I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

Some people do and some keep the nickname. Just as some kids retain a nickname from a younger sibling who couldn’t say their name and some don’t.

No need! And we’re only talking 4/5 months here! I’ve been taken for at least ten years younger all my life which wasn’t too much fun in my teens and twenties.

Yes I will be too I’m sure. This was never meant to be the epic it’s turned out to be, I just don’t like any of the English names too much, neither am I offended by them, I’m just not too keen and thought I’d like an alternative.

Granny and Grandad aren't really nicknames though, are they. They're what the child will call their grandparent for life, they are actual names, in effect.

@tachetastic

youre right! Won’t somebody think of the children ?!

Not talking about granny and grandmother but nicknames such as bampy, gan gan etc.

Yes, but they're not really nicknames either. A nickname is often an additon to a real name. Bampy or Gan Gan become the real name for the child.

It's all very cute when they're three or four. When you hear adults talking about their Bumpy or their Noo-noo, it sounds twee and awful,

I have a 48 year old friend who who could easily pass for late 20s. She hates it and actually feels embarrassed telling people her children are at uni because of the looks & comments she receives. .

Bampy and gan gan are grandparent not kids’ nicknames. A nickname can be anything either additional or actual, some family members use only one or the other.

If nn usage upsets you you don’t have to do it yourself.

Personally I cannot stand Nan, Nanna, Nanny. I’d never heard them used until MN. In fact I initially thought nanny was a reference to an old family nanny!

Nana is a popular girls name in some countries. I think it's really endearing & cute 😁

It’s should absolutely be up to you. It’s like me saying to someone ‘I don’t like the name Helen so I’m going to call you Cindy’
Being a grandparent is part of your identity and most grandparents get to choose how they wish to be known. Unfortunately not all.
My brother’s wife did this to my mum. She didn’t like the name my mum goes by as a grandmother (a name that has been in our family for many generations) and insisted their children call my mum nanna. They’re the only two out of 12 grandchildren that do. It’s bizarre!
Sadly, I think to keep the peace and build a relationship with your grandchildren you may have to go along with their wishes but you really shouldn’t have to.

Nanny Campervan is fanbloodytastic!

My grandparents had one, too. One of the old air-cooled VW mystery machine type ones. Happy memories.

To me Grandma sounds really formal, and Granny sounds a bit royal, both sound like something that snobs would use to elevate their social status (sorry, Grandmas and Grannies!). Nan comes for the Welsh ‘Nain’ and I think is more prevalent in areas close to Wales. Nana and Nanny are a more childlike version of Nan. My Dsis lives in Derbyshire and her kids use “Nannaaarrr” which I’ve never heard anywhere else.

I'm with you.

What I don't understand is why in some families, once a name has been chosen it's taken; ie. if one chooses grandma the other has to be 'Nana' or some different name. We've never had a 'Nana' in my family. I had two Grandmas (later Gran) and was never in any confusion as to which was which!

DH's mother insists on 'Nana'. Her decision and it never occurred to me to interfere: times are different now. OP, your son is being unnecessarily dictatorial, IMO, but whether this is your hill to die on is up to you. Is there a risk this could interfere with your relationship with the child? If so - and this isn't to say I agree with your son's position - I'd probably go along with it.

'Granny' is the normal WC word around here.

My daughter calls me 'Mumoo' and has decided therefore that when she has children I shall be 'Nanoo' 🥰. I did not choose Mumoo and I have not chosen Nanoo but I rather like it 😊.

Bampy and gan gan are grandparent not kids’ nicknames.

Yes, I understad that.

My point is that, to the child, these aren't nicknames, they are the actual/only names of their grandparents.

My grandparenst were all working class Londoners. They were Nanny and Grandad. Not Welsh, not posh, very common.

This is brilliant! I sometimes refer to DDs Nanna (my Mum) as Nanoo Nanoo in appreciation of Robin Williams' character on Mork and Mindy.

It may be that your grandchildren give you the name. My dad is still Pampam and my kiddo is 8.

Am baffled as to why they think they get to choose what YOU are going to be called. My mum chose to be Grandma - and my MIL chose to be Nanny. We didn't insist on anything at all and were happy for them to choose. It's their name, after all!
I think them insisting a name you don't like or want is weird and controlling and I'd be telling them that!

They may do eventually. But for the first few months a child doesnt even have the linguistic capability to voice 'Pampam'. So what do you do in the interim? Lots of people here have said their children 'chose' the names. Fine. But what happened up until that stage? And what about subsequent siblings? Do they adopt the name bestowed by the eldest? Or does the grandparent end up with a collection of names?

Honestly - far simpler to let the grandparent choose!

Escaping the possibility of ever being called (or having to hear) nannaaaaah, is a plus of me moving having moved from Derbyshire (where I grew up) to the soft south!

You should be called what you want to be called. And no, it doesn’t matter if you have an Italian connection. Whatever you are called is your name so I’d put my foot firmly down and say what you want.

My grandfather was known by an unusual name for grandfather. He asked, our parents obliged.

As the elder, you should be shown respect for your wishes.

@MasterBeth The child knows they’re nns or diminutives unless they’re tiny.

I think it should be the DGP’s choice but the DP’s should have a veto.

That said, ultimately the DGC may well decide something completely different 😂 I know a Granny Dentures (a mispronunciation of where she lives), a Pooh (her name is Winnie and the poor woman has had to suffer a generation of grandchildren and great grandchildren calling her Pooh out in public 😂) and a very lovely, misnamed Witchie (because the eldest DGC was into fairy tales and magic, and they had a longstanding game where they called each other Witch “name of their respective cat”) 😂

Wasn’t the queen known as Gary to her DGC?