I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

We let our grandparents decide what they wanted to be known as. We have a grandad, Gang-Gang and a Gramps, a nanna, Gran and Grandma (husband’s parents split and remarried). It was totally up to them not us.

How authoritarian to order what a grandparent should be called. If she wants to be known as Nonna or Nana or Ninie (Welsh) or her first name or whatever. Does it matter?

My mum was Granny because her mum was my granny and she wanted that moniker. Same as my MIL chose Nanny. I’m proabaly going against the grain but why can’t the GP chose what they are known as? There may be a reason they don’t want to be ‘Nan’ and being forced to hear yourself called that might be really uncomfortable. It’s an identifier at the end of the day and don’t we want to chose how we are identified?

I think it should be your choice, agree it sounds hortibly controlling by your ds and the mother to be. Are you not able to tell them that's how you feel?

Not relevant to your choice but your friends knoen as Gigi etc. reminds me of a sad story I heard on the radio actually. A woman shared her distress that her choice to be called a cutsie shortening of her first name when she became a grandmother meant that her granddaughter reached the age of 10 before she realised they were related. The daughter, speaking later as a 17 year old, had always wished she had a grandmother when she was younger 😔Food for thought for some, maybe?

I think that you should have a say, but Nonna without an Italian heritage, like me, sounds daft.

Hey

im 66 and Nan to my grandchildren sometimes Nonna and GG to my 2great grandchildren.
My children knew I would be less than happy with grandma or great grandma.
Everyone’s happy

We let my mum choose what she would be called when we produced her first grandchild - she chose Nanna. DH’s mum was already nanny with older grandchildren.

Although toddlers might have other ideas, I'd say it's up to the grandparents to say what they'd prefer. Both sets of my grandparents and my kids grandparents chose their nicknames.

You may desire a particular moniker but once your grandchild can speak you’re sure to lose control. I’m granny bubblehead and the other grandmother is granny flathead (it’s a hair thing). Perhaps not what we would have chosen but who cares?

As in, I AM Italian by genes and heritage, therefore I shall be Nonna if my only DS fathers a child.

I always assumed the grandparents got to chose how they wanted to be addressed. I had two grannies, my DM and DMil both wanted to be known as Grandma by my DC. I never questioned this.

For what it’s worth, I think everyone has the right to choose their own nicknames, especially grandparents. The kids always land on their own versions anyway. I would see it as a way for my family members to have a little bit of agency in the whole process…a way to actively engage in building a relationship with the little one. My aunts, uncles and grandparents were always allowed to pick their own ways of being addressed. I think Nonna is lovely, btw

Hmmm, our parents got to choose their grandparent identities.

I would have had no objection to Nonna, or any other grandparent title. It’s a term of endearment. I think your DC is being fussy.

Also, those saying a child will call you want they want, so you don’t get a say anyway, are also wrong in my experience. We teach our children to speak and we introduce them to the words and names to use. “Look who’s here! It’s Granny/Grandma/Nanny/Nonna”. The child picks it up from that. Sometimes we adjust our titles, if a child can’t say the name correctly and it’s cute (Like George saying Ganny ‘Ig in Peppa Pig), but generally kids copy what adults tell them.

Everyone knows that nanna, nonna, nain are the same as grandma....they are not made up words they are from various cultures not nick names

Hi op. Not sure. I'll be honest. Afriend of mine hated being called auntie (it's equivalent in my culture which is what kids say to family friends and don't call grown ups by their names as a sign of respect and closeness). This was because the term meant old for her. Now my kids call her by name which is ok here but so obviously wannabe cool and young forever in my culture so it ends up with other , worse, undesirable connotations. I think this might have a lot to do with your own feelings about yourself and not theirs. You need to address these. We all get old and will hopefully become grannies . A new phase of life which has beauty in itself. Hard to do I know! So I sympathise but just cautioning that there seems to be other underlying issues on your side, and those issues will become apparent to everyone if you insist on cool names.

my MIL insisted on the French 'Mamie'. I hated it - too similar to Mummy, especially from the little one with a speech impediment. I just used their names, and sure enough as the kids got older, they started using their names, and not 'Mamie'. If family harmony is at stake, don't push for Nonna, as they may well not use it forever.

We have an Italian branch between others. Also a Mamgu, my grandad was Poppy. I mean who cares. One set of grandparents live many thousands of miles away in a completely different culture and I have no idea what they they call themselves. We also have mixes from other parts of Europe. At school if they are expecting a "grandmother" the staff is intelligent enough to understand that grandparents are called different names. You could be called your own first name or anything you like and it becomes part of the normal in time, It isn't up to the parents in this case OP it's your decision. Your son sounds a little rigid about this and he may relax later on when the baby arrives, you could say you are stil thinking but really you don't like "granny"!

I know a family that calls the grandmother Gigi, so sorry that one has gone Economy!

Do you have Italian connections? Otherwise, why on earth? I am actually Nonna because I am half Italian and my daughters called their Italian grandmother Nonna and wanted their children to call me the same. But there are of course very strong Italian connections.

Daddy's an arse

My DH and I were lucky enough to know all of our grandparents and, by chance, all four sets were Granny and Grandad. Come the arrival of first grandchild my Mum said she'd prefer to be Grandma. I said that might be difficult for DH and I to keep up as we were both so used to Granny and Grandad (three were still alive at that point). Mum was fine about it and became a wonderful, and now much-missed, Granny...

There are some very weird responses on here. I asked my mum what she wanted to be called and so did my brother, can’t imagine why it’s such an issue for some people that you have a say.

Any Italians on here - or ideally an Italian Nonna - as that would be a very valid opinion .

This is quite a pretentious point of view. You can’t dare all yourself a name that you like because it’s Italian.

well so what? Are all your children’s names English? Were they derived from Anglo Saxon? Have they been shaped by other languages along the way? Language is shared. It evolves. It’s beautiful.

People saying ‘BuT iTs ItAlIAn’ don’t seem to grasp that lots of names you believe to be English didn’t start that way.