates have chosen decent partners with good chat so obviously I look forward to seeing both of them.*

And this is exactly why I asked what the friend thought!

He is not taking her on a date. He is offering to look after her while you spend 4 hours doing something else (albeit for you medical reasons). What a nice boyfriend.

'I have guest pass etc and was planning to ask my friend to join me. My friend comes to visit me quite regularly (she's a childhood friend from my home country) and in the past has been happy to either spend time with me in the gym or go shopping/ sight seeing by herself.'

Is there something in the air atm? So many threads where the OP is so obviously rude/selfish/ unreasonable.

And it has to be pointed out, like with a child.

Madness