That if your male child has shoulder length hair it's reasonable to expect other kids will pass comment?

[mrsfinch6]

Dropping DS5 and DS3 off at nursery this morning when the nursery manager took me aside and wanted to “discuss an incident that happened yesterday” I was a bit confused because when I had collected them both the day before everything was fine.

The “incident” was that there is a little boy at nursery with shoulder length, curly blonde hair, and DS3 has been calling him a girl.

The parent of this child went into nursery this morning to report to the staff that my DS was calling him a girl. The nursery manager wanted my assurances that I would be firm with DS at home and have “the conversation” regarding this.

AIBU to say that if you have a 4 year old male child with long blonde hair that it is realistic to expect that other children in that age group will pass comment?

DS3 is very much of the opinion that “pink is for girls, blue is for boys, girls wear dresses and boys wear trousers etc” he only likes typical boys toys, whereas DS5 is a bit less bothered, he picked a pink scooter and is partial to a unicorn, I don’t encourage or discourage either way, however I do believe in sex not gender and whilst I appreciate there are a multitude of reasons why this child has long hair, I don’t think it’s my 3 year olds issue tbh

They are very young kids and yes I have spoken to him and reiterated that we don’t tease other kids and that it’s not kind to pass comment on others appearance but honestly? Reporting it to the nursery? Talk about extreme.

SmilingMoon · Yesterday 11:52

Interesting how people are so quick to say children learn all negative attitudes from adults, when in actual fact small kids are naturally extremely black and white about everything.”

Yes, they are. Which is precisely why a child wouldn’t give a moment’s thought to the length of another’s hair unless they had been indoctrinated with stereotypes by their sexist, very outdated parent.

“Everyone is different” adequately covers it for most 3 year olds.

porridgeisbae · Yesterday 11:59
**
1 Corinthians 11:14 'Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him.'”

Oh, please!

Every depiction I’ve ever seen of the main male characters of the bible shows them with long hair, as was the norm in the Middle East in biblical times.

Dantedisciple · Yesterday 13:35
**
He has to get used to being a boy.
**
The more we encourage little boys to have long hair the more they will want to invade women's safe spaces when they are big boys.”

You’re joking, yes? If not, counselling may be in order.

But that’s a lie, there is such thing as boys and girls hairstyles, with the exception of anomalies. If you lie to them, it’s not going to stop them from perceiving the world the way they see it. Why would you go out of your way to confuse your own child?

The conversation should be “You know that’s right, lots of girls have long hair but some boys have long hair too and some girls have short hair like you”.

But that’s a lie, there is such thing as boys and girls hairstyles, with the exception of anomalies.

Except it's not a lie. Hairstyles are dictated by fashion, not gender/sex. At the moment it is fashionable/typical for western boys to have short hair but that hasn't always been the case.

Currently, skin fades are just as trendy with women as they are with men. Ditto long hair is just as trendy with men as it is with women. Mullets are making a comeback in both male and female fashion.

There isn't such a thing as boy and girl hairstyles. Saying there is is like saying there are boy toys and girl toys.

Literally nothing stops girls from having short hair and boys from having long hair other than society which is mainly all made up anyways. It isn't illegal, it isn't physically impossible, it isn't even taboo or immoral.

Omg you sound like a nightmare tbh what defaced are you living in??? You should stop your child before he becomes a bully. If he's of the opinion long hair is for girls and short for boys, and pink is for girls and blue for boys then you are the one that's failed and you are the one that needs to educate him

This

Hilarious. Oh dear

Do Christian's not portray Jesus with long hair in every single picture of him??? Yet another example of what hypocritical judgemental people can hide behind religion to spread their evil

My mum is of the ‘all children should have short hair’ type, I was only ever allowed bob length at most.

It is annoying to look after long hair- I always French plaited my sons after a wash during the week so it was out of the way at school etc and wasn’t always needing to be brushed!

But there ARE girls toys and boys toys. I am to assume that you’ve been to play groups or toddler groups, look at how the boys and girls play with different things. The exception is at the baby age where anything that is shiny or makes noises is a toy for them.

@porridgeisbae Saul of Tarsus was a grifter who realised that he could use this newfangled "Christianity" to get power. To do so, he warped Yeshua the Nazarene's teachings to incorporate and reinforce Roman norms, one of which was male short hair, and another of which was female subservience.

Yep mullets are making a comeback.
Yep people are taking the piss out of people with mullets.😂
I think Mumsnetters are going to have a hard time in life if they think people aren't going to comment on their appearance. Stereotypes exist for a reason they have a grain of truth.
Calling a 3-year-old a bully is disgusting.

no there are not. Or do they forbid you buying them if you’re from the wrong sex ? Do they take you to prison?

Two of the four teenagers/young adults in my house currently have mullets. No one has taken the piss out of them

I've also noted 0 difference in the way male toddlers and female toddlers play with toys.

Boys and girls play with different things because they are given different things to play with. I was given lego to play with, so I played with lego and still do. I played with toy cars. I played with train sets. I played with dolls occasionally but found things I could build with far more interesting.

Had my parents only given me dolls, I would have had no choice but to play with dolls. Luckily, they gave me a range of toys and let me decide what I wanted to play with. Not every child is so lucky.

So it's OK to comment on the appearance of a child with Down's Syndrome? Or on the stimming of an autistic child?

Bullying is never OK.

OP' wingnuttery aside, it's hilarious that there are people like @porridgeisbae who genuinely believe Jesus had hair like Jim Bob Duggar 😂

Don’t be daft. This isn’t about forcing boys things on to girls and girl things on to girls. It’s simply a matter of tendencies of children’s preferences, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

My friend’s boyfriend was beaten up by a group of guys who called him a girl. The only one who didn’t and told them to stop, stopped at my friend as she was about to thank him and said ‘your boyfriend needs to get his hair cut’. A girl I went to college grew her hair because she got so much crap off people calling her a boy. Easy for your ds to go wrong if it was just a case of ‘long hair=girl’, as happens when kids are young, not ok if it’s done on purpose.

“Saul of Tarsus was a grifter” 😂😂😂.

It was also a reflection of his Jewish mystical background. Where men and women were divine opposite. But he seemed to take the idea of the male and female spiritual concepts and slap them on the sexes (tbh this had been happening for a long time).

But yes, there does seem a lack of acknowledgement modern Christianity is the cult of Paul rather than Yeshuah

I’d say out of the so called synoptic gospels Mark is the only one near the truth. (Original short ending not the long one).

But quoting Paul’s work is like quoting a book on manners for women from the medieval period and expecting it to still be relevant.

It’s simply a matter of tendencies of children’s preferences, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The only tendencies very young children have is to emulate their parents/older siblings.

That girls tend to lean towards dolls and pink is social engineering. TV marketing tells them they prefer dolls. When they are toddlers marketing hasn't really impacted them yet so they'll play with toys in the same way as their peers of the opposite sex.

They don't play with different things, not in my experience. I played with much the same as my DS did.

This whole thread is about forcing boys haircuts and toys onto boys, and girls haircuts and toys onto girls! OP has even taught her son that girls can’t wear trousers!